Monday, March 18, 2013

The Amazing Race 22- March 17, 2013 Episode Recap

Your Tan Is Totally Cool

Dave & Connor kicked off this leg at 5:01am - reading the clue that they are heading for Hanoi, Vietnam (I always hear Viet-nam in my head like Forrest Gump said it, "So long, Jenny, I'm heading to Viet-NAM.") Once they land in Hanoi, they must make their way to a certain theatre in the middle of town and get their next clue in Gallery 42 (I'm a poet.)
-They are heading to a travel agency and crying Dad tells us his orthopaedic surgeon at home recommended he have surgery on his injury within 7 days or risk permanent impairment - so they are flying to Hanoi to be eliminated. 

-Pam & Winnie are the next team heading out at 5:21am - they read to us the "Caution, U-Turn ahead" part of the clue (oooh, that always makes it more crazy competitive.)  The girls say they don't know who was eliminated but they know that John & Jessica, the Roller Moms and the U-tubers have an alliance and they want to break it up because they know they can't run the race on their own. (Well, part of your wish has already been granted - John & Jessica are gonzo.)
-Max & Katie (horrible Honeymooners) are 3rd to leave at 5:25am and they are looking forward to using the U-Turn (I'm sure for these two they wish they could use it more than once - they're just plain awful.) They hope they can use it on Jess & John to smoke out the Express Pass (wow, they are all going to be surprised when the find out they don't have to worry about that anymore.)

-The first three teams all meet up at the travel agency and when Max asks Dave & Connor if they are doing another leg, they say they are just going to Hanoi to be eliminated - No game-play BS.
-Winnie & Pam are ecstatic to hear that, now they feel they'll have a better chance of staying at the front of the pack - without a guy in a wheelchair able to roll on by them.
-Max & Katie strike a deal with Winnie & Pam that they won't U-Turn each other - Max says his list is John & Jess, Joey & Meghan (U-Tubers) and Roller Derby.
-Connor pipes up - We're U-Turning somebody... Just kidding. (You can tell it's killing him not to be carrying on.. I wouldn't be surprised if they give Connor a second chance at the Race in a future season.)

-Caroline & Jennifer (Country Singers) are the 4th team starting out at 7:20am - They are excited about heading to Asia but scared about the U-Turn (no worries, you're not on anyone's radar.)
-Joey & Meghan are starting at 9:06am - he makes a Drama Queen gasp at the U-Turn (I find his fake persona annoying - I'm glad they don't show much of him, honestly.)  They figure that John & Jessica were eliminated last leg because they didn't see them today so they went from feeling all secure in their group to feeling very vulnerable.  They find the prospect of being U-Turned very scary.
-Roller Moms - 9:12am - They know John  & Jessica are gone but they still plan on working with Joey & Meghan and know they have to run really hard as they'll likely be U-Turn targets.
-Hockey Brothers - 9:14am - They figure they've got targets on their backs since they do so well in the challenges. (I didn't hear them mentioned for U-Turning, maybe being near the back of the pack means they've been discounted.)
-Chuck & Wynona - 9:23am - They've been together 24 years but she says over the past year they've grown apart, working opposite shifts - she hopes they can reconnect on the race - he hopes they U-Turn stronger teams than them (ha ha, that's so man vs woman - he's all about the race, she's working on their marriage.)

First flight out to Hanoi has Dave & Connor, Pam & Winnie and Max & Katie on board and they are set to arrive at 6pm.

-Country Singers at the travel agency get the next available flights (they will have a stop over in Kuala Lumpur) that will get them to Hanoi by 9:30pm.  The rest of the teams are all on this flight.

-First flight arrives in Hanoi and they head for the theatre - they still haven't seen any other teams, they still don't know who was eliminated... and when they get to the theatre, it is closed for the night and doesn't re-open until 9am... so they will know soon enough when everyone meets up again.
-They show Pam & Winnie bonding with Max & Katie, "We think they're really cool." (Arghh! It's so high school, don't fall for the mean, pretty people, they'll slit your throats to get ahead.  I'm just saying.)

2nd flight arrives and they all meet up in the little room they've been given to crash for the night.  The 2nd flighters wake up Pam & Winnie and Max & Katie who lie to the rest of the teams and tell them that Dave & Connor just went to see a doctor but they haven't quit, they should be back by the morning. (The girls hope this will make everyone relax thinking there is still at team behind them.)
-Then the rest of the teams tell them that John & Jessica were eliminated without using their Express Pass because they thought there were teams behind them and John wanted to save it in case they were U-Turned.
-Pam, "That's great for all of us."  Max, "I can't believe they got eliminated with an Express Pass.  That's just over-confidence and conceit right there."  These comments totally put the Roller Moms and Joey & Meghan's noses out of joint.  Joey can't stand Max.  They had to sit there and listen to Max & Winnie talking crap and laughing about John & Jessica and they felt they couldn't say anything with a U-Turn coming up, they didn't want to put bigger targets on their backs. (I'm totally having High School trauma flashbacks here.)

Next AM - Pit Stop: Vietnam National Museum of History
-Phil is at the mat and Dave & Connor run in to officially, tearfully (of course) resign themselves from the race.  Dave hates letting his son down. Connor said he could never let him down, he's his hero (and I'm bawling... man, it's hard to type.)  Connor'd rather run 4 legs with his Dad than win the million dollars with anybody else. (Wahhh! I'm pathetic.)

7:30am - Country Singers are the first team to the gallery, wanting to get a little jump on the others but it seems everyone is on the same page, Winnie & Pam show up next and Caroline says she especially wants to stay ahead of Joey & Meghan & Roller Moms so they should U-Turn them (wow, obvious alliances are apparently super threatening).
-As the rest of the teams show up they are all filled in on the plan and everyone is on board to U-Turn Joey & Meghan and Roller Moms... once those two teams arrive, it's crickets, awkward silence.  U-Tubers and Roller Moms feel the tension and know they are in trouble.

9am - Gallery opens and they all pile in and grab the clue to the ROADBLOCK:  Who's ready to take in the sights and sounds of the Social Republic of Vietnam?
-One person from each team will have to watch a performance of a patriotic song, when it ends the little girls will tip forward parasols revealing a celebrated quote: Vinh Quang Thay The he Thanh Nien Chung Ta, which means: Glory to our young generation.
-They have to memorize the Vietnamese quote (they are not allowed to take notes) then they have 5 minutes before the next performance to run into another room and find the correct quote on one of the political posters in the gallery.  When they find a poster with the right quote, they'll get their next clue.
-So, we have hockey player Anthony, Country Singer Jennifer, Roller Mom Beth, Newlywed Katie, U-Tuber Meghan, Asian girl Pam and Chuck/The Mullet (Wynona was afraid to have to run... oh man, I don't see this being a task for the mullet.)

First performance ends and they run for the poster room - all the posters have the phrase but some of the words are spelled wrong (Oh Come ON! That's impossible unless you have a photographic memory or know the language.) They just start pulling posters at random and running them back to the judge - No, no, no, no.
-Pam is the first person to find a correct poster (look at the memory on Pam!) They get the clue to head to another place and take part in the traditional bamboo dance to get their next clue (they have to jump over the bamboo that people are opening and closing on the ground...(I can see some good falls happening here - watch the ankles.)  They take off.

-The other teams are all enjoying the second performance of the song - Meghan and Beth are working together, one has to concentrate on the first half and the other the second half.
-Chuck, Jennifer, Katie - all get the correct phrase on their first shot after the 2nd viewing (I owe the Mullet an apology, he knocked that out).  These teams head out for the bamboo dancing.
-Meghan found the right poster but she felt wrong just leaving Beth so she tried to help her find another one ... and they ran out of time so Meghan had to put her correct one back and they had to go watch the performance - again.
-Meghan, Beth and finally Anthony all get the right poster this time and they all head for the bamboo dancing.

Bamboo Dancing
-Pam & Winnie are the first team to arrive and they just jump right in, following the women that were doing the dance when they got there... and they got the clue (wow, that seemed too easy) to the DETOUR: Make Your Move or Make Your Meal.
-Make Your Move - required teams to set up a giant Chinese chess game using people.  They had to find the people with corresponding symbols on their clothes to the symbols on their example board and then place them in the right places as on the board (Whhaa? It seemed a little complicated, but at least they didn't need to know how to play Chinese Chess.) Once they got it right, they'd get the next clue.
-Make Your Meal - required them to make Vietnam's national dish: Pho! First they had to pick up two empty baskets and two baskets of live chickens found outside the temple - then they had to navigate the busy market and buy all the ingredients on their provided shopping list in the exact amounts given.  Once they had all the ingredients, they had to go to the cooking stations where a woman would weigh all the ingredients.  Once they prepared two bowls of Pho Ga to the satisfaction of the chef, they'd get their next clue.
-Pam & Winnie are going to make their move since they both know how to play Chinese chess. (You'll be over-qualified.)

-Back at the bamboo dancing, Chuck and Wynona are jumping through the bamboo, he tells her not to hold his hand and they get a fail.
-Max & Katie are right behind them and they aren't holding hands either - No!  Katie figures out they should have been holding hands.
-Chuck & Wynona do not - and they fail again.
-Max & Katie get the clue to the Detour and they are going to make their meal.

-Country singers got the short straw in the cab driver lottery this leg and are lost in traffic somewhere - the driver stops for directions.

-Back at Bamboo dancing - Joey & Meghan get the clue (and Meghan's wearing bright pink, what I thought were sport socks, but they're leg warmers, but tight like socks... I don't get the point? Maybe compression socks for air travel?  Or is it a weird style thing?) They are going to Make Their Move.

-Hockey Brothers go through the bamboo, holding hands and get their clue - They joke that they really are getting tight on the race, Bates has such soft hands (ha!) and they are going to Make their move as well.

Temple of Literature - Chinese Chess task.
-Pam & Winnie get there and find the old men with the chess board set up, they choose four pieces that they are going to place then run and grab markers to place on the spots on the huge board, then they have to go grab the correct human beings wearing the correct colour and symbols to take the place of their markers.

-Chuck & Wynona fail again at the bamboo dancing (and his hair is huge!) Is it really such a big deal to hold Wynona's hand, maybe their marriage is more troubled than they let on.  OH... finally, they figure out they have to hold hands as Beth & Mona/Roller Moms get a pass and decide to Make their Move. 
-Chuck & Wynona finally go through it correctly and they decide to go cook.
-Country Singers were the last team to arrive at the bamboo dancing and they are going to Make their Move.

-Chess: Pam & Winnie go grab their people to put on the board and they got two of the Chinese Characters right and two wrong. They thought they had it, no problem, so this threw them off.

-Pho: Max & Katie get to the temple and pick up their baskets.  They walk down to the market and start to try to buy the ingredients but the list was in English and the vendors don't understand.  They started yelling for someone who speaks English and were lucky to find a girl who agreed to help them - but when she asked for 500g of chili peppers the lady said it was too much and only gave them 50g (uh oh.)

-Back at the Chess task, Winnie & Pam figured out the colour of the Chinese characters had to match the chess pieces so they went and switched their two red people for blue and they got the clue to make their way to the B-52 memorial to get their next clue (huh, I thought it would be the Pit Stop... Oh YEAH! U-Turn time.)
-The rest of the teams are arriving at the Chess task and the U-Tubers and Roller Moms are especially not thrilled to see Pam & Winnie leaving already.

-Katie & Max get to the cooking stations but they can't start because they didn't get enough chili peppers or basil... and their interpreter is gone.  Katie, "This really sucks."

-Chuck & Wynona get to the temple and pick up two baskets and their list. Wynona, "Don't we need the chickens?"  Chuck, "We don't need no chickens." (Chuck just broke the first rule of Amazing Race, Make sure to read the clue completely, and the first rule of life, Always listen to your wife.  They're my team but I fear they are a little too stupid to go on.) He leads them in the totally wrong direction to boot, she's trying to get him to turn around but still not listening.  Wynona knows she may be the physically weakest but she's smart and he should listen (amen sister.)

-Pam & Winnie get to the B-52 memorial and find the Double U-Turn board - this one is going to be anonymous - they stick to their word and U-Turn Joey & Meghan.  They then get the clue to the Pit Stop and laugh like Angry Birds (he he he wheee!)

-Chuck and Wynona have hired a rickshaw to take them to the market and they're totally lost - Wynona keeps saying it has to be near the temple but he's ignoring her - she thinks it's time to go do some chess.

-Max & Katie have no problem getting the rest of their ingredients (and yeah, that is a LOT of chili peppers.)

-Back at the chess board, everyone is busy placing chess piece people - Bates & Anthony are the next team to get it right and head for the U-Turn.
-Meghan & Joey are the next team to get their chess people right and head out hoping they haven't been U-Turned (oh, you poor things.)
-Roller Moms and Country Singers have no idea what they're doing at the chess thing... ho boy.

-Max & Katie watch the Pho demonstration and quickly get their soup together.  He can't wait to be a douche bag back home and brag about how much better the pho was in Hanoi.   They get the clue for the U-Turn.

-Meanwhile Chuck and his rickshaw driver have finally gotten directions to the market by the temple and they are heading back - Wynona is just fuming that he never listens to anybody.

-Joey & Meghan get to the U-Turn and see that they have been U-Turned - so they're upset, but my question, are they going to U-Turn anyone else? (Commercial break)
-And the answer to that is yes, they are going to U-Turn Chuck & Wynona (Oh man!  The Mullet and wife have enough challenges getting through this leg as it is.)
-In the cab Meghan can't believe they were U-Turned instead of the Hockey Players, do they [the rest of the teams] think they'll stand a chance against the boys (hold on, why didn't she U-Turn the hockey players then?  Oh, they did leave the chess thing before them, maybe she thought the Hockey Players were still ahead of them.)

-The country singers are not helping the reputation of blonds right now - they can't figure out what they need to do at the chess task, maybe we have to play chess and beat the masters?  Jennifer tries to ask one of the pieces to help them (they should go make soup.)
-Roller Moms were able to figure it out though and get the clue to the U-Turn.

-Hockey Brothers get to the U-Turn (where have you been?) and they see Meghan & Joey and Chuck & Wynona have been U-Turned, a little surprised but alright, they head for the Pit Stop.  They can't believe they weren't U-Turned but their pact came through.

-The Country Singers finally figured the Chess thing out - they just needed to place the pieces and get the right colours - they head out for the U-Turn.

-Max & Katie get to the U-turn, are fine with the choices and head for the Pit Stop.  Mona & Beth get their right behind them and while they feel bad for Joey & Meghan, they are really happy it wasn't them.

-Chuck & Wynona have finally arrived at the market and Wynona still has a bee in her bonnet about Chuck not listening (wait until you find out you need the chickens) - they get all their ingredients gathered.
-Joey & Meghan get to the temple and pick up their baskets and chickens, by the time they get to the market the ladies are old hat at this and just start filling their order - oh look, more people wanting the same stuff -the locals are laughing at Joey, the Westerner, selling chickens.

-Country Singers get to the U-Turn and are relieved that they were clear.

-Chuck & Wynona are getting their ingredients weighed and they are short on bean sprouts.
-Joey & Meghan are right behind them and they are light on a lot of the ingredients, and the lady gave them something they didn't need...
(Don't worry, Chuck & Wynona still have to do the other task, they just don't know it yet.)
-Wynona notices that Joey & Meghan have chickens - We need chickens! They have to go back to the temple and get their chickens - Chuck knows he screwed up and he's trying to placate her by offering to carry the baskets but she's having none of it - Just stop, you haven't listened once today.
-Meghan & Joey get the rest of their ingredients and make their soup - they get an enthusiastic thumbs up from the chef and they are still in it.
-Chuck & Wynona get back with their chickens and bean sprouts and are still bickering as they try to make the soup.

-Meghan & Joey are taken to the wrong place by their cab driver, that's not the B-52 memorial - they jump into another cab.

-Chuck & Wynona get the okay from the chef and Chuck says Mucho Gracias (Spanish? Really?) When they get to the U-Turn they feel crushed, Joey & Meghan U-Turned us? (I know! And you were in last place anyway...) 
-They just montaged them doing the chess. (Sadly)

Here's How They Finished:
1) Pam & Winnie - they won a trip to Whistler! (Welcome).  Phil asks if they are feeling confident.  Winnie says you never want to feel too confident because that's when you let your guard down, you can just ask John. (MEOW! Quite the dig when the guy's not even there anymore - ouch.)
2) Max & Katie (Horrible Honeymooners)- more smiles, they better be careful, their faces may freeze like that.
3) Mona & Beth (Roller moms) - very excited with their placing.
4) Bates & Anthony (Hockey brothers) their cab driver must have been slow, they lost two places every time they had to travel.
5) Caroline & Jennifer (Country Singers)
6) Joey & Meghan - (U-Turned U-Tubers) - Phil says he's sorry, they are at the back of the pack... but they are still in the race (he gave Joey a mild heart attack there) - Meghan says no more Mr & Mrs Nice Guy (oh we know you'll never be Mr & Mrs), she's a fiery ball of righteousness and vengeance will be hers!
7) Chuck & Wynona - Phil tells them they are the last team to arrive and they give their parting speeches - She feels like she's the weakest player but she's been doing it and Chuck says he's very proud of her... then Phil tells them that Dave & Connor had to withdraw from the Race so they are still IN The Amazing Race! (Yay!) Chuck says they are going to start fresh on this second chance and he's going to listen to her when she voices her opinion (ha ha, okay, I'll believe that when I see it - But I'm happy to still be in the pool.)

And so, the only team that left this leg was Dave & Connor which took Ozzy R, Lindsay J, Kelvin H, Patty F and Karen F out of the pool.

Next week: They head to Botswana and go on the hunt with Kalahari bushmen (like The Gods Must Be Crazy!) and they have to eat scorpions?( Maybe) Best line from Winnie, "This is like Sesame Street on crack." (Hahaha.)

Have a great week everyone,
Coleen.

No comments:

Post a Comment