Survivor One World - February 29, 2012 Episode Recap

One World Is Out the Window

The episode opened with the women returning from Tribal Council after voting out Nina because, let's be honest, she didn't fit esthetically with their tribe. 
-Alicia tells Kat not to cry at Tribal Council (she is definitely the ring leader) Kat semi indignantly whines - I didn't, I sucked it up. (Whatever.)
-Chelsea says they are just starting to gauge who's the weaker players, even within their alliance (get with the program lady) and all they need is a little confidence to turn things around.
-Kim & Chelsea are sitting around the fire and the wind is picking up when Colton & Jonas come over to ask if the women want to go to the men's shelter for the night - there was a "massive ass" storm coming in.  Running it by the other ladies they all say no, they'll tough it out...
-Cue the gale force winds..."Oh - mygod - it's freezing"... and then the rain started... "It's so cold."

Salani - Day 6
- touching piano music - We see abandoned sandals being rained on in the sand, a frying pan half full of water over a rained out fire pit, and all the women huddled together like broken dolls under their ramshackle shelter - sad hulk music - (Really? They signed up for this - come on!)
-Chelsea says they got no sleep, they're soaking wet and freezing and the fire went out so they haven't eaten (Isn't Kat the fire keeper?  Why wasn't she on the job?  Oh yeah, she's an idiot.)
-Some of the guys walk by and Chelsea calls out to them - Troyzan's over their like a shot (dirty old man) and she asks if they still have fire... of course they do... then she asks if they can go over and get warm and he says, "Sure, go on over there."
-You don't have to invite them twice - I actually think he was lucky not to be trampled in the stampede.
-Kim says she's glad they stuck to their guns through the night and didn't run over there but they were so miserable this morning she has no shame... though she doesn't want to make a habit of it, it was uncomfortable. (Ya think?)
-Matt (king of the world/frat boy lawyer... hmm, can you tell I'm not a fan?) was not amused - barely room for all the men in their shelter - no room for the women, this is done (he has decreed it.)

REWARD CHALLENGE (Oh, and it's still raining)
-One at a time tribe members will square off in a memory test.  They will observe a row of items and when they have it memorized, pull their lever dropping a curtain, then run over to their stations and re-create the series of items in the same order.  First person to get it right gets a point - first team to 5 points wins reward. 
Reward: fishing gear plus a canoe with paddles waiting back at camp
Men have to sit two guys: Tarzan and Leif (old guy and little person)
They start out having to memorize a series of 6 items
-Sabrina vs Matt - Sabrina wins the point
-Colton vs Monica - Monica gets them to 2
-Alicia vs Jay - Alicia wins it - women have 3
The women are proving more observant - they bump it up to 8 items in the series on the next round.
-Kat vs Troyzan - he doesn't even look just hits the lever... What?  They both get it wrong (of course)
re-rack and these two go again... they look a little longer... still they both get it wrong (uh oh, I see a pattern here... are they both too dumb for this one?)
-Finally - on their 7th try... Kat finally gets the order right and the women have 4 points.
-Christina vs Bill - Christina gets it right - And the WOMEN finally win something!  Reward... of gear they won't know how to use.
-But the win is the real prize - hopefully it'll give the women some momentum.

Salani - Day 6... it's still raining
-The women return to camp energized to get the shelter storm-proofed - Kat is ready to get the fire going... but the while the will is strong, the wind proves stronger and she can't get it going - she decides to go ask the men for an ember (I just - ugh.)
-Monica & Kat go ask and they men ask if they can take the canoe out sometime... Well we can't make a decision on our own... a little back and forth and one of the guys just gives it to them - they skedaddle right quick and King Matt says they have to stop giving them things if they're getting nothing in return.
-Surprisingly, Colton agrees with him - he says he loves some of those girls but he's a Republican, not a Democrat, "I do not believe in hand outs." (Hahaha...)
-The men are arguing about whether or not to help the women anymore when Chelsea and Alicia come shivering over to warm themselves by the fire - "Just give me 2 minutes to get warm and we'll be out of your way." Oh yeah, it's totally give them an inch and they're taking a mile... until it comes to sharing something of theirs - Alicia makes a comment about how cool their boat is and Jay says, "Yeah, we're planning on using it some time soon."
Alicia - Well, I don't know...
Jay - did you not just walk away with fire a while ago, are you not standing here right now...
Alicia - I can't just make a decision... we'll let them know that's what you want...
(Oh my Godipus!  The men should kick them out right now.)
-And they kinda do - Tarzan tells them to go back to their camp right now and come back with the consensus so they can clear this up right now.  And still she's pouty about it (Let-me-smack-her!)
-As soon as the girls leave the men are all just dumbfounded - What are they thinking?  Matt says they're just acting spoiled, "It's my stuff, where's my fire..." They just don't understand and Troyzan says maybe it's a man/woman thing, we just think different.
Colton - But I don't even understand it. (haha.)

-Chelsea lays it out for the women as the men saying they are taking the boat out right now so they better be okay with it.  "I just wanted to dry my hands out for 5 minutes and they were b*tching at me the whole time..."  She's ready to give them all the fishing gear and the boat for one night of sleep - she's losing it.  Oh, and my favourite from Kat, "We're girls, we're not meant. like, to be beaten down this well."  (ARRGHH!! Have any of you watched this show before EVER??? I hate them all.)

Salani - Day 8
-The weather is beautiful and Chelsea, Kim & Monica are out in the boat, learning how to spear fish and getting confident with their gear.  They each spear themselves a fish, they weren't big but they did it - the women say it's starting to feel different - they are getting their feet under them and settling in to being there... and it's not gone unnoticed by the men.
-Matt & Troyzan are over checking out the catch and congratulating them - Troyzan says the men have to win again.

IMMUNITY CHALLENGE
One person will be the caller and the rest will be blindfolded and tethered together in pairs.  Using only verbal commands the caller must guide them through a series of obstacles to the water tower: they have to pull the rope, get soaked and release a bag of puzzle pieces that they will then return to their mat.  There are five bags of puzzle pieces - once they retrieve them all, the caller will use the pieces to solve the wooden tree puzzle.  First team to finish will win Immunity.
Men sitting Colton & Jay. (And Alicia is starting to look like a cave woman - she's got to do something with that hair.)

Callers are: Bill & Sabrina - let the blind mice run... it's mayhem, as always with these blind things - Monica is gung-ho but she's on the men's course... how did that happen...
The guys are the first to get a bag of pieces.
Sabrina's so occupied trying to get Monica back on course that the rest of the girls are feeling their way by themselves...
-The men have 3 bags before the women finally stumble into one...
-The men have all 5 bags back and Bill gets started on the puzzle - the women still need 2 more bags.
-Bill's had quite the head start but Sabrina starts strong... and ties it up... and the WOMEN Win IMMUNITY!!! (I was shouting and clapping - okay, maybe I don't hate them as much as I thought. Yee, it was very exciting.)

Matt (king of the world) of course says he's looking forward to Tribal Council tonight, he's spent 8 days out there building up some power and he's ready to execute some of it - "Tonight, that's what's gonna happen."

Salani - Day 8
-The women are really happy with their win - and try not to rub it in as the men troupe by to their camp.  Chelsea said it was kinda funny, you could tell they thought they had it in the bag because they had such a lead - they're probably running around like chickens with their heads cut off right now, not knowing what to do.

Manono - Day 8
-They tell Bill he did a good job but that's not really how they feel - Colton says he's so glad to get rid of some of these people, he can't stand Bill who apparently uses lots of surfer speak - Bro, that's messed up, Brah... Colton calls him ghetto trash and he wants him gone - yesterday.
-The Misfit Toys alliance meets - Colton, Troyzan, Jonas, Leif and Tarzan and Colton tells them straight up this his their 5... Tarzan, "one one floater - Bill." Oh no, Colton says he's too wishy-washy.  Tarzan, rightly so, thinks Matt is the biggest threat and they should take him out (yes!) but Colton says Bill is the type to come up behind you and slit your throat, he's got to go first. (Hmm, seems to be little racist.  Bill is black by the way.)  They just haven't really shown enough of Bill for me to have any kind of opinion on him, except that they say he's a comedian and he doesn't appear to be funny at all.
-Jay moseys on over to see what everyone's chatting about... so of course they all clam up (yeah, that's not obvious)  Jay recognizes that there are 5 of them and his Frat Boy alliance is only 4 - quickly realizes if he's not in the alliance with the numbers he's in trouble so he says he'll vote with them (the model is no dummy) - Tarzan tells him they're thinking Bill right now but he thinks Matt would be the better choice... and Matt comes striding in to survey his subjects... and again they clam up.
Matt asks what's going on.
Tarzan - we're talking strategies - obviously.
Matt - and my being here has stopped that talk.
Colton - no...
Tarzan - to be honest, yes, right now. (Tarzan - SHUT UP!  Tarzan only good with fire & stick)

Matt doesn't like it when there is strategy talk that he's not involved in (without his permission I think he meant to say) but he leaves them to talk and pulls Troy aside afterward.
-In Matt's world - he and Troy have spent the past 9 days as the heads of two snakes - the Roosters (his guys) and the Average Joes - he tells Troy he sees him as a Rooster and wants him with them so they can be strong and defeat these chicks...Matt goes on to say to the camera something like after tribal council when they all see the power's back where it belongs, with him, things will settle down.
-During Matt's pitch Troy says -of course, you're right... But he tells the camera - Matt's just a jerk - I'm never going to be with him. "It ain't Survivor unless you're lying." (He says it with such glee, I think I've just become a Troy fan.)

Troy is talking to Colton & Jay down by the water and he tells them what Matt said, that he wants Troy, Mike, Jay & Jonas as an alliance with him and that is so dangerous to me dude.  He kept talking about them being the roosters and we the little people... Colton, "So you're saying we should get rid of Matt first." (Ding! By George, I think he's got it.)  Colton says he wants to get rid of Bill because he can't stand him but Matt is the head of the snake, you have to chop off the head to make the rest stop wriggling.

TRIBAL COUNCIL
Michael - with 9 guys, there has to be some sort of a power struggle, initially.
-The dynamics came together quite naturally - Matt & I clicked but there are a lot of different alliances in this tribe, it's hard to keep track of.
Tarzan (groan) so only 8 days in there are cracks within the tribe.
-They way I see it, we have an alliance of 5 and I trust those 5 (Colton wants to face palm but he covers as brushing his hair back... make the old man shut it!) we'll stick together, that's what I believe. (And I think Matt actually looks worried...)
So Colton, if there is an alliance of 5 that's strong, math says the other 4 are in trouble.
-Well I'm not uncomfortable, because I'm not going home tonight.
Why is that?
-Cause I have an idol. (Holy, I didn't see him spilling that...) the girls gave it to me. 
[Oh yeah, Matt & Mike are mad.]
So you're not going home because you're going to play it?
Yeah, I'm not going to be a James, go home for not playing it, that's stupid.
Michael, is the thought that an idol at camp is just too disruptive so let's throw some votes to just make sure to get it out.
-Yeah, that's on a lot of our minds (Really?  Did they know before just now?  What'd I miss?) Colton is Colton, he's been between two tribes, he's been sleeping over there, eating over there and then he has an idol on our side so it's just disrupted the whole game.
So Colton, you've been spending a lot of time with the women.
Well, yeeahh, that shouldn't be a shock.
Wait a second, why shouldn't that be a shock, you are on the men's tribe...
Because all my friends at home are girls
But you're on the men's tribe - so it's a reverse duh-double-dog dare on you...
Women are more nurturing and they pet you and tell you everything's going to be okay...
Do you know what kind of target you put on your back when you say that?
Yeah but, that doesn't mean I'm going to vote with those women.
Bill, explain to me how this makes sense.
As much as he assumed we spot-on judged him, he spot-on judged us and assumed that we wouldn't take him in...
You mean because he's gay?
Yeah. SHRUG (it was a huge shrug.)  Colton tries to pretend that didn't bother him, looking at his nails.
Tarzan raises his hand - Here's what we've discovered, Colton is highly intelligent, he's invaluable in knowing how this game is played and he already has allegiances with girls over there so when we merge he's set.  If we value our survival, we need him...
Matt does not like the way this is going and pipes up, "Who's 'We' Tarzan?"
-Well uuhhh, I'm using 'we' in the general sense, I'm trying to defend Colton's status because I think we'll prosper if he stays here a bit longer.
And Matt, you're not buying it.
I think Tarzan's put out a cry for help (WHAT?) to the 5 guys in his alliance - I think he's shivering in his boots over here and I want him to stop talking in general terms and talk turkey (who's shivering in their boots?  It that the best you got rooster-man?)
Tarzan - You're absolutely wrong.  That is not the motive behind what I'm saying.
Matt - I'm not buying it.
Tarzan - My heart is broken that he misinterprets me.
Matt, are you enjoying this game? Cause you seem a little agitated.
-Yeah some of the things that have been said here have agitated me.  Tarzan's always talking and everyone laughs at Tarzan but you don't know how much you can take seriously.  I'm more of the type of guy that when I speak I want people to listen and take me seriously.
Do you think people take you seriously?
I do. (There is no other way to take him.)
How will tonight's vote change this game for you? (Hopefully it ends it for him.)
Well, we all get one chance to make the move that sets the ball in motion, and that's tonight.  You always have to be ready to reassess - blah, blah...blah.
Bill, how worried are you that tonight's vote will not go the way you want it go?
-It's all fun and games until you're right here, right now, I mean, this is intense... (did he find something growing in the jungle? He's too hyper) I mean, I'm on the edge of my seat, I'm so jacked up right now. (Colton is shaking his head, his face says he cannot believe Bill's such an idiot.) I may go home, I might not, but I am so happy I got to play this game, man, I mean, I'm so ready to do this.
Uh, okay, with that, it's time to vote.

Tallying the votes:
Colton does not play his idol... (I knew it.)
Colton - 1
Bill - 1
Matt - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 - (his mouth was so tight by the 5th vote) MATT is the first man voted out and, oh, he so deserved it!  And with the King of the Roosters leaving Sharleen H, Robert L. and Bob L. are also out of the pool.

Tarzan raises his hand and asks Jeff if they can hear the last two votes.
No.
Colton - Leave those questions to me.

Next week it looks like the men are bringing the DRAMA!  Tarzan announces Troy's betrayal, Colton wants Bill's head on a platter - Jonas, "What's going on?"  Hahaha - it looks awesome.

Matt was the most humble he's ever been in his closing statement - but he still spun it - I was probably enemy number one and that spelled my disaster. 
(Everyone voted for Matt except Matt & Michael who were the two votes for Colton & Bill.)
All I can say to Matt's leaving is - B-bye, don't let the hut door hit you on the way out.


Have a week,

Coleen

The Amazing Race 20 - February 26/12 Episode Recap

You Know I'm Not as Smart as You (Buenos Aries, Argentina)

2nd leg, here we go - the teams are still in Argentina and Rachel & Dave are the first to get the clue to drive themselves to the town square and wait for the chasqui (mounted postman) to get their next clue.  They head out at 2:46am...
-Brendan & Rachel are the next out minutes later, she admits that the Race is tougher than Big Brother.
-The Border agents are next to leave at 2:49am - they stop to ask someone what a chasqui is and end up with Brendan & Rachel following them - JJ grouses that Brendan never makes a decision - he'll just follow us. (No love lost between these teams.) 
But it really doesn't matter because when Rachel & Dave get to the town square they are told the chasqui won't arrive until dawn... so they have some waiting for the other teams to catch up to do.
-Nary & Jamie are the next out at 3:21am - they are federal agents but have lied about what they do to the other teams - they've told them all they're schoolteachers so they won't be targeted as threats. (Again, these two strike me as a little too cocky... we'll see if it comes back to bite them.)
-The rest of the teams are all heading out to meet up in the town square... with the stray dogs.
-One thing we learn is that the boy clown, Dave, has battled Hodgkin's disease and beat it twice, he's been cancer free since 2001 - happy dance. (Could be why he can't run worth beans, just saying.)
-I am loving Mark & Bopper - they're happy as long as there is one team behind them - and they have no idea how to pronounce c-h-a-s-q-u-i, let alone know what it is.  Mark, "We speak country, no other kinda language."

Sunrises and the poor chasqui is swarmed by grabby Americans - Mark is taller and gets the clue first - it is a Detour - Boil my Water, or Light my Fire.
-In Boil my Water: the teams have to drive to one of three local villages and assemble a solar kitchen for the locals.  Once at the village, they will retrieve a crate from a pick-up truck, assemble the solar paneled (old school satellite dish looking) "kitchen", then place the "kitchen" in direct sunlight and wait for a kettle to boil - whistle and all.  Once the water boils, they'll get their next clue.
-In Light my Fire: teams must gather firewood and clay from the river bed, then load it on a donkey and transport it one mile to a local potters workshop - once they deliver the goods, they'll receive their next clue.
-Meanwhile, the grabby hands are still trying to all get the clue - JJ & Art are liking Brendon even less when he snatches their clue.
-Everyone decides to do Boil my Water, except the border agents who are going to Light my Fire (Come on baby... get it?) Art thinks building the oven then waiting for water to boil will take forever, the suns not even up yet. (Smrt.)
-So, first 5 teams to the first location get their crates and start assembling the solar panels (except the clowns who can't figure out the pictures are on the box...) - but this "village" is in a valley and the suns not over the hill yet... Uh oh.
-The next 3 teams get to the next "village" and can't figure out where the Border Agents are going (the wood gathering has to be a mile away) these teams start assembling.
-Last two teams, Bopper and Big Brother get to the last village and they get started too. 
-Dave & Rachel are bickering over the assembling - the clowns are doing it blind and are going to peak at others - the Guidos are trying to out do the girls - Mark is shocking Bopper with his assembling skills (his son likes Legos) and Rachel apologizes to Brendon for just being a girl (Really? sometimes I wish I could smack people through the TV.)
-Art & JJ are lost - they stop to ask directions to the wood gathering and find out it's 8kms away - (dang it!) they're way behind but still want to try and find this task before giving in to the solar panels.  JJ is fixating on the time and Art tells him relax... they find it!  And they vow to make up time - start gathering wood with some giddy up - JJ is still grumbling to himself, "I can't believe we're this far behind, we're so much smarter than that." (Smack #2)
-Back at solar panel land - Mark & Bopper are putting their water on but they show a pile of screws they didn't use (Oh, that's not good.)
-The Guidos can't figure out where a part goes and they ask Kerri & Stacey who gladly tell them where it goes... then realize, oh, we just really helped them (it's hard not to be helpful...)
-The clowns run over to Dave & Rachel to "peek" at their structure when Rachel clues them in, "There's a picture on the box." "Oh, thank you." (I love the clown sounds they put in.)

And now we're waiting for pots to boil... Oh, that would be so frustrating.

-Mark & Bopper are the first team to have their kettle whistle - they get the clue to travel by bus to Buenos Aries and get the next clue.
-Art & JJ come trudging into the village, dragging the donkey and are heartened to see the teams are still there - Art, "I told you boiling water is a pain in the *ss in a solar oven."  They deliver the wood and clay and are the 2nd team to get the clue. But is JJ happy... Yes! "That is unbelievable, we made up 40 minutes!"

Water is now boiling all over and everyone is driving to the bus station... except the federal agents - they are the last team to have their water boil (Race karma for the teacher lie perhaps?)

-The 4 teams on the first bus are JJ & Art, Dave & Rachel, Brendon & Rachel and Mark & Bopper - they have an 18 hour bus ride... with Bopper.
-The second bus has the Clowns, the Guidos, Vanessa & Ralph and the Twins (yum.)
-Which leaves the all-girl teams of the Federal Agents and the Cousins on the last bus.. Nary says they're just going to hope their bus breaks down.

-Next scene -we hear a smash and the 2nd bus is pulled over to the side of the road... (Wha?... She should use her power for Good.) A window has been smashed in and they're covering it with tape & plastic... meanwhile, the 3rd bus passes them.

-The first bus arrives in Buenos Aries and the teams grab cabs and head out for the clue box - Dave & Rachel are the first team to get the clue for the Roadblock: Where's the Beef?  OMG! There is math involved.  They will go to a cattle auction and when the auctioneer calls out the total weight of the cows in a specific corral, they must divide it by the number of cows and come up with the correct average weight per head before the auctioneer moves on to get the next corral. (Holy division Batman - I would be praying every pen had 10 cows :))  Rachel is going to do it for them, she can't use a calculator. 
-Here we go, he makes sure he's very clear with the total weight then the auction goes on around her and they are shouting numbers as she's trying to do math... I'm not going to lie, this would be hard.
-3 more teams get to the clue - JJ, Big Brother (BB) Rachel and Mark (Kentucky) are going to do it...
-Rachel is fighting her way down to the gauchos to make her guess but she's wrong - so back up she goes and she and JJ decide to team up... I thought BB Rachel was going to try and eavesdrop but she's just clueless. 
-Mark is supposed to be good at figurin' and he used to dealing with livestock... but his first guess is wrong (wha wha..)

-The second bus has arrived with the Federal Agents and the Mississippi Cousins - they think they're the last teams so they're hustling.  The third bus was delayed about 2 hours because of the broken window so those teams are screwed... or are they?  The cow auction could take a long time.

-JJ and Rachel, by working together are the first two teams to figure out the correct weight of a corral of cows - they get the clue to take a taxi to the Pit Stop - El Gomero - a 200yr old rubber tree.  The last team to check in MAY be eliminated.
-In the taxi JJ says he doesn't mind helping out Dave & Rachel because they reciprocate but Big Brother - they're just tag-alongs. I'm not sure if he's saying they have nothing to offer in return or that they would expect help but not give it back... either way, he has no problem not helping them out.
-BB Rachel is starting to meltdown - Brendon tells her to work with Mark - she yells she's not good at math but Mark says he is... we'll see if she's any help to him.

-The federal agents get to the clue box with the Mississippi girls right behind them - Nary and Stacey (I think) will be doing the math.

-Mark figures out the average weight by finally rounding the number up - dang!  He's beating himself up for not rounding the number... they grab a cab and go. 
-Brendon & Rachel (because they were 'working' together) also got the clue but she's all weepy and whiny - "I'm sorry.  You know I'm not as smart as you..." Then they're cab left and he kinda blames her... and then the waterworks really begin (smack #3)

-The third bus has finally arrived in Buenos Aries and those 4 teams realize they are probably only in competition with each other now being delayed so much.

-Nary & Stacy are still at the cow auction... but they both work it out individually - way to go ladies.

-The last 4 teams get the clue and head to the cow auction - short haired twin is doing it and apparently he's better at math - one of the Guidos "The Fitness" is that what he calls himself? is trying to count the cows - Vanessa is apparently 'god-awful' at math and she's got to do it and Dave the clown is also not a math wizard... it's going to be a long day.
-Vanessa is able to tune out the men and she's the first one to get the right answer.
-The clown can't remember how to do division and he shares that with the twin... who then uses it against him, teams up with the Guido and they figure out the correct answer ensuring one team is left behind them.  (I guess it's good strategy, but it put a bad taste in my mouth, I don't find the twins so yummy anymore.)

Here's How They Finished:
1) Dave & Rachel (again) - they won a trip to Granada. Rachel feels like they have a target on their back coming in first twice in a row, but she's glad they have the Express Pass cushion.
2) Art & JJ - Come ON man! - JJ is so competitive, he wanted to be first.
3) Mark & Bopper - Woohoo!  I'm liking the Kentucky boys.
4) Brendon & Rachel - they got into it a little - she thinks they have to work on communication.
5) Kerri & Stacy - Phil let's them know that the 2nd bus broke down so they are team #5 - they scream and do a little cheer, "You're awesome, awesome."
6) Nary & Jamie - Phil strings them along, you were on the last bus... but the other one broke down - you're team #6!  More screaming.
7) Vanessa & Ralph - she figured it right, they were 7th.
8) Joey "Fitness" & Danny - they're glad to be still in it.
9) Elliot & Andrew - Andrew is super excited to meet the legendary soccer player standing with Phil.. Who?  They do some dribbling.
10) Cherie & Dave - They are so cute and positive but they are still **ELIMINATED** - he's just so thankful and they feel lucky to have each other and are proud they didn't give up.  They still have each other so they really haven't lost.  (Aww.)  They put on noses and clown off into the sunset.

So, with Cherie & Dave leaving we have broken Kelvin H's three season winning streak, and leaving the pool with him are Shelly P, Hardeep & Michele (ouch, out of both pools so soon), Rachel R. and Karen S. 

Next week we're going to see some fireworks - or at least tempers flaring with the twins, Dave & Rachel and there is a cat-scrap brewing between BB Rachel & Vanessa...

Have a great week everyone,

Coleen

Survivor One World - February 22/12 Episode Recap

Total Dysfunction

The episode opened with the women returning to camp after Christina & Alicia got into it for no reason because Kourtney had broken her wrist and wouldn't be continuing in the game.  (I can't help it, Alicia was trying to make trouble and Christina lost her cool - it wasn't smart but I loved it!  Tell her to "Shut UP!" again!)

Salani - Night 3

As the women return, there is Frat boy/banker Mike wanting to know what happened... oh, he said he was taking care of their fire for them first which seemed to just piss Kat off, "I'm the fire person, I could have gotten it started again." (Suuuure you could... well maybe she could but screaming when a bee came near her during her interview didn't instill that confidence in me.)

Oh, and Mike, upon hearing that they didn't have to vote anyone else out because Kourtney wouldn't be coming back was annoyed - he had hoped they'd be down two people instead (because that would be easier for them - grr, I don't like the smarmy Mike.)

Christina approaches Alicia to try and clear the air between them but she really shouldn't have bothered.  Alicia tells the camera she got exactly what she wanted, having Christina lose her cool and make herself look crazy.  So, Christina apologizes for speaking that way to Alicia who "would never say anything like that to you" and she really doesn't care (Alicia is a mean girl and I hope she is gone soon or I won't be nice with what I say about her...) but they make nice for now [fake hugs].
Alicia has her 5, the pretty popular girls and she's ready to gas the old bags - "Nina looks like a bag of rocks and I don't even know what that means." (Oh, I hate her.)

Salani - Day 4

The women have a morning meeting that Sabrina seems to be leading - they want no BS, let everyone get straight to the point and everyone will be heard.  Then they decide they should elect a leader and the 'girls' nominate Sabrina - the hot older lady with the dark hair (Monica) doesn't look too happy about it - Sabrina, reluctantly agrees to take on a leadership role.  She tells the camera managing the airheads is going to be exhausting but hopefully she can basically get them to shut up.
-First thing they try to get people set on tasks, water, food, shelter - Monica volunteers for water all day and Kat balks at the first thing she's asked to do ... yup, it's going to be like herding cats.

-Nina sees the immediate age division among the women - it's the 5 younger girls together and the 3 older women on the outs.  Kat's immaturity is driving her nuts, she just wants her to shut up and work.  (I think all the older women are constantly chanting Shut Up all day long - just a guess.)

Tree mail - They have a big box and an envelope that they are told to take to a neutral location and only open when everyone is gathered.
-ARGGHH, MY EYES!  Is Tarzan wearing a speedo? Oh good gawd! WHY?
The envelope tells them it's a Do It Yourself reward challenge - inside the box is a ring tied up in a series of knots - the first team to untie all the knots and free the ring wins the reward of a TARP!  Oh, and they get to keep the boxes and rope to use for whatever they want.
I see Alicia & Kat being no help on this one since they were already complaining about knots and their fingers hurting.
-The men sit frat boy/banker Mike and they get started... Oh, and Tarzan is wearing briefs, I'm just glad it's not a thong... then he makes a 'Jazz fingers' comment about Colton (dude, you're the one who's nearly naked... really?) Pretty Jay looked disgusted by Tarzan. 
-Anyway - off they go - it was like a knotted up octopus - arms of knotted rope coming off the ball of knots around the center ring - but it starts going pretty fast - the women look to be leading but then the men turn it on and are the first to free their ring.  Damn!
-Sabrina said the loss hurt her soul.  They needed that tarp "like a fat kid needs cake." (Ha!)  And I think this may be a new Reality Show staple line, "No one remembers second place." (I think someone said that on the Amazing Race the other day to.)

Manono- Day 4
The men return the conquering heroes and they all get to work making theirs the 'best camp in history' - oh everyone except Colton, who is doing a lot of pouting and eye rolling but no work.  All the guys notice, Mike says Colton thinks he's on vacation - he calls himself the queen of our tribe - what is he thinking?
-Jonas says Colton's working the girls, he's got them all in the palm of his hand - he's making Russell look like a little schoolgirl. (Ah, I wouldn't go that far - but points for hyperbole.)

Salani - Day 4
The women are also working on their shelter - it looks pretty low - lots of fronds piled on some sticks... hmm.  Colton is over there helping them - he has nothing in common with the men except their extra appendage (uhhum) and he's more comfortable with the women.  Sabrina is trying to encourage him to try and bond with the guys and all the girls just want him to go back to the boys camp - he may find it a release to be at the girls camp but they see him as an interloper - finally Sabrina realizes he's a virus.  She just asks him why he's still there and tells him he has to leave so they can have a meeting... He's the guest who would not leave! 
-He asks if he can come back later and pouts off by himself - seriously?  What is this guys game?

-A little while later he is back and he calls his own meeting gathering all the women together to beg them to let him stay with them instead of the men - he gets teary and says he doesn't care about the game... Sabrina's had enough of him, says the more he hangs around the more he becomes a jerk.
-I think it's Kim that says it straight - we are two tribes, you are from the other tribe and always hanging around here seeing and hearing everything we're doing - it would be a dumb move on our part to let it continue.  It's not an option for us to have you here all the time, we just can't.
-Sabrina says, if he's running the show and we lose this game, I'm just going to slit my wrists.

Manono - Night 4
The men are around the fire and chanting Tarzan! Tarzan! so he does a little warrior dance in his tiny briefs... I feel Colton's pain.  He realizes he's got to regroup and play the game how it's set out so he waits until most of the guys are bedded down and then shows Troyzan (the other old guy), Leif (the little person) and Jonas (my sushi chef) that he has a hidden immunity idol and he's going to play it at the next tribal council so he's not going home.  Troy is blown away - they have to get rid of the muscle, meaning Mike or Matt (frat boy banker & lawyer - yes please!)  They are giddy - Leif is the voice of reason - there is no more talk of this!  (We'll see if that happens.)
-Jonas says Colton went from the first guy to be voted out to the ring leader - he knew he was freakishly smart (you did not!)   They are the misfit alliance and Colton is their king!

Day 5 - Immunity Challenge

Two platforms out in the water connected by narrow balance beams - the tribe members will be spread out on the balance beams and will have to move one person at a time around the other people to reach their platform - if they fall in, they start over, if they touch two people at a time they have to jump in and start over - first team to get all their members to their platform wins Immunity.
-The men sit out Tarzan - hmm, I think I would have sat Leif, but he goes first and after having to jump in for touching two people at once, he figures it out and breezes past the women.
-The women have boobs - I think that's what it comes down to - we are reluctant to go chest to chest (I'm just saying - I get it.)  Kat starts going behind the girls but Christina proves a problem in that she keeps touching more than one person and Kat has to keep starting over...
-Colton is annoyed at Leif trying to tell him how to do it - he makes it across pretty quickly.
-Kat knocks Christina in the water then jumps in after her - but she didn't need to - yeah, these rules are comfusing for her.
-The men have 3 across before the women even get one across - the women try to change up who starts - Christina tries it but has to go back so Monica steps up but she falls in and Kat jumps in again for no reason - Nina sums it up (about Kat), "dumb as a rock."
-The men now have 5 of their guys done and the women finally get one woman across them...
-The Men win immunity - in a LANDSLIDE victory.  Monica is understandably embarrassed and I agree - the women's tribe is not representing well for our sex as a whole.

Salani - Day 5
-Women's team meeting - Kat apologizes for not having good communication skills but she wanted to step up and prove she could do it - it was just so hard... they basically tell her, they love her rah rah attitude but she needs to listen for the strategy [coming from the smarter people on the team].
-Sabrina likes Kat's energy but it needs to be channeled better - Nina, on the other hand, is like the walking dead around camp - she knows her head's on the block.
-Nina is disgusted with the nice-nice talk - Kat, you jumped in the water twice, you dumb blond, inexcusable. (I think if Nina and Colton could switch tribes they'd both be happier... just saying.)

-Nina & Monica go for water and Nina is venting about Kat, says she's voting for her because she can't stand her.  Monica has a cooler head, she knows the 3 older ladies are on the outs and she also knows approaching the 5 about voting out Kat would be a sure ticket home - she hopes they open their eyes on their own but you never know with this group.

-Nina whispers to Chelsea by the fire that they need to get rid of Kat, I know she's fun but she's an idiot, how can we out-wit when we're witless.  Chelsea agrees that it's been embarrassing - Nina, then let's fix it!  (Hmm, Chelsea seems receptive... let's see.)
-Chelsea goes to Kim and tells her she agrees with Nina, that Kat makes them all look bad and Nina deserves to be there more... Kim agrees as well BUT they need the girls to trust them and going against their alliance so soon would not be a good idea in the long run. (Yup, they're going to vote out the unattractive woman first - sad.)

TRIBAL COUNCIL

Jeff tells them they are off to one of the worst starts in Survivor history (oh, don't sugar coat it Jeff.)
Kim, what do you bring into this game, what could help from your life?
-I think I'm a good communicator and that's something we need but I don't feel like there is a place for my voice yet (okay, she was wearing mascara and they must let them brush their teeth.)
Jeff says it's like talking to a bunch of sixth graders - if you had a bunch of people and you had to figure something out, what is one thing you might do?  You might talk about what you know... I can't believe this hasn't happened yet, Nina.
-Well, a lot of that information hasn't gotten out because we're still a divided tribe, there's 5 against 3.
[And they list the younger girls against the older girls.]
Do they know your background?
-I have shared with some by experience as a police officer in LA for thirteen years that makes me good under pressure and physical.  I'd like to know what Kat brings to this group.
They all look at her and she's silent...
Kat?
-I mean, I'm outdoors and I do sales and I work with people all the time...
And it's fair to say you're young, your life experience is limited...
-I'm young and I've never done this before...
Nina - I'm old, and I've never done this before either.
Kat - pft [whatever] - I'm young and at the challenge today I was so excited and you never want to let your tribe down but I did.
Nina, you look like you're about to burst.
-Well, Kat is always telling us what a great athlete she is but as far as I'm concerned a great athlete is made up of three things, athletic ability, the ability to handle pressure and to be smart (okay, now she's just coming off as an old codger) so today, not only did she jump in the water once, she did it twice and the only distracting voice I heard up there was hers - is she an athlete, I don't know. (That speech didn't make her any friends - she just kicked bambi.)
Kim, is part of what's going on is that there was an alliance formed?
-I think that's part of it - she basically says it's between Nina and Kat and they have been weighing what both bring to the tribe today.
Chelsea, if you could start over, do you think you'd form difference alliances?
Yeah, it'd probably be different.  (They all let the loud mouth Alicia steam roll them on day one)
Sabrina, do you agree with that?
Yes. 100% (And why has no one brought up the fact that they made Sabrina leader - she's been smart in keeping that quiet from the Jeffster.)
Alicia, there has been no girl-power going on.  No young girls at home saying Go, women's tribe.  Is that embarrassing?  (I say YES!)
-It's very embarrassing - Especially in that challenge, Monica figured it out but because everyone was talking we couldn't hear Monica's suggestion.
Kat - It was my fault.
You keep saying that - do you really believe it or are you just being a martyr? (Oh Jeff, your using the big words.)
- I think I do, it sucks. (You THINK you do? pft.) Oh, and she brushes away a tear.
What's upsetting you? (Who cares, let's vote!)
-Um, my communication skills, I guess.  And, failing - I never fail. [Blah blah blah] - they should keep me around so I can prove I'm learning and, not to call anyone out but, Christina doesn't want to play the game...
Christina, she just threw you under the bus.
-blah, blah, blah - take it in, move on.
Sabrina - see, this is how men and women are differnet - a man would call another man out, they'd deal with it - women let it cause a rift but say everything's fine.
Nina, does this give you hope that now Christina's in the mix to go home instead of you?
-Absolutely - then bullet points her attributes again. (Can you tell I'm sick of this? - let's move it along Jeff.)

Oh, and he does - time to vote:
Kat - votes Nina - she says to the camera, "I think you're a really strong competitor but I'd never throw you under the bus the way you did me."  (WHAT?  You mean the way you did Christina? Just a minute ago?)
Nina - votes Kat - enough shenanigans, time for you to leave. (I love that she used shenanigans, way to fit in with the young crowd.)

Tallying the votes:
No one has a hidden immunity idol.
Nina - 1
Kat - 1
Kristina - 1
Nina - 2, 3, 4... I can't say I'm surprised they gassed the non-pretty chick - this tribe was not picked for their brains.
And with Nina leaving so soon - Virginia D, Roxanne S and Janine S are out of the pool... sorry ladies, bad luck of the draw.

Next week: the rain starts, the women's fire goes out and they are begging the men for fire again - and there are tears... sigh.

Nina's bitter rant: I think they made a huge mistake voting me out - not only is Kat young, she's very immature and she's destroying the tribe.  I think the men are going to take them apart piece by piece.

So, there you have it, another demoralizing week for womankind on Survivor.

Coleen.

The Amazing Race 20 - Feb 19/12 Premiere Episode Recap

The Tears of a Clown

The 20th edition of the Amazing Race opened on the beautiful Santa Barbara, CA wine country - the 11 teams on this race around the world come into view on bicycles riding to the starting point - Phil Kheogan pulls out in front and leads them to the start and we meet them:

Dave & Cherie - married clowns from Tampa, FL - they believe in what goes around comes around and hope the good Karma they've built up through clowning will come around to them on the Race.

Bopper & Mark - lifetime friends from Kentucky - they're from the other side of the tracks and ain't got nothing - they are in it for the money (I hear banjos whenever Bopper talks.)

Misa & Maiya - sisters from San Diego, CA - they are golfers (one professional) and beautiful girls but they say there will be no crying - they know what it takes to win the Race.

Brendan & Rachel - recently engaged from Los Angeles, CA- they met on Big Brother (one reality show I never watch) apparently she won... when he said we won, she made sure to correct him. She also busted out the reality star staple... We're not here to make friends, we're here to win a million dollars.

Joey 'Fitness' & Danny - best friends from Long Island, NY - they live the guido lifestyle - the hair, the muscles, the tattoos... gag me.

Nary & Jamie - federal agents from Los Angeles, CA - chicks with big guns... watch out.  They say being in a male dominated field they have to be tougher than the average person - doing this race will be cake to us. (Uh oh, cocky is never good to start out.)

Rachel & Dave - married 2 years from Madison, Wi - he's a major in the army and recently spent a year in Iraq - they changed a lot in that time and hope to reconnect on the Race (oh, and she has the hugest forehead - I'd even call it a fivehead.)

Elliot & Andrew - twin brothers from Scotsdale, Az - (um, yum!) Long hair is a musician, short hair is a professional soccer player - "We've gone our separate ways but we're twins - we're like life partners but we're not gay." "You can't say that dude." And then they laugh...(sigh.)

Kerri & Stacy - cousins from Mississippi - they try to say they're country girls, they like make up and hair but aren't afraid to get dirty - then they scream when a chicken flaps it's wings near them (uh, yup, country girls alright.)

Vanessa & Ralph - dating divorcees from San Antonio,Tx - she stalked him for years, both were previously married to other people and are going to keep the racing to around the world, not down the aisle.

Art & JJ - border patrol agents from Southern California - patrol the CA coastline - show them on ATV's on the sand, dramatic stop for the camera and they run into each other (Ha!)  JJ says, it's like beauty and the beast and he thinks he's the beauty. (This is my team in the pool - let's go boys!)

Without further ado, they are off the bikes and dressed in their regular clothes - Phil tells them the winner of the first leg will win an Express Pass that they can use at any time before or during a challenge they don't want to complete up until the 8th leg.  Their first clue is up in the air, literally.  Behind them is a hilly vineyard with 100 small hot air balloons floating above it.  They have to race among the grapevines pulling down the balloons and looking for a clue in the baskets beneath them - only 11 balloons have clues.  Once they find a clue the teams will use a marked Ford Taurus to head to their next destination (I'm guessing the airport :)

Off they go - everybody's pulling down balloons before the clowns even get to the field (hmm, not much running in clown-town?)  The twins Elliot & Andrew are the first to find a clue - Vanessa & Ralph are next and she's gasping, it's grueling running up that hill - the Guidos are the next to find the clue, then the Country cousins... The clue tells them to fly to Santa Barbara (uh, I thought they were in Santa Barbara?)

Once in the car, Phil comes on the nav-system and tells them they are flying to Santa Barbara, Argentina! (oooh!)  Only the first six teams will get on the first connecting flight to Salta (closest airport to Santa Barbara) they will have a 2 1/2 hour lead on the other 5 teams.

The rest of the teams are finding clues until it's down to Bopper & Mark - Mark feels like he's going to throw up so Bopper tells him to throw up then and let's go -  and the sisters Misa & Maiya, also finding the hills a killer but hoping they can find a clue before the last team... they don't.  Bopper is so loud, "Show them what country boys is all about?" Mark, "Just calm down."
In the car Mark is hanging his head out the window, "Baking like a soupman(?) in a pot of taters, pull it over I'm gonna be sick." Bopper says they're racing for a million dollars he ain't pulling over to be sick - so Mark just hangs it out the window... Bopper, "When you got loot on the line like this baby, ya pee your pants if ya have to."

1hr 45min in, Misa & Maiya finally find the last clue.... but they'll be with 4 other teams on the flight to Argentina. 

6 teams on the first connection are: Elliot & Andrew, Brendan & Rachel, Nary & Jamie, Art & JJ, Rachel & Dave and Vanessa & Ralph.  When they land, they have to drive themselves to the town of Santa Barbara to get their next clue.
They hit the ground running - Art & JJ are currently first (Woo! my guys) they say it's better than currently last... and we cut to the 5 teams on the 2nd flight - Bopper & Mark lay it out, with them are the hawaiian girls (Misa & Maiya), the Jersey boys (guidos), the clowns and the girls from Mississippi - with the badonka-donk... (oh, boys.)

The first six teams make it to Santa Barbara and get the clue telling them to go to an airfield to get the next clue - meanwhile the second group has landed and are heading out for Santa Barbara - the clowns are in last place, seems Dave isn't good with a manual transmission and they lose sight of the pack - Cherie is quietly panicking and crying - spawing the title of the episode, Tears of a Clown.

At the airfield Art & JJ are the first to get the clue to the Roadblock, "Who's got a great sense of direction?"  Art says he'll do it, then they read the clue - the person who said they'd do the challenge has to use a map to find their partner after the partner HAS JUMPED OUT OF AN AIRPLANE! (What! Haha, that's hilarious... and mean - the person not doing the "challenge" has to do the scary part... this should be interesting.)  JJ is the first person NOT happy about this.
Brendan & Rachel are next - they say Brendan's got the sense of direction... so she's jumping.
Rachel & Dave also elect Dave as having the sense of direction and he's bummed that she gets to jump out of the plane.  He totally wanted to skydive in Argentina (too bad, because so did she.)
Nary & Jamie - Jamie says she'll do it so Nary is skydiving.
Vanessa & Ralph - they say he's got the sense of direction and she is excited to be jumping.
Lastly it's the twins - and I still don't know who's who - does it matter?

JJ is getting suited up and he's not taking any pleasure in this - he doesn't like heights, feels like you're playing with death. (JJ is a little dramatic.)
Dave & Art form an interagency alliance between the border patrol & the army and confer on where they need to go to find the landing site.  Once the plane is up in the air they can head out - and they all find the landing zone easily and wait for the jumping to begin.

Back on the plane - JJ is the first to go - he is thanking God when the parachute opens.  All the girls are coming next and they all seem to be having a great time.  It's phenomenal.  They have to run through some sand to meet up with their partners but they all get the clue to head out for their next location.

The second wave of racers have arrived in Santa Barbara and get the clue to head to the airfield.  One of the cousins with the badonka donk is already worried, she's deathly afraid of heights.

Oh, the long haired twin is Elliot.  They are still jumping excitedly out of the airplane.  Vanessa says her uterus is in her throat after jumping... (I like her.)

Back at the airfield, Red-neck Bopper says he's got the sense of direction so poor, quiet, puking Mark has to jump out of the airplane (I already feel so sorry for that guy, his partner is crazy.)  And, of course, the girl who is deathly afraid of heights(Stacy), is the one jumping out of the plane....
-The plane goes up and everyone seems excited except Stacy.
-The partners head out on the road and Bopper drops his front teeth out to the camera (HA! He's got false teeth - that one's for my brother Jeff :).
-Guido Danny can't drive a stick-shift... really?  Have you never seen the race before?  I can't drive stick either, but if I were going on the Race, I would learn.  He knew he should, but didn't bother (yeah, I could see the last of these guys no problem.)

The border patrol (Art & JJ) and Brendan & Rachel are the first teams to arrive at the next location and Brendan says he's half Mexican, he hates the border patrol for a reason... wow, early animosity, I think it's the adrenaline pumping - they get the clue to compete in an Empanada contest - they have to make 120 empanada's - 60 meat filled and 60 cheese filled.  They must watch a demonstration and figure out that there are specific crimping patterns for the edges and they're different depending on the filling.  Once the empanada lady is satisfied with their food, they can race to the Pit Stop (there on the grounds) the first team will win the Express Pass, the last team will be eliminated.

Art & JJ watch the ladies making the empanadas for a minute then take off to get started (noo..)
Brendan & Rachel take a bit more time and she figures out the crimping is different (yes, my guys are dumb.)  Dave & Rachel (5head) get there and see the crimping difference too.

Back up in the air - the next 5 teams are jumping out of the airplane - Mark, Danny and Misa - she said she loved the floating feeling, it was a once in a lifetime opportunity she'd never forget.

Back at empanada-ville - the judge tells Art & JJ - "No" they run back to the demo and realize they have to be different (Whoops!)  They're finding filling dough frustrating, they know how to grill a steak.
Ralph & Vanessa are just hungry - he wants to eat so bad, she says, "No joke, I just want to rub my face in this."

Back up in the sky, Stacy is freaking out about having to jump out of the plane - but their teammates are having trouble on the ground - guido keeps stalling the car and Maiya pulls over at the wrong spot and gets her car stuck in loose sand...
Mark is landing and he feels sick... again(I think he has motion sickness issues, which should be fun on the race.)  Joey "fitness" and Misa come in for hard landings but all is well.  Stacey is still in the plane... she realizes she has to do this for her kids or they'll think it's okay to run away from your fears (whatever gets you out the door.)  Once she jumped she said, "it felt so good, it was liberating... but - I'll never jump out of a plane again."

Misa gets help from passersby to get her truck out of the sand - but she is the last one to get to the drop zone.

At the empanada contest the teams are starting to finish up and are asking for the judge to take a look - she rejects Brendan & Rachel's - on to Art & JJ - nope, not twisty enough - "She was like the empanada nazi."  Dave & Rachel (5head) are the first to get the thumbs up and they run out to the lawn where...

Here's how the first wave finished:

1) Dave & Rachel: Phil greated them as Team #1 - they won the Express Pass.
2) Brendan & Rachel - bad attitude already cost them first place this time (in my opinion.)
3) Art & JJ - what a fricken day
4) Nary & Jamie - didn't say much but they are looking strong
5) Vanessa & Ralph - woo
6) Elliot & Andrew - yum!

The rest of the teams are arriving now at the empanada contest...
-Bopper, "I've never made pinatas before."  Mark, "They're not pinatas, they're empan....ugh, call them whatever ya want then." (Hahaha... the backwoods boys are pretty amusing.)
-The Guidos are mangling those poor pockets - Danny never cooks -they're used to lifting weights not doing detail work (and the flies buzzing around do not make me want to try any of this food.)

-Misa & Maiya are the last ones to arrive and as they run in they wonder if they'll need their bags but they say nah. (hmm, do they need they're bags to check in?)
They like gyoza so they are having no problem making the empanadas. 
-Kerri & Stacey are the stars of this challenge though - they breeze through this and Misa says, "Double bubble" just finished (ha, apparently they are bootylicious.)

Here's how the rest finished:
7) Kerri & Stacey - my Mom is not the first one out of the pool for once :)
8) Dave & Cheri - clowns can cook!
9) Bopper & Mark - Phil even high 10'd them.

Down to the guidos and the sisters - Misa & Maiya finish first but run out to get their bags... they run out to the lawn and Phil points, there's the next team - but the girls don't see him... they run back around the front of the house... what?  Phil was standing right there, looking shocked...

10) Joey "Fitness" & Danny - Oh My Gosh!
11) Misa & Maiya - ***ELIMINATED*** Phil says you were standing right there - that has never happened before, for a team to be right there at the mat and have another team overtake them.  Maiya said they were so focused they had tunnel vision and didn't even see him there.  She said they had so much heart (but not so much smart apparently.  And they broke their vow, there was crying.)
Also with Misa & Maiya eliminated first, Lindsay J, Robert L, Esther B, Denise R and Kim B get their stake back from the pool and now can root for whomever they choose.

So, there you have it - the Race started out strong, and looks like it's gonna be a good one - spills, chills, fights, tears... oh yeah!

Have a great week everyone,

Coleen

Survivor One World - Premiere Episode Recap Feb 15/12

Two Tribes, One Camp, No Rules

The show opened with Jeff flying overhead in a white helicopter, below, in the back of a truck with a steer skull strapped to the front of it, are the contestants for the 24th edition of Survivor - One World.
-They are sizing each other up silently - we hear from the very preppy and, I'm just going to say it, SUPER gay guy who says this is his game - girls love him and the guys won't see him as a threat (all I'm seeing is show tunes and jazz hands - and yes, I'm going to hell for that one.)
-Hot Latina says if she finds out any of these dudes like her, they're going to get played - oh great, I have a feeling she's not going to make women look good.
-My guy is the sushi chef - unassuming looking guy says he's going to be underestimated because, "how bad-ass can a sushi chef be?" (I'm hoping very bad-ass, Jonas - very!)
-Pretty model boy has the weirdest voice - Whoa! Did he suck some helium somewhere?  Shhshhh, don't ruin it.  I totally missed what he said, something about aligning with the girls and boys...

Jeff says they all think they have the game figured out but what they don't know is that this time they will be divided into two tribes but all live together on one beach.  Two tribes, one camp, no rules... then Jeff's hanging on the outside of the helicopter, "This is Survivor!" [and the helicopter banks away] - awesome.

Jeff lands, the crew piles out of the truck and he welcomes them to Survivor.
-Jeff asks the quirky girl with the whale toque - Kourtney (you're in Samoa, it's hot, you don't need a toque, hipster) where she fits in with the other women and she says nowhere - but she's going to make it a good thing.  (Hot Latina has her game face ON.  Oh yeah, she could care less about the girls, it's all about how she can manipulate the man meat.)
-Jeff then picks on Colton (preppy - jazz hands) and asks what he makes of the guys in the group - he simpers, "There's some good looking guys." (and no, I'm not exaggerating - I think he is though and I'm pretty sure it's part of his strategy.  Let's see who I can make uncomfortable and keep off balance.)
-Jeff then asks Kenny Rogers (pre-plastic surgery) what his name is - "TarZan", Greg Tarzan but he's going to go by Tar-Zan... (Ugh, old guy, that is not making you come off cool.)
-Colton simpers (I have a feeling I'm going to be using that word a lot for him) "if he wants to swing and get me coconuts by all means."
-The other older guy is having none of the Greg Tarzan - he tells the camera, "He can't be Tarzan, I'm Troyzan and this is my island baby." (Whip 'em out boys, let's get it over with.)

Jeff then divides them into tribes - Men over here and Women over there... Colton is not happy, "Look at me, I'm the girl on the guy tribe."
-Jeff notices the women seem happier about the arrangement than the men - the black girl says, "of course, we all know men can't survive without women." (Amen!)
-Troyzan says the girls are all talk, the men will have no problems - with anything. (Wow, I think Troyzan has an attitude problem - he doesn't seem like he's going to play well with others.)

Men's tribe name is Manano and they're orange.  The Women's tribe name is Salani and they're blue.

Then Jeff gives them 60 seconds to strip everything they can off the truck to take with them as supplies - and they start ripping everything off - gas cans, bamboo poles, bananas, baskets of reeds...some of them are working together - then the really tall dark haired guy starts just stealing all the stuff the girls have piled up and moving them over to the men's pile (what a gentleman - Oh, I just looked it up, he's a banker, greed is just his nature.)
-The woman didn't get any of the big stuff but they notice right away the axe is missing - yup, banker boy (Michael) stole it - and the men are called dirty cheaters. (Yup, making friends all over.)

-Jeff tells them there will be hidden immunity idols in play but there is no redemption island (thank goodness!) this season, if they are voted out, they are out.
-He gives both tribes maps to their camps - Michael/banker boy makes a snide remark about the women helping them read it - and Jeff sends them off in separate directions... little do they know they are heading to the same place.

Manono - Day 1 (Ha! There is Oh, No! in their name.)
-The men find it hard going - they have a long way to walk and they have tons of stuff to carry.
-Jonas (sushi chef) said he was sucking wind but trying not to show it - he was most impressed with Leif (little person) - he was carrying the heaviest stuff, he's a buff little dude.

Salani - Day 1
-The girls don't have nearly as much stuff but they find it hard going as well.
-Kourtney is not too happy about the men v/s women thing - she's a woman, she's knows we're all crazy (it's kinda true) - we can be all warm and accepting one minute and slitting your throat the next (well, that's extreme but I know what she's saying.)
-Alicia/hot Latina - says the hike into camp definitely showed her who were the stronger girls - Kim, Alicia, Chelsea, Sabrina & Kat - we have no idea who these girls are yet and I'm not going to describe them all but Alicia has decided this is her alliance of 5.
-These 5 girls are coming together on the hike in - Kim/Bridal shop owner - says she hadn't planned to form an alliance right off but when the men started stealing from them right off the truck that brought them together - Women Power - right off the bat.

The women are the first one's to reach the camp and they see both flags are planted there - so we all camp together... Shut... Up....(and the hits just keep on coming.)  None of the women seem happy except Alicia, "It's gonna be a par-ty!" (That one's trouble.)
-The men show up not long after and Tarzan/Kenny Rogers doesn't look impressed.  Jonas decides to keep the fishing gear close at hand so the women won't steal it (they're not you guys, sheesh.)

The women notice there are loose chickens roaming around and try to organize the next installment of my favourite Survivor staple: the epic battle of man/woman vs chicken.  They decide to work together to try and catch the birds (Hahahaha... I love it ) - Chelsea is successful in catching two on her own - "Don't mess with the country girl."
-Tall blond boy says, "okay, give us ours" and she says, "hold on there" (ask for your axe back) the women are going to confer and figure out what they want in exchange for a chicken. 
-I can understand the men being ticked by that because they did agree to work together, but they should be blaming banker boy because he started with the stealing and set the tone for inter-tribe relations.
-Tall blond boy is Matt, he's an attorney - he says he's not a ladies man, they give us that chicken as an apology (what?) and then we'll think about talking. (oh, I don't like him either.)  The men figure the girls need them more than the men need the women - Matt says she'll come to her senses when she finishes being the hero and she'll come give us a chicken (yeah, hold your breath and wait for that to happen.)

Shelter building begins and everyone is working... except Colton.  He sees the divide in this "one world" and he definitely wants to be with the women.  Sabrina dubs him "Country Club Colton" and it's not going unnoticed by his tribe that he's over with the girls hugging and meeting them all.
-Attorney Matt says he has no problems with Colton being gay but he's not even trying to fit in with the 'manly' men of Manono.  If he doesn't fix that he'll being going home quick.  Matt tells him if he's siding with the women, he'll be going home but if he uses his access with the women to benefit the men he'll be fine.
-Colton tells the camera that Matt is very arrogant and condescending and if he, Colton, gets his way, Matt's torch will be going out quick.

-Attorney Matt, Banker Boy Michael, Model Jay and Comedian Bill all go by with no shirts on - Sabrina calls them the "Frat-boy alliance" and says she's blinded by the hotness.
-Matt lays it out to the camera - the way it always works is the strong stay and the weak go so he's aligned with the 'strong' guys and everyone else is screwed -(Oh my Godipus - the arrogance oozing through my TV screen was making me sick... come on Survivor Karma - do your worst!)

-A couple of the women (I don't know their names, the ladies in red) are trying to start a fire, rubbing sticks together and they have a pair of glasses - one of them is holding one of the chickens by it's legs and every once in a while it tries to escape but she's having none of it.  Colton comes over and throws himself on their mercy, if they find a clue to a hidden idol, could they share it with him (wow, check out the balls on Colton - they may be powder puffs but they are hanging low - it's day one for goodness sakes and he's already begging for help.)
-Sabrina's (black high school teacher) not sure if Colton's charm is all an act but he's funny and she likes him.

-Back at Manono they men are also trying to get a fire going and then Jay speaks and I can't help it - what is up with his voice? - One world, two hemispheres - their tribe - our tribe (where is he hiding the helium tank?)  They get the fire going and who wanders into camp - Sabrina, "Hey."  The men are not welcoming.  Sabrina floats the idea of swapping fire for a chicken and Matt's having none of that - they agreed to split the chickens no matter who caught them and he's not willing to deal with terrorists. (Is he not aware that Michael stole from the women?  If it comes down to who started what -look no farther than your frat-boy buddy.)
-Of course then it degenerates, Alicia and Monica (older hot woman) come over and Monica says maybe if you gave us back the axe you stole you'd get a chicken - then Alicia tries to steal fire by holding some tinder in her hand (yeah, that would work lady) and the old guys and Alicia take it to stripper land - Ugh. 

Salani - Night 1
-Now that it's dark, some of the young stupid girls decide to go ask if the men want to give them fire now... so they can see each other and talk.  That's their big pitch, "Don't you want to give us fire now?" (Can you hear the sarcasm in my typing?  Believe me, it's there.)

-It's Kim (bridal store owner) and Kat (what does ambiance mean?) - they run into banker boy Mike and he basically laughs at them - Fire's not going to happen.  Then he scoffs at the thought that Tarzan may be running things - Kim proves she's not that stupid in that she figures Matt and possibly Mike are running things - but then she says that to him... sigh.  Oh, here comes squeaker/Jay, he's making sure Mike isn't making any deals - it's war and if the girls are down, let them struggle.

-The older ladies, Monica & Christina, wait for everyone to fall asleep then sneak over to the men's side to try and steal an ember since they stole an axe.  The men are passed out around the fire and the ladies use a long stick and take some fiery goodness right under their noses. (Oh man, this is going to get sooo ugly.)

Salani - Day 2
-The ladies did steal an ember but their fire died so they are back to square one.  Christina (Asian woman) says she's not too proud to admit that they may need the men's help, they need fire to survive- so she goes over to broker a deal for fire.  Christina talks to Jonas & Bill and they set a price of 20 woven frond mats for the men to give the girls fire.  Alicia is not happy with Christina trying to make friends with the guys and she is trying to throw a wrench into the deal, we won't do it here, you take it there, you bring us this... (I can't stand this chick.)  She thinks Christina needs to go.

Sabrina says she 'went to take a bath'(pretty sure that was a euphemism) and decided on the way back to take a look around for the idol - she jabs a stick into a hollow log and pulls out the idol - (Are you kidding me?)  She's very excited until she reads the note with it that says it's a hidden idol for the Manono tribe and if you're not on Manono you have to give it up to someone on that tribe before the next tribal council (Nice!  I like that twist - tribe specific immunity, I like it.)  Sabrina doesn't like it so much - now who does she give it to?  It's obvious - Colton. (I guess his constant early pleas actually worked out for him.)

IMMUNITY CHALLENGE

Oh, it's a complicated set up - looks like an obstacle course - One at a time they will jump from a 25ft tower onto a net - then cross a balance beam, cross a rope bridge and get to their mat - once every tribe member has made it to the mat they must raise their flag - first team to do that wins immunity... and fire in the form of flint (which the women still need.)
Off they go: and it's each stage they go one at a time then wait on a mat for everyone before they go on... hmmm.  Jeff keeps telling them to drop on their back but apparently the women aren't listening, Kourtney lands on her wrist and hurts herself - The first guy, Bill,  lost a shoe so everyone after him bounces with the shoe - it's pretty funny.

The guys finish the net drop one person up on the girls and move on to the balance beam - Kourtney is really favouring her arm and she sits down waiting for her turn - the guys are up 4 guys to the girls 2 when Jeff calls a halt to the proceedings to get medical in to look at Kourtney's wrist, it appears to be broken but they won't know for sure without X-rays.

SO - Jeff lays out their options - because the rules say 9 people start, 9 people must finish the challenge could be over right now and the men declared the winners sending the women to tribal council OR, the men can decide, as a gesture of goodwill to continue the challenge and let the chips fall where they may (crap, being a woman I wouldn't want the men to have anything else to be smug about.)  The guys confer and even with Jeff's cautioning them about making early decisions that they won't be forgiven for - the men decide to take immunity and send the women to tribal council.  And the women voice their disappointment and start goading them - be men, let's play on (really ladies?)  Troyzan speaks for the guys and says he doesn't buy that the women would continue if the tables were turned, "We won, it's over."

Oh no boys, it's not over.  The game is ON!

Salani - Day 3
-Nina, older/ex-cop short hair,  got a fat lip at the challenge and was disappointed the guys didn't want to see it through.  Matt tells her he felt like they were going to win anyway so why continue.(Really? Do you listen to the crap coming out of your mouth?) Nina, "Well, I guess we'll never know now."  Kim(bridal shop owner) she's from Texas and is used to me being chivalrous, she can't believe how the men are playing so far.

-Sabrina is giving Colton advice (um, he's got immunity you gave him and you're the one going to tribal tonight) anyway - Colton sees the men being split 4 and 4 with him in the middle - she tells him to use his swing vote position to get rid of one of the big guys (Matt please!)  She passes him the idol (Oh, I thought she'd already done that...okay, now it makes more sense) and tells him not to let Matt punk his *ss (I'm leaving that one alone.)  They 'love ya, girlfriend' and he's audi.

Sabrina then joins the ladies and they discuss the elephant in the room - who to vote for - Kourtney's the obvious choice, especially if she's got a broken wrist, how can she compete?

Alicia feels bad for poor uncoordinated Kourtney but she's going to call Christina out for playing up to the men - she's poison and the rest need to know it.  (Oh, not quite a cancer yet - that girl is poison.)

TRIBAL COUNCIL
Jeff says he'll update them on Kourtney in a minute but first - Alicia, what was it like when you walked onto your beach and realized you'd be living with the men?
-I actually like to bond with girls better (LIAR!) Christina rolls her eyes - I'm glad they moved out.
Kat, who's leading this tribe?
-We all have our individual jobs - like I handle the fire.
Christina, how'd you get fire?
-Well, I went over asked if there was anything we could do so they would help us with the fire because we need fire today.
Alicia jumps in - There was a shady deal that went down - she said two girls would weave for them in their camp (she did not)
Then there is lots of them talking over each other and Christina gets mad and tells her to SHUT UP! (Yes! I like her) - which then gets Alicia mumble threatening to punch her in her face... (oh for Christmas' sakes)  Jeff tries to get it clarified more but Christina just says it worked, they got fire.
-All the women look upset with this dust up. 
Chelsea, do you need to work together as a group of women before you go into the enemy camp or is everyone just doing their own thing?
-Eveyone's just doing their own thing.  Even if we said we all needed to decide on everything, it still wouldn't happen. We're women, not everyone is going to agree, it's just part of it.
Monica, it appears there is no leader.
-Yeah, it's like we focus on the one thing right in front of us that needs to be done - it's anarchy.
Then Jeff plays daddy/host - you have no leader, open animosity between at least two tribe members  and you're laughing about it but it's not funny when you have to come to Tribal Council- meanwhile the guys see you're all over the map and figure they've got you where they want you.

Now an update on Kourtney: Some good news and some bad news - she's doing fine but her wrist is broken in a couple of places and she is out of the game... that's the bad news.  The good news, no one else is going home tonight (subtext - but now you all hate each other :) And they get to return to camp with fire.

He hopes they can turn things around or none of them will make it to the end.

Next time: the women go from bad to worse completely falling apart at the challenge and Colton is on the outs with everyone - the charm is gone, even Sabrina calls him a virus (not quite a cancer either, but he could get there.)

Kourtney’s final thoughts – she’s not very proud of herself, just a little adjustment with her hand and things would be different but she hopes her son thinks she was brave, even if it was only 3 days. (I’m almost sorry we didn’t get to see the rest of her tattoos.)

So, there you have it - a bunch of unlikeable pretty people starting out clawing and scratching from day one - I'm hopeful it gets better from here because there are already quite a few people I already actively dislike... and poor Kourtney, she may have been a hipster but she seemed sweet... probably better for her to go early. And with her going Hardeep/Michele, Krista H and Sunnie C all get their money back from the pool. 

Have a great rest of the week everyone,

Coleen

AMAZING RACE 20 - Pool Picks

Premieres - Sunday, February 19, 2012

WINNERS: DAVE & RACHEL  (May 6th, 2012)

Amazing Race 20	POOL 1	POOL 2	POOL 3	POOL 4	POOL 5
Dave & Rachel	Jeff T	Cara L	Karen F	Miranne D	Charlotte W
Mark & Bopper	Ian G	Ozzy R	Elaine R	Shelley A	Jessica Ch
Nary & Jamie	Nenad M	Cheryl B	Roxanne S	Brenda E	Shane B
Brendon & Rachel	Susan M	Janine S	Kim A	Vikki M	Tommy D
Joey & Danny	Katie L	Sharleen H	Kevin R	Heather G	Donna P
Misa & Maiya	Lindsay J	Robert L	Esther B	Denise R	Kim B
Dave & Cherie	Shelly P	Hardeep/Michele	Rachel R	Karen S	Kelvin H
Elliot & Andrew	Bob L	Bryon L	Corinne H	Lynne B	Chiquita D
Kerri & Stacey	Lee G	Krista H	Sunnie C	Fred / Gary M	Pat T
Vanessa & Ralph	Bernice R	Susan N	Cheryl J	Drew C	Andria S
Art & J.J.	Bernice W	Carol-Anne D	Coleen T	Hannelore & Sue	Sandy G