Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Survivor One World - February 22/12 Episode Recap

Total Dysfunction

The episode opened with the women returning to camp after Christina & Alicia got into it for no reason because Kourtney had broken her wrist and wouldn't be continuing in the game.  (I can't help it, Alicia was trying to make trouble and Christina lost her cool - it wasn't smart but I loved it!  Tell her to "Shut UP!" again!)

Salani - Night 3

As the women return, there is Frat boy/banker Mike wanting to know what happened... oh, he said he was taking care of their fire for them first which seemed to just piss Kat off, "I'm the fire person, I could have gotten it started again." (Suuuure you could... well maybe she could but screaming when a bee came near her during her interview didn't instill that confidence in me.)

Oh, and Mike, upon hearing that they didn't have to vote anyone else out because Kourtney wouldn't be coming back was annoyed - he had hoped they'd be down two people instead (because that would be easier for them - grr, I don't like the smarmy Mike.)

Christina approaches Alicia to try and clear the air between them but she really shouldn't have bothered.  Alicia tells the camera she got exactly what she wanted, having Christina lose her cool and make herself look crazy.  So, Christina apologizes for speaking that way to Alicia who "would never say anything like that to you" and she really doesn't care (Alicia is a mean girl and I hope she is gone soon or I won't be nice with what I say about her...) but they make nice for now [fake hugs].
Alicia has her 5, the pretty popular girls and she's ready to gas the old bags - "Nina looks like a bag of rocks and I don't even know what that means." (Oh, I hate her.)

Salani - Day 4

The women have a morning meeting that Sabrina seems to be leading - they want no BS, let everyone get straight to the point and everyone will be heard.  Then they decide they should elect a leader and the 'girls' nominate Sabrina - the hot older lady with the dark hair (Monica) doesn't look too happy about it - Sabrina, reluctantly agrees to take on a leadership role.  She tells the camera managing the airheads is going to be exhausting but hopefully she can basically get them to shut up.
-First thing they try to get people set on tasks, water, food, shelter - Monica volunteers for water all day and Kat balks at the first thing she's asked to do ... yup, it's going to be like herding cats.

-Nina sees the immediate age division among the women - it's the 5 younger girls together and the 3 older women on the outs.  Kat's immaturity is driving her nuts, she just wants her to shut up and work.  (I think all the older women are constantly chanting Shut Up all day long - just a guess.)

Tree mail - They have a big box and an envelope that they are told to take to a neutral location and only open when everyone is gathered.
-ARGGHH, MY EYES!  Is Tarzan wearing a speedo? Oh good gawd! WHY?
The envelope tells them it's a Do It Yourself reward challenge - inside the box is a ring tied up in a series of knots - the first team to untie all the knots and free the ring wins the reward of a TARP!  Oh, and they get to keep the boxes and rope to use for whatever they want.
I see Alicia & Kat being no help on this one since they were already complaining about knots and their fingers hurting.
-The men sit frat boy/banker Mike and they get started... Oh, and Tarzan is wearing briefs, I'm just glad it's not a thong... then he makes a 'Jazz fingers' comment about Colton (dude, you're the one who's nearly naked... really?) Pretty Jay looked disgusted by Tarzan. 
-Anyway - off they go - it was like a knotted up octopus - arms of knotted rope coming off the ball of knots around the center ring - but it starts going pretty fast - the women look to be leading but then the men turn it on and are the first to free their ring.  Damn!
-Sabrina said the loss hurt her soul.  They needed that tarp "like a fat kid needs cake." (Ha!)  And I think this may be a new Reality Show staple line, "No one remembers second place." (I think someone said that on the Amazing Race the other day to.)

Manono- Day 4
The men return the conquering heroes and they all get to work making theirs the 'best camp in history' - oh everyone except Colton, who is doing a lot of pouting and eye rolling but no work.  All the guys notice, Mike says Colton thinks he's on vacation - he calls himself the queen of our tribe - what is he thinking?
-Jonas says Colton's working the girls, he's got them all in the palm of his hand - he's making Russell look like a little schoolgirl. (Ah, I wouldn't go that far - but points for hyperbole.)

Salani - Day 4
The women are also working on their shelter - it looks pretty low - lots of fronds piled on some sticks... hmm.  Colton is over there helping them - he has nothing in common with the men except their extra appendage (uhhum) and he's more comfortable with the women.  Sabrina is trying to encourage him to try and bond with the guys and all the girls just want him to go back to the boys camp - he may find it a release to be at the girls camp but they see him as an interloper - finally Sabrina realizes he's a virus.  She just asks him why he's still there and tells him he has to leave so they can have a meeting... He's the guest who would not leave! 
-He asks if he can come back later and pouts off by himself - seriously?  What is this guys game?

-A little while later he is back and he calls his own meeting gathering all the women together to beg them to let him stay with them instead of the men - he gets teary and says he doesn't care about the game... Sabrina's had enough of him, says the more he hangs around the more he becomes a jerk.
-I think it's Kim that says it straight - we are two tribes, you are from the other tribe and always hanging around here seeing and hearing everything we're doing - it would be a dumb move on our part to let it continue.  It's not an option for us to have you here all the time, we just can't.
-Sabrina says, if he's running the show and we lose this game, I'm just going to slit my wrists.

Manono - Night 4
The men are around the fire and chanting Tarzan! Tarzan! so he does a little warrior dance in his tiny briefs... I feel Colton's pain.  He realizes he's got to regroup and play the game how it's set out so he waits until most of the guys are bedded down and then shows Troyzan (the other old guy), Leif (the little person) and Jonas (my sushi chef) that he has a hidden immunity idol and he's going to play it at the next tribal council so he's not going home.  Troy is blown away - they have to get rid of the muscle, meaning Mike or Matt (frat boy banker & lawyer - yes please!)  They are giddy - Leif is the voice of reason - there is no more talk of this!  (We'll see if that happens.)
-Jonas says Colton went from the first guy to be voted out to the ring leader - he knew he was freakishly smart (you did not!)   They are the misfit alliance and Colton is their king!

Day 5 - Immunity Challenge

Two platforms out in the water connected by narrow balance beams - the tribe members will be spread out on the balance beams and will have to move one person at a time around the other people to reach their platform - if they fall in, they start over, if they touch two people at a time they have to jump in and start over - first team to get all their members to their platform wins Immunity.
-The men sit out Tarzan - hmm, I think I would have sat Leif, but he goes first and after having to jump in for touching two people at once, he figures it out and breezes past the women.
-The women have boobs - I think that's what it comes down to - we are reluctant to go chest to chest (I'm just saying - I get it.)  Kat starts going behind the girls but Christina proves a problem in that she keeps touching more than one person and Kat has to keep starting over...
-Colton is annoyed at Leif trying to tell him how to do it - he makes it across pretty quickly.
-Kat knocks Christina in the water then jumps in after her - but she didn't need to - yeah, these rules are comfusing for her.
-The men have 3 across before the women even get one across - the women try to change up who starts - Christina tries it but has to go back so Monica steps up but she falls in and Kat jumps in again for no reason - Nina sums it up (about Kat), "dumb as a rock."
-The men now have 5 of their guys done and the women finally get one woman across them...
-The Men win immunity - in a LANDSLIDE victory.  Monica is understandably embarrassed and I agree - the women's tribe is not representing well for our sex as a whole.

Salani - Day 5
-Women's team meeting - Kat apologizes for not having good communication skills but she wanted to step up and prove she could do it - it was just so hard... they basically tell her, they love her rah rah attitude but she needs to listen for the strategy [coming from the smarter people on the team].
-Sabrina likes Kat's energy but it needs to be channeled better - Nina, on the other hand, is like the walking dead around camp - she knows her head's on the block.
-Nina is disgusted with the nice-nice talk - Kat, you jumped in the water twice, you dumb blond, inexcusable. (I think if Nina and Colton could switch tribes they'd both be happier... just saying.)

-Nina & Monica go for water and Nina is venting about Kat, says she's voting for her because she can't stand her.  Monica has a cooler head, she knows the 3 older ladies are on the outs and she also knows approaching the 5 about voting out Kat would be a sure ticket home - she hopes they open their eyes on their own but you never know with this group.

-Nina whispers to Chelsea by the fire that they need to get rid of Kat, I know she's fun but she's an idiot, how can we out-wit when we're witless.  Chelsea agrees that it's been embarrassing - Nina, then let's fix it!  (Hmm, Chelsea seems receptive... let's see.)
-Chelsea goes to Kim and tells her she agrees with Nina, that Kat makes them all look bad and Nina deserves to be there more... Kim agrees as well BUT they need the girls to trust them and going against their alliance so soon would not be a good idea in the long run. (Yup, they're going to vote out the unattractive woman first - sad.)

TRIBAL COUNCIL

Jeff tells them they are off to one of the worst starts in Survivor history (oh, don't sugar coat it Jeff.)
Kim, what do you bring into this game, what could help from your life?
-I think I'm a good communicator and that's something we need but I don't feel like there is a place for my voice yet (okay, she was wearing mascara and they must let them brush their teeth.)
Jeff says it's like talking to a bunch of sixth graders - if you had a bunch of people and you had to figure something out, what is one thing you might do?  You might talk about what you know... I can't believe this hasn't happened yet, Nina.
-Well, a lot of that information hasn't gotten out because we're still a divided tribe, there's 5 against 3.
[And they list the younger girls against the older girls.]
Do they know your background?
-I have shared with some by experience as a police officer in LA for thirteen years that makes me good under pressure and physical.  I'd like to know what Kat brings to this group.
They all look at her and she's silent...
Kat?
-I mean, I'm outdoors and I do sales and I work with people all the time...
And it's fair to say you're young, your life experience is limited...
-I'm young and I've never done this before...
Nina - I'm old, and I've never done this before either.
Kat - pft [whatever] - I'm young and at the challenge today I was so excited and you never want to let your tribe down but I did.
Nina, you look like you're about to burst.
-Well, Kat is always telling us what a great athlete she is but as far as I'm concerned a great athlete is made up of three things, athletic ability, the ability to handle pressure and to be smart (okay, now she's just coming off as an old codger) so today, not only did she jump in the water once, she did it twice and the only distracting voice I heard up there was hers - is she an athlete, I don't know. (That speech didn't make her any friends - she just kicked bambi.)
Kim, is part of what's going on is that there was an alliance formed?
-I think that's part of it - she basically says it's between Nina and Kat and they have been weighing what both bring to the tribe today.
Chelsea, if you could start over, do you think you'd form difference alliances?
Yeah, it'd probably be different.  (They all let the loud mouth Alicia steam roll them on day one)
Sabrina, do you agree with that?
Yes. 100% (And why has no one brought up the fact that they made Sabrina leader - she's been smart in keeping that quiet from the Jeffster.)
Alicia, there has been no girl-power going on.  No young girls at home saying Go, women's tribe.  Is that embarrassing?  (I say YES!)
-It's very embarrassing - Especially in that challenge, Monica figured it out but because everyone was talking we couldn't hear Monica's suggestion.
Kat - It was my fault.
You keep saying that - do you really believe it or are you just being a martyr? (Oh Jeff, your using the big words.)
- I think I do, it sucks. (You THINK you do? pft.) Oh, and she brushes away a tear.
What's upsetting you? (Who cares, let's vote!)
-Um, my communication skills, I guess.  And, failing - I never fail. [Blah blah blah] - they should keep me around so I can prove I'm learning and, not to call anyone out but, Christina doesn't want to play the game...
Christina, she just threw you under the bus.
-blah, blah, blah - take it in, move on.
Sabrina - see, this is how men and women are differnet - a man would call another man out, they'd deal with it - women let it cause a rift but say everything's fine.
Nina, does this give you hope that now Christina's in the mix to go home instead of you?
-Absolutely - then bullet points her attributes again. (Can you tell I'm sick of this? - let's move it along Jeff.)

Oh, and he does - time to vote:
Kat - votes Nina - she says to the camera, "I think you're a really strong competitor but I'd never throw you under the bus the way you did me."  (WHAT?  You mean the way you did Christina? Just a minute ago?)
Nina - votes Kat - enough shenanigans, time for you to leave. (I love that she used shenanigans, way to fit in with the young crowd.)

Tallying the votes:
No one has a hidden immunity idol.
Nina - 1
Kat - 1
Kristina - 1
Nina - 2, 3, 4... I can't say I'm surprised they gassed the non-pretty chick - this tribe was not picked for their brains.
And with Nina leaving so soon - Virginia D, Roxanne S and Janine S are out of the pool... sorry ladies, bad luck of the draw.

Next week: the rain starts, the women's fire goes out and they are begging the men for fire again - and there are tears... sigh.

Nina's bitter rant: I think they made a huge mistake voting me out - not only is Kat young, she's very immature and she's destroying the tribe.  I think the men are going to take them apart piece by piece.

So, there you have it, another demoralizing week for womankind on Survivor.

Coleen.
















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