Hot Girl With a Grudge
The new season of Survivor opened with three tribes of people coming in by helicopter, truck and boat - Jeff tells us these 18 individuals have been divided into three tribes based on the qualities they most rely on in their daily lives.
The Brain Tribe: with an average IQ of 130, this group utilizes their intellect to reach their goals. The young kid, Spencer, says he's a diabolical genius but you wouldn't know it to look at him. Short, dark haired guy, David, is the president of the Florida Marlins Football(?) team, used to a game where there is only one winner. Blond, mousy woman, Kass, is an attorney who is undefeated, looks like a mom but more cunning and ruthless than 95% of the population.
The Beauty Tribe: this group includes a cheerleader (Boobs McGee), a beauty queen and a male fashion model who rely on their looks to get what they want. Boobs McGee, Morgan, says she doesn't want to sound super conceited (which means she is) but from a guy she usually gets what she wants (sigh, and I'm sure it's true.) The male model, Jeremiah, speaks and he's got a back woods southern accent - he says he's going to win them over with his looks (good cause that accent is not attractive.) Beauty queen, Jefra, was 2nd place three years in a row for Miss Kentucky (oh good, so she's used to losing), she believes that her beauty is going to help her with the social aspects of the game.
The Brawn Tribe: this group relies on physical strength - Cliff Robinson, played 18 years in the NBA (this guy is huge!) he always plays for bread & meat, "If I don't win, I don't eat." That's what Survivor is all about. Female police officer, Sarah, also trains for mixed martial arts, "doesn't get better than getting paid to punch someone in the face." Another police officer, Tony, bald muscle head guy, thinks this game should be easy compared to physically chasing bad guys.
It is the ultimate challenge, Brawn vs Brains vs Beauty - which trait will prove the most valuable?
39 days, 18 people, ONE Survivor!
The Tribes converge to meet Jeff at their mats and the pre-judging begins. The Brawn tribe gets to their mat first and Dreadlocks Lindsey is already disgusted by the entrance of the Beauty tribe from a speed boat with the hot girls in the front, "I'm surprised there wasn't cheesy music." (Oh, but there was for us.) And the Beauty Queen is judging the Brain tribe as they get off the chopper, looks like a bunch of nerdy, Cochran types.
Jeff welcomes them and tells them they have been divided into three characteristics that are required to do well in this game, Brawn, Brains and Beauty - they seem happy with their categorizations.
Jeff calls on Boobs McGee (Morgan - I better start calling her Morgan, but really, you can't miss 'em), and asks her what tribe she thinks she's on. "I don't mean to sound conceited (but you are) but I think we're beauty!"
Then Jeff asks Spencer, where does he think they fit in. "I guess we're the nerds. I don't know." (Oh, you so do know.) Based on the fact that the other team is very physical. They all laugh and Jeff asks Tony if he accepts the fact they're the brawny tribe, he says he gladly accepts that (yeah, ask the guy with no neck and arms the size of my thighs if he minds being brawny) He loves that they are going to stomp on the other tribes.
Jeff tells them they are going to have to learn to adapt in this game starting right now - they have to choose a leader.
-Beauty chooses the oldest looking guy - LJ. He thinks he's the inner beauty of the group (no, that would be the Fabulous Brice - who I think just admires beauty - yes, I'm saying he's not that good looking.)
-Brawn has a quick pow-wow and they choose Cop Sarah cause she says she's a talker... Jeff asks Skinny Trish why Sarah and she says she looks like she can get the job done.
-Brains jokes, "Who looks the smartest?" and they choose David, basically because he's wearing a blazer (and he has short man syndrome so he was puffing up and putting it out there.) Jeff asks Kass why David and she says she never trusts a man in a suit but she likes David so we'll go with that. He has to point out that the pants don't match the jacket so it's not a suit (and I hate the Brains tribe - socially awkward know-it-alls...great.)
Jeff now tells them it's going to get a little tougher - the leaders of each group have to decide who is the weakest of their group.
-LJ picks Boobs... um Morgan - who is shocked - (come on, you know she can't run with those things.) LJ tells the camera there is hot and there is cute - she's hot and he trusts cute more than hot. (So he doesn't trust himself around her, nice.)
-Sarah picks Trish and instantly I think it's because she's already too skinny but she is also the oldest member of their tribe - so I get it and she doesn't seem to take it personally.
-David says he makes decisions like this often and he taps the tallest most built guy - Garrett (oh yeah, small man syndrome). David says he's focusing on the last 2/3 of the game (waayyy too early for that dude. I think David is not as smart as he thinks he is.)
Jeff tells the three picked weakest that they are not out of the game, they are not even out of the tribe - they are going to get on the chopper and be taken to their camps before the rest of the tribe and there they will have a decision to make for the rest of the tribe that just voted them out. (What is it??)
Beauty is Solana, Brawn is Aparri and Brains is Luzon (I don't see me ever using those names.)
Brains - Day 1
Garrett arrives at camp alone and pissed off at David's high-handedness. He reads the note left for him and he has to decide whether to benefit himself by taking a clue to the hidden immunity idol or forego the clue for the good of the tribe and take a 2nd bag of rice for everyone. Garrett is in it for himself and takes off looking for the immunity idol. He tells us people see his body (which is pretty spectacular) and think he's a dumb jock but he was valedictorian of his high school and is a high stakes poker player for a living. Whatever he does he's all in. Also, he wants David out of the game.
Brawn - Day 1
Trish gets to camp and she tells the camera when Jeff asked who was the weakest she looked at her tribe and saw she was clearly the thinnest and clearly the oldest so she wasn't surprised it was her. She reads the note and knows she should go for the idol but she's always been a team player, she's a divorced mom having to support her kids on her own, and she is going to go for the good of the group. (Noble, but I don't know if she'll get any respect from her tribe for that move.)
Beauty - Day 1
Morgan (B-McGee) is still shocked she was chosen as the weakest - maybe LJ was tempted by her and he didn't want her to get in his head, after all that's what she's good at. (Argh, make her stop talking, her voice is grating....) She says she holds grudges - big time - she will never forgive him for this. And she doesn't even hesitate - she rips into that clue and goes looking for the idol.
Brains - Garrett strips to his underwear (hello) and gets in the pond by the waterfall - and he finds the hidden immunity idol. He is now in a power position and he is going to do everything in his power to get rid of David.
Beauty - Morgan is also down to her underwear and checking out the rock shelf along the shore near their camp... when the rest of her tribe arrives. LJ found it very suspicious that she wasn't around camp when they got there and she knew she had to come up with something... so she lies. She comes up and says she hopes they like what she picked: and tells them she chose the rice, shelter stuff and fishing gear. Most of them bought it but LJ is suspicious, he thinks she was too cool and collected for someone that was voted off. He thinks she might have the idol or a clue - so he better be on his best behaviour, "She could be the hot girl with a grudge." (LJ is no dummy.)
-Brice also sees through her, he knows a scorned woman when he sees one. And he uses his purple pants and his personality to get in with her (Brice, not to put to sharp on point on it, is very gay) he points out the two other guys and the two other girls have kind of paired off so he's got her. For now, she's good with that, but Morgan is the kind of girl that uses her feminine wiles to make men do her bidding, I don't know if she'll want to hang with a guy that doesn't care about that for long.
-Beauty proves they are not just pretty faces when the guys succeed in building a fire! They are proving they can kick butt out there.
Brawn - Trish welcomes her tribe with open arms and in an effort to prove she's not the weakest she tells them she chose an extra bag of rice over the idol clue for herself. Tony tells the camera, had that been me, there would only be one bag of rice, and one idol in my pocket.
-They get started building their shelter and Woo is star struck with Cliff Robinson, he's one of his basketball idols - Tony couldn't care less. The rest of the tribe think it's cool and Cliff is feeling great that they seem to be accepting him as just one of the tribe. (One freaking huge part of the tribe.)
-Sarah also confronts Tony asking him if he's a cop and he denies, denies, denies. She knows a cop when she sees one and she also knows when she's being lied to, interrogation is part of the job. Tony has decided he's going to hide his profession because he thinks the tribe will see it as threatening, "he's strategical, quick on his toes..." (I don't think Tony's the brain trust, he's got nothing to worry about there.)
-Sarah doesn't trust him, he's got to go as soon as possible.
Brains - Day 1
-The rest of the tribe gets to camp and Garrett meets them with all smiles (he has an idol, of course he's happy). Spencer tells the camera he couldn't believe David's decision to vote Garrett out, the one guy that could help them in challenges (I know, right.) Garrett sloughs off the question about the decision he had to make, telling them he found still water and the waterfall... but he's not an architect and knows nothing about building shelter. And this is when J'Tia stepped up, told them she's a nuclear engineer and she's got some plans for the shelter.
-They are willing to let her take the lead but Tasha said it best, "Her approach was not the... sleakest. She comes off very bossy." Then it's just J'Tia telling everyone what to do and doing nothing herself. (Oh yeah, J'Tia is my girl in the pool and she's shooting herself in the foot right now - looks like I'll be getting my $10 back.)
- J'Tia's master plan ultimately fails as well (the platform falls apart) and Kass points out in a sarcastic know-it-all way, "Not very smart for the brain tribe." (I know, how about you come up with a plan instead of making snarky comments! I'm not impressed with the Brain tribe.)
IMMUNITY CHALLENGE #1
They have to maneuver a cart through an obstacle course, at every tower they will have to retrieve a key, unlock the chains around a chest, load the chest on the cart and move on - once they have all three chests on the cart they get to a barricade where they have to disassemble the cart, get all three chests and all the pieces of the cart over/through the wall, then reassemble the cart and carry the chests on to the end where they will then open the chests and use the pieces to complete a circular dragon puzzle.
First tribe to finish gets immunity and a large fire making kit, second tribe to finish also gets immunity and fire in the form of flint - losers go to tribal council.
-Off they go - and the Brains suck from the outset - I'll spare you the details - the Brawn tribe and the Beauty tribe are working on the puzzle and Brains are basically out of it. Jeff says it's one of the worst performances in Survivor history.
1st place: Beauty (and they already have fire.)
2nd place: Brawn
Last = Brains - will be going to Tribal Council
Brains - Day 3
-They are all realizing they have to stop thinking they're so smart because they are getting their butts kicked.
-David and Kass go off on their own to complain about their tribe mates - Kass thinks J'Tia's got to go and David is still on the Garrett kick - he wants to take out who he views as the alpha male to solidify his alpha status in the tribe. Kass is actually using her head - knows that's ridiculous, Garrett is a workhorse and J'Tia isn't pulling her weight around camp or in the challenges.
-J'Tia approaches Kass and asks her what she's thinking and Kass tells her, I'm leaning towards you. You're doing a lot of directing but not doing anything. Kass tells her she's an honest person and it's time to scramble.
-J'Tia gets choked up when she tells the camera that Kass kinda hurt her feelings. She thought she was being motivating to the tribe but clearly it didn't come off that way. "I may have ruined my chances."
-Tasha comes over and talks to J'Tia, who tells her that Kass was talking about voting her out. Tasha does confirm that she may have rubbed some people the wrong way but then Garrett comes over and makes his pitch for them taking David out, he's the much bigger threat - if they vote together and he gets Spencer on board, they'll all be okay.
-Spencer is worried that David might have a hidden immunity idol because there hasn't been any talk of clues or an idol - and he's seen David and Kass going off on their own a lot. Spencer feels like J'Tia is the safer vote (Man! I hate going out first.) And now Garrett is worried they won't have the numbers to take out David.
TRIBAL COUNCIL #1
Garrett had a huge spider on his neck/ear... ON HIS EAR! He jumped up and to his credit did NOT scream like a little girl (like I would have) but Jeff still gives him a hard time. (SPIDER, on his HEAD! Geez Probst, give the guy a break.)
Okay, I have to start condensing this thing - We're only half way through.
J'Tia tells Jeff there'd already been talk about voting her out and she knows she came off bossy and her plan didn't work but she wants her tribe to succeed and she's not looking at the last 2/3 (calling out David's justification for voting out Garrett day one) of the game, she wants them to get there first. She calls out David as the person that should go instead of her.
And they vote:
David votes J'Tia
J'Tia votes David
Tallying the votes:
No one plays a hidden immunity idol.
J'Tia - 1
David - 1
J'Tia - 2
David - 2, 3... 4! WHAT!?! My girl survived, how did that happen?
And with David leaving us first, Shelley A, Bob L & Roxanne S, will get their $10 back.
Also David has no hard feelings, obviously his tribe doesn't have things together or at least not together with him - but he still considers himself the luckiest guy in the world. (Just not on Survivor.)
Brains - Day 4
-Garrett tells the camera he's not having fun playing Survivor. Manual labour is not fun, starving is not fun. When he's playing poker, he's sitting in a comfy chair and chicken and vegetables are brought right to the table. Then he starts whining - "I want to play survivor to out-wit and out-play people, I don't want to play survivor to survive in the wilderness" (Has he not seen the show before?)
-Garrett and Spencer approach Kass because they'll need her for the numbers to take out J'Tia and Tash or, if she doesn't want to play ball with them they'll just take her out. Kass knows after the blindside of David - and herself a bit - last night, she's going to be the third vote for someone so she knows she's the swing vote. The boys get her to shake on them being the final three but Kass says to the camera that she has no allegiance right now - she'll shake but it doesn't mean anything.
Brawn - Day 4
Woo (oh yeah, did I mention there is a martial arts expert named Woo on this tribe?) and Cliff take the boat out to do some fishing! But boatsmen they are not... Cliff likes having a wingman - Batman has Robin, Cliff has Woo... then they lose balance in the boat and it goes over - And Cliff Robinson has the best laugh - it's almost the old 7-Up commercial laugh (did I just age myself horribly?).
-Cliff enlists Tony's help when they get back to shore to tip the boat up so they dump the water out... and all the girls say how they just love Cliff (how can you not? He's awesome.) Well, Tony doesn't think so, he's just sounds jealous.
Beauty - Day 4
They're all just standing around like zombie's. Brice isn't happy with his tribe playing dumb - Alexis is flirting and in her underwear all the time - he doesn't like it. And Jefra, he doesn't know her game - but all the crayons in her crayon box aren't bright. (hahaha!)
-Jeremiah tells Morgan (B.McGee) that her socks are cute and she tells the camera she thinks she can reel him in and have him in her back pocket (ugh, she's showing us she sure isn't pretty on the inside.)
-Brice sees Jeremiah drooling over Morgan and playing the wingman, he's going to facilitate Jeremiah's access to her and bring him into their alliance. The three of them are by the fire and Brice says he thinks they need to be the brains of the operation - Jeremiah seems up for that - and bug-eyes Brice is proving they shouldn't judge a book by it's cover, he's more than a pretty face. (You're on the Beauty tribe, it's all about the cover!)
Brawn - Day 4
-Trish has an armload of firewood and says to dreadlocks-Lindsey that there is lots of firewood to be had if she just goes looking and Lindsey takes offense. Why would you tell me that?
T - We're all just trying to chip in.
L - Why am I not chipping in?
T - You tell me. And Trish walks away.
Sarah tells Lindsey to let it go but she tells the camera that Malnu-trisha needs to chill out, she can't stand her voice, her attitude, etc. Then Lindsay starts making fun of her like a 10 year old. (nice)
-Trish goes and bitches about Lindsey to Tony... she's really no better. She tells the camera she's from Boston Mass, if she really snapped on Lindsey, she'd still be crying. (Uh, too much testosterone ladies, dial it back a notch... though I am anticipating some good fireworks in the future.)
-Tony tells Trish he's got her back, that she's got to be strong and not let those girls get in her head. He's working on something over there that he's going to tell her about later... (uh, what?) He tells the camera it looks like he's building a shelter but he's really building a spice rack (What?) - no, that was Spy Shack! (Ohh!) He's planning on skulking around and spying on them talking. Tony says his main target is Cliff, he knows in order to take over the pride, the strongest lion has to take out the other older one, and then he has to kill the cubs. "I'm more brains than brawn." (I wouldn't go that far.)
IMMUNITY CHALLENGE #2
They have to swim out to a large bamboo cage, climb over the top and fall inside, then swim down and untie the door to the cage and drag 4 large fish traps back to shore. Once back to their mat, one tribe member will use the pieces inside the traps to complete a fish puzzle.
First tribe wins immunity and a large fish kit (nets, worms, lures, spices, pan, oil) Second tribe wins immunity and a smaller fish kit: line, hooks, weights.
Brawn sat Cliff and Beauty sat Brice... hmm, I'm going to leave that alone.
Off they go and again, sparing you the play by play - but Brains kicked butt getting their traps back to shore way ahead of everyone thanks to Garrett and then J'Tia lost it for them on the puzzle (literally the worse puzzle performance EVER! - my girl is not good at anything - but hopefully nuclear engineering.)
1st - Brawn
2nd - Beauty
Last - Brains - Again?! Really? (I think I'm definitely out now, they gave J'Tia enough rope to hang herself and she didn't disappoint in that respect.)
Brawn - Day 6
They get back to camp and are celebrating their win. Tony doesn't bask in the glow, he's got hidden immunity idol on his mind and he knows there could be a clue in the basket of fishing stuff... so he looks on the sly and low & behold, he finds the clue (no way.) And then he reads the clue and he goes and finds the idol (huh, they be making these clues way easier this time - everyone is finding the idols - oh wait, B. McGee didn't find hers - never mind.)
Brains - Day 6
They get back to camp dejectedly and Garrett just dumps their flag in the dirt. They all sit at their shelter by the fire and Garrett decides they should just have an open discussion about what they're going to do at tribal council instead of going off and having side discussions on their own. He's thinking this will force Kass to declare with the boys in front of everyone but it blows up in his face. Kass, just being honest, says she's thinking J'Tia (this is horrible, she's sitting right there.) Garrett asks Spencer and he's like, "we're really doing this right now? Okay, I think J'Tia. Garrett?"
"Yeah, I agree."
But Tasha is having none of it. "Yeah, I just want to talk to people individually because I don't think we're being as candid as possible."
Garrett cuts her off and says he'd prefer not to have side convos (And why should they care what you prefer? Really? Who is this guy?)
-Tasha tells the camera she loves Survivor and she's so frustrated to be stuck with people that don't want to play the game. She's looking forward to scheming and back-stabbing and she's being told (in a hoity-toity voice) "no" and it saddens her.
-Garrett's best case scenerio is they all just sit there until Tribal Council.
-Tasha says she just wants to talk to you two (the two guys, I think?) and Garrett says he doesn't know why she wants to do that, it's all out in the open.
-She says, "This is Survivor, you talk."
-Garrett Super Whines, "I don't want to do that anymore."
-Tasha yells, "Then QUIT!" (Oh yeah, you tell him!) Tasha controls herself though, she tells him this is the least strategic game she's ever played. She tells the camera she doesn't know why Garrett thinks he's the leader of the tribe, he sits around all day, he's always hungry and now he doesn't
even want to play the game. If you don't want to play the game the way it should be played - get out of here.
-J'Tia can't believe they thought this was the way to go.
-Spencer also thinks that Garrett is an idiot. It would have been so easy to just tell J'Tia what she wanted to hear but now that he's put everything out in the open they have to baby sit these girls to make sure they go home.
-Somehow Tasha and Kass escaped down to the water and Tasha is ready to scramble and flip this game. She says to Kass this is the last time they'll have the numbers, they need to flip it so they are not 3 and 4 to the boys but 1 and 2 for themselves.... and boom, there is Garrett and Spencer - gnawing on some weird fruit like animals - having left J'Tia all alone in camp - BIG MISTAKE!
-J'Tia decides if she's going out, she's going out Crazy Hantz style - and she dumps all their rice into the fire. (Why? Why do you make it so impossible to root for you?) (She's got to go now, how can they keep her there?)
-The rest of the tribe comes back to camp and they see the rice in the fire... then it just seems like bad acting because no one really freaks out, that was all their rice - on the fire. And we get more of Garrett whining, that's why I wanted us all to stay up here. (This guy is a piece of work - his brain is not working with no food, that's often what happens with the super fit guys.)
Then the best line from Kass to the camera: "How did we come up with the criteria for brains? I'd like to see that data." (Hahaha!) Ironically she was going to approach J'Tia about turning this around and she's poured all their rice out - I can't align with someone like that.
TRIBAL COUNCIL #2
They tell Jeff Garrett decided to have an open forum discussion and they all pointed fingers at J'Tia. Tasha tried to talk to the guys separately but he would have none of it. He wanted Kass to know they were with her. J'Tia didn't know why Garrett got to call all the shots so wanting to hurt him she poured all the rice in the fire. Not her best moment (Y'think?)
Jeff gives them a lesson - the reason blindsides work is not because they're fun, it's cause they're effective.
Garrett does some more whining, J'Tia painting him in an unflattering light to his tribe mates is unfair (what?) and then he paints himself in a corner talking about an alliance, which Kass says she's not in and Tasha thought she was in... He just keeps digging the hole, the four of us are all equal. J'Tia, which four? It was pretty amusing - and I don't know who had crazier eyes, J'Tia pouring out the rice of Garrett's bug-eyed back-pedalling.
Time to vote:
Garrett votes J'Tia
J'Tia votes Garrett
Spencer votes J'Tia (he's genuinely scared that she's a nuclear engineer)
Tallying the votes:
No one plays a hidden immunity idol
J'Tia - 1
Garrett - 1
J'Tia - 2
Garrett - 2 (and now he looks scared)
Garrett - 3 Ha! Garrett is the 2nd person voted out.
(How did J'Tia escape again? She's magic!)
And with Garrett, Lois L, Kevin C and Lynne B are out of the pool. Well that was quick and crazy!
Garrett's final thoughts: He can't believe he left with a hidden immunity idol back at camp, he didn't even take it with him he was so sure how the vote was going to go. That was very embarrassing, very, very embarrassing. (Go have some chicken and vegetables, it'll make you feel better big guy.)
Next week, Tony confesses to one of the girls (I think it's Sarah) that he's been a cop for 13 years and the rain is proving to make this one beauty's Survivor nightmare.
Well, that was a long one, sorry guys, I'm out of practice but the episode was 2 hours. I'm kind of missing the blood vs water dynamic, not sure if I'm liking three tribes but we'll have to see how it plays out.
Have a great rest of the week everyone!
Coleen
The new season of Survivor opened with three tribes of people coming in by helicopter, truck and boat - Jeff tells us these 18 individuals have been divided into three tribes based on the qualities they most rely on in their daily lives.
The Brain Tribe: with an average IQ of 130, this group utilizes their intellect to reach their goals. The young kid, Spencer, says he's a diabolical genius but you wouldn't know it to look at him. Short, dark haired guy, David, is the president of the Florida Marlins Football(?) team, used to a game where there is only one winner. Blond, mousy woman, Kass, is an attorney who is undefeated, looks like a mom but more cunning and ruthless than 95% of the population.
The Beauty Tribe: this group includes a cheerleader (Boobs McGee), a beauty queen and a male fashion model who rely on their looks to get what they want. Boobs McGee, Morgan, says she doesn't want to sound super conceited (which means she is) but from a guy she usually gets what she wants (sigh, and I'm sure it's true.) The male model, Jeremiah, speaks and he's got a back woods southern accent - he says he's going to win them over with his looks (good cause that accent is not attractive.) Beauty queen, Jefra, was 2nd place three years in a row for Miss Kentucky (oh good, so she's used to losing), she believes that her beauty is going to help her with the social aspects of the game.
The Brawn Tribe: this group relies on physical strength - Cliff Robinson, played 18 years in the NBA (this guy is huge!) he always plays for bread & meat, "If I don't win, I don't eat." That's what Survivor is all about. Female police officer, Sarah, also trains for mixed martial arts, "doesn't get better than getting paid to punch someone in the face." Another police officer, Tony, bald muscle head guy, thinks this game should be easy compared to physically chasing bad guys.
It is the ultimate challenge, Brawn vs Brains vs Beauty - which trait will prove the most valuable?
39 days, 18 people, ONE Survivor!
The Tribes converge to meet Jeff at their mats and the pre-judging begins. The Brawn tribe gets to their mat first and Dreadlocks Lindsey is already disgusted by the entrance of the Beauty tribe from a speed boat with the hot girls in the front, "I'm surprised there wasn't cheesy music." (Oh, but there was for us.) And the Beauty Queen is judging the Brain tribe as they get off the chopper, looks like a bunch of nerdy, Cochran types.
Jeff welcomes them and tells them they have been divided into three characteristics that are required to do well in this game, Brawn, Brains and Beauty - they seem happy with their categorizations.
Jeff calls on Boobs McGee (Morgan - I better start calling her Morgan, but really, you can't miss 'em), and asks her what tribe she thinks she's on. "I don't mean to sound conceited (but you are) but I think we're beauty!"
Then Jeff asks Spencer, where does he think they fit in. "I guess we're the nerds. I don't know." (Oh, you so do know.) Based on the fact that the other team is very physical. They all laugh and Jeff asks Tony if he accepts the fact they're the brawny tribe, he says he gladly accepts that (yeah, ask the guy with no neck and arms the size of my thighs if he minds being brawny) He loves that they are going to stomp on the other tribes.
Jeff tells them they are going to have to learn to adapt in this game starting right now - they have to choose a leader.
-Beauty chooses the oldest looking guy - LJ. He thinks he's the inner beauty of the group (no, that would be the Fabulous Brice - who I think just admires beauty - yes, I'm saying he's not that good looking.)
-Brawn has a quick pow-wow and they choose Cop Sarah cause she says she's a talker... Jeff asks Skinny Trish why Sarah and she says she looks like she can get the job done.
-Brains jokes, "Who looks the smartest?" and they choose David, basically because he's wearing a blazer (and he has short man syndrome so he was puffing up and putting it out there.) Jeff asks Kass why David and she says she never trusts a man in a suit but she likes David so we'll go with that. He has to point out that the pants don't match the jacket so it's not a suit (and I hate the Brains tribe - socially awkward know-it-alls...great.)
Jeff now tells them it's going to get a little tougher - the leaders of each group have to decide who is the weakest of their group.
-LJ picks Boobs... um Morgan - who is shocked - (come on, you know she can't run with those things.) LJ tells the camera there is hot and there is cute - she's hot and he trusts cute more than hot. (So he doesn't trust himself around her, nice.)
-Sarah picks Trish and instantly I think it's because she's already too skinny but she is also the oldest member of their tribe - so I get it and she doesn't seem to take it personally.
-David says he makes decisions like this often and he taps the tallest most built guy - Garrett (oh yeah, small man syndrome). David says he's focusing on the last 2/3 of the game (waayyy too early for that dude. I think David is not as smart as he thinks he is.)
Jeff tells the three picked weakest that they are not out of the game, they are not even out of the tribe - they are going to get on the chopper and be taken to their camps before the rest of the tribe and there they will have a decision to make for the rest of the tribe that just voted them out. (What is it??)
Beauty is Solana, Brawn is Aparri and Brains is Luzon (I don't see me ever using those names.)
Brains - Day 1
Garrett arrives at camp alone and pissed off at David's high-handedness. He reads the note left for him and he has to decide whether to benefit himself by taking a clue to the hidden immunity idol or forego the clue for the good of the tribe and take a 2nd bag of rice for everyone. Garrett is in it for himself and takes off looking for the immunity idol. He tells us people see his body (which is pretty spectacular) and think he's a dumb jock but he was valedictorian of his high school and is a high stakes poker player for a living. Whatever he does he's all in. Also, he wants David out of the game.
Brawn - Day 1
Trish gets to camp and she tells the camera when Jeff asked who was the weakest she looked at her tribe and saw she was clearly the thinnest and clearly the oldest so she wasn't surprised it was her. She reads the note and knows she should go for the idol but she's always been a team player, she's a divorced mom having to support her kids on her own, and she is going to go for the good of the group. (Noble, but I don't know if she'll get any respect from her tribe for that move.)
Beauty - Day 1
Morgan (B-McGee) is still shocked she was chosen as the weakest - maybe LJ was tempted by her and he didn't want her to get in his head, after all that's what she's good at. (Argh, make her stop talking, her voice is grating....) She says she holds grudges - big time - she will never forgive him for this. And she doesn't even hesitate - she rips into that clue and goes looking for the idol.
Brains - Garrett strips to his underwear (hello) and gets in the pond by the waterfall - and he finds the hidden immunity idol. He is now in a power position and he is going to do everything in his power to get rid of David.
Beauty - Morgan is also down to her underwear and checking out the rock shelf along the shore near their camp... when the rest of her tribe arrives. LJ found it very suspicious that she wasn't around camp when they got there and she knew she had to come up with something... so she lies. She comes up and says she hopes they like what she picked: and tells them she chose the rice, shelter stuff and fishing gear. Most of them bought it but LJ is suspicious, he thinks she was too cool and collected for someone that was voted off. He thinks she might have the idol or a clue - so he better be on his best behaviour, "She could be the hot girl with a grudge." (LJ is no dummy.)
-Brice also sees through her, he knows a scorned woman when he sees one. And he uses his purple pants and his personality to get in with her (Brice, not to put to sharp on point on it, is very gay) he points out the two other guys and the two other girls have kind of paired off so he's got her. For now, she's good with that, but Morgan is the kind of girl that uses her feminine wiles to make men do her bidding, I don't know if she'll want to hang with a guy that doesn't care about that for long.
-Beauty proves they are not just pretty faces when the guys succeed in building a fire! They are proving they can kick butt out there.
Brawn - Trish welcomes her tribe with open arms and in an effort to prove she's not the weakest she tells them she chose an extra bag of rice over the idol clue for herself. Tony tells the camera, had that been me, there would only be one bag of rice, and one idol in my pocket.
-They get started building their shelter and Woo is star struck with Cliff Robinson, he's one of his basketball idols - Tony couldn't care less. The rest of the tribe think it's cool and Cliff is feeling great that they seem to be accepting him as just one of the tribe. (One freaking huge part of the tribe.)
-Sarah also confronts Tony asking him if he's a cop and he denies, denies, denies. She knows a cop when she sees one and she also knows when she's being lied to, interrogation is part of the job. Tony has decided he's going to hide his profession because he thinks the tribe will see it as threatening, "he's strategical, quick on his toes..." (I don't think Tony's the brain trust, he's got nothing to worry about there.)
-Sarah doesn't trust him, he's got to go as soon as possible.
Brains - Day 1
-The rest of the tribe gets to camp and Garrett meets them with all smiles (he has an idol, of course he's happy). Spencer tells the camera he couldn't believe David's decision to vote Garrett out, the one guy that could help them in challenges (I know, right.) Garrett sloughs off the question about the decision he had to make, telling them he found still water and the waterfall... but he's not an architect and knows nothing about building shelter. And this is when J'Tia stepped up, told them she's a nuclear engineer and she's got some plans for the shelter.
-They are willing to let her take the lead but Tasha said it best, "Her approach was not the... sleakest. She comes off very bossy." Then it's just J'Tia telling everyone what to do and doing nothing herself. (Oh yeah, J'Tia is my girl in the pool and she's shooting herself in the foot right now - looks like I'll be getting my $10 back.)
- J'Tia's master plan ultimately fails as well (the platform falls apart) and Kass points out in a sarcastic know-it-all way, "Not very smart for the brain tribe." (I know, how about you come up with a plan instead of making snarky comments! I'm not impressed with the Brain tribe.)
IMMUNITY CHALLENGE #1
They have to maneuver a cart through an obstacle course, at every tower they will have to retrieve a key, unlock the chains around a chest, load the chest on the cart and move on - once they have all three chests on the cart they get to a barricade where they have to disassemble the cart, get all three chests and all the pieces of the cart over/through the wall, then reassemble the cart and carry the chests on to the end where they will then open the chests and use the pieces to complete a circular dragon puzzle.
First tribe to finish gets immunity and a large fire making kit, second tribe to finish also gets immunity and fire in the form of flint - losers go to tribal council.
-Off they go - and the Brains suck from the outset - I'll spare you the details - the Brawn tribe and the Beauty tribe are working on the puzzle and Brains are basically out of it. Jeff says it's one of the worst performances in Survivor history.
1st place: Beauty (and they already have fire.)
2nd place: Brawn
Last = Brains - will be going to Tribal Council
Brains - Day 3
-They are all realizing they have to stop thinking they're so smart because they are getting their butts kicked.
-David and Kass go off on their own to complain about their tribe mates - Kass thinks J'Tia's got to go and David is still on the Garrett kick - he wants to take out who he views as the alpha male to solidify his alpha status in the tribe. Kass is actually using her head - knows that's ridiculous, Garrett is a workhorse and J'Tia isn't pulling her weight around camp or in the challenges.
-J'Tia approaches Kass and asks her what she's thinking and Kass tells her, I'm leaning towards you. You're doing a lot of directing but not doing anything. Kass tells her she's an honest person and it's time to scramble.
-J'Tia gets choked up when she tells the camera that Kass kinda hurt her feelings. She thought she was being motivating to the tribe but clearly it didn't come off that way. "I may have ruined my chances."
-Tasha comes over and talks to J'Tia, who tells her that Kass was talking about voting her out. Tasha does confirm that she may have rubbed some people the wrong way but then Garrett comes over and makes his pitch for them taking David out, he's the much bigger threat - if they vote together and he gets Spencer on board, they'll all be okay.
-Spencer is worried that David might have a hidden immunity idol because there hasn't been any talk of clues or an idol - and he's seen David and Kass going off on their own a lot. Spencer feels like J'Tia is the safer vote (Man! I hate going out first.) And now Garrett is worried they won't have the numbers to take out David.
TRIBAL COUNCIL #1
Garrett had a huge spider on his neck/ear... ON HIS EAR! He jumped up and to his credit did NOT scream like a little girl (like I would have) but Jeff still gives him a hard time. (SPIDER, on his HEAD! Geez Probst, give the guy a break.)
Okay, I have to start condensing this thing - We're only half way through.
J'Tia tells Jeff there'd already been talk about voting her out and she knows she came off bossy and her plan didn't work but she wants her tribe to succeed and she's not looking at the last 2/3 (calling out David's justification for voting out Garrett day one) of the game, she wants them to get there first. She calls out David as the person that should go instead of her.
And they vote:
David votes J'Tia
J'Tia votes David
Tallying the votes:
No one plays a hidden immunity idol.
J'Tia - 1
David - 1
J'Tia - 2
David - 2, 3... 4! WHAT!?! My girl survived, how did that happen?
And with David leaving us first, Shelley A, Bob L & Roxanne S, will get their $10 back.
Also David has no hard feelings, obviously his tribe doesn't have things together or at least not together with him - but he still considers himself the luckiest guy in the world. (Just not on Survivor.)
Brains - Day 4
-Garrett tells the camera he's not having fun playing Survivor. Manual labour is not fun, starving is not fun. When he's playing poker, he's sitting in a comfy chair and chicken and vegetables are brought right to the table. Then he starts whining - "I want to play survivor to out-wit and out-play people, I don't want to play survivor to survive in the wilderness" (Has he not seen the show before?)
-Garrett and Spencer approach Kass because they'll need her for the numbers to take out J'Tia and Tash or, if she doesn't want to play ball with them they'll just take her out. Kass knows after the blindside of David - and herself a bit - last night, she's going to be the third vote for someone so she knows she's the swing vote. The boys get her to shake on them being the final three but Kass says to the camera that she has no allegiance right now - she'll shake but it doesn't mean anything.
Brawn - Day 4
Woo (oh yeah, did I mention there is a martial arts expert named Woo on this tribe?) and Cliff take the boat out to do some fishing! But boatsmen they are not... Cliff likes having a wingman - Batman has Robin, Cliff has Woo... then they lose balance in the boat and it goes over - And Cliff Robinson has the best laugh - it's almost the old 7-Up commercial laugh (did I just age myself horribly?).
-Cliff enlists Tony's help when they get back to shore to tip the boat up so they dump the water out... and all the girls say how they just love Cliff (how can you not? He's awesome.) Well, Tony doesn't think so, he's just sounds jealous.
Beauty - Day 4
They're all just standing around like zombie's. Brice isn't happy with his tribe playing dumb - Alexis is flirting and in her underwear all the time - he doesn't like it. And Jefra, he doesn't know her game - but all the crayons in her crayon box aren't bright. (hahaha!)
-Jeremiah tells Morgan (B.McGee) that her socks are cute and she tells the camera she thinks she can reel him in and have him in her back pocket (ugh, she's showing us she sure isn't pretty on the inside.)
-Brice sees Jeremiah drooling over Morgan and playing the wingman, he's going to facilitate Jeremiah's access to her and bring him into their alliance. The three of them are by the fire and Brice says he thinks they need to be the brains of the operation - Jeremiah seems up for that - and bug-eyes Brice is proving they shouldn't judge a book by it's cover, he's more than a pretty face. (You're on the Beauty tribe, it's all about the cover!)
Brawn - Day 4
-Trish has an armload of firewood and says to dreadlocks-Lindsey that there is lots of firewood to be had if she just goes looking and Lindsey takes offense. Why would you tell me that?
T - We're all just trying to chip in.
L - Why am I not chipping in?
T - You tell me. And Trish walks away.
Sarah tells Lindsey to let it go but she tells the camera that Malnu-trisha needs to chill out, she can't stand her voice, her attitude, etc. Then Lindsay starts making fun of her like a 10 year old. (nice)
-Trish goes and bitches about Lindsey to Tony... she's really no better. She tells the camera she's from Boston Mass, if she really snapped on Lindsey, she'd still be crying. (Uh, too much testosterone ladies, dial it back a notch... though I am anticipating some good fireworks in the future.)
-Tony tells Trish he's got her back, that she's got to be strong and not let those girls get in her head. He's working on something over there that he's going to tell her about later... (uh, what?) He tells the camera it looks like he's building a shelter but he's really building a spice rack (What?) - no, that was Spy Shack! (Ohh!) He's planning on skulking around and spying on them talking. Tony says his main target is Cliff, he knows in order to take over the pride, the strongest lion has to take out the other older one, and then he has to kill the cubs. "I'm more brains than brawn." (I wouldn't go that far.)
IMMUNITY CHALLENGE #2
They have to swim out to a large bamboo cage, climb over the top and fall inside, then swim down and untie the door to the cage and drag 4 large fish traps back to shore. Once back to their mat, one tribe member will use the pieces inside the traps to complete a fish puzzle.
First tribe wins immunity and a large fish kit (nets, worms, lures, spices, pan, oil) Second tribe wins immunity and a smaller fish kit: line, hooks, weights.
Brawn sat Cliff and Beauty sat Brice... hmm, I'm going to leave that alone.
Off they go and again, sparing you the play by play - but Brains kicked butt getting their traps back to shore way ahead of everyone thanks to Garrett and then J'Tia lost it for them on the puzzle (literally the worse puzzle performance EVER! - my girl is not good at anything - but hopefully nuclear engineering.)
1st - Brawn
2nd - Beauty
Last - Brains - Again?! Really? (I think I'm definitely out now, they gave J'Tia enough rope to hang herself and she didn't disappoint in that respect.)
Brawn - Day 6
They get back to camp and are celebrating their win. Tony doesn't bask in the glow, he's got hidden immunity idol on his mind and he knows there could be a clue in the basket of fishing stuff... so he looks on the sly and low & behold, he finds the clue (no way.) And then he reads the clue and he goes and finds the idol (huh, they be making these clues way easier this time - everyone is finding the idols - oh wait, B. McGee didn't find hers - never mind.)
Brains - Day 6
They get back to camp dejectedly and Garrett just dumps their flag in the dirt. They all sit at their shelter by the fire and Garrett decides they should just have an open discussion about what they're going to do at tribal council instead of going off and having side discussions on their own. He's thinking this will force Kass to declare with the boys in front of everyone but it blows up in his face. Kass, just being honest, says she's thinking J'Tia (this is horrible, she's sitting right there.) Garrett asks Spencer and he's like, "we're really doing this right now? Okay, I think J'Tia. Garrett?"
"Yeah, I agree."
But Tasha is having none of it. "Yeah, I just want to talk to people individually because I don't think we're being as candid as possible."
Garrett cuts her off and says he'd prefer not to have side convos (And why should they care what you prefer? Really? Who is this guy?)
-Tasha tells the camera she loves Survivor and she's so frustrated to be stuck with people that don't want to play the game. She's looking forward to scheming and back-stabbing and she's being told (in a hoity-toity voice) "no" and it saddens her.
-Garrett's best case scenerio is they all just sit there until Tribal Council.
-Tasha says she just wants to talk to you two (the two guys, I think?) and Garrett says he doesn't know why she wants to do that, it's all out in the open.
-She says, "This is Survivor, you talk."
-Garrett Super Whines, "I don't want to do that anymore."
-Tasha yells, "Then QUIT!" (Oh yeah, you tell him!) Tasha controls herself though, she tells him this is the least strategic game she's ever played. She tells the camera she doesn't know why Garrett thinks he's the leader of the tribe, he sits around all day, he's always hungry and now he doesn't
even want to play the game. If you don't want to play the game the way it should be played - get out of here.
-J'Tia can't believe they thought this was the way to go.
-Spencer also thinks that Garrett is an idiot. It would have been so easy to just tell J'Tia what she wanted to hear but now that he's put everything out in the open they have to baby sit these girls to make sure they go home.
-Somehow Tasha and Kass escaped down to the water and Tasha is ready to scramble and flip this game. She says to Kass this is the last time they'll have the numbers, they need to flip it so they are not 3 and 4 to the boys but 1 and 2 for themselves.... and boom, there is Garrett and Spencer - gnawing on some weird fruit like animals - having left J'Tia all alone in camp - BIG MISTAKE!
-J'Tia decides if she's going out, she's going out Crazy Hantz style - and she dumps all their rice into the fire. (Why? Why do you make it so impossible to root for you?) (She's got to go now, how can they keep her there?)
-The rest of the tribe comes back to camp and they see the rice in the fire... then it just seems like bad acting because no one really freaks out, that was all their rice - on the fire. And we get more of Garrett whining, that's why I wanted us all to stay up here. (This guy is a piece of work - his brain is not working with no food, that's often what happens with the super fit guys.)
Then the best line from Kass to the camera: "How did we come up with the criteria for brains? I'd like to see that data." (Hahaha!) Ironically she was going to approach J'Tia about turning this around and she's poured all their rice out - I can't align with someone like that.
TRIBAL COUNCIL #2
They tell Jeff Garrett decided to have an open forum discussion and they all pointed fingers at J'Tia. Tasha tried to talk to the guys separately but he would have none of it. He wanted Kass to know they were with her. J'Tia didn't know why Garrett got to call all the shots so wanting to hurt him she poured all the rice in the fire. Not her best moment (Y'think?)
Jeff gives them a lesson - the reason blindsides work is not because they're fun, it's cause they're effective.
Garrett does some more whining, J'Tia painting him in an unflattering light to his tribe mates is unfair (what?) and then he paints himself in a corner talking about an alliance, which Kass says she's not in and Tasha thought she was in... He just keeps digging the hole, the four of us are all equal. J'Tia, which four? It was pretty amusing - and I don't know who had crazier eyes, J'Tia pouring out the rice of Garrett's bug-eyed back-pedalling.
Time to vote:
Garrett votes J'Tia
J'Tia votes Garrett
Spencer votes J'Tia (he's genuinely scared that she's a nuclear engineer)
Tallying the votes:
No one plays a hidden immunity idol
J'Tia - 1
Garrett - 1
J'Tia - 2
Garrett - 2 (and now he looks scared)
Garrett - 3 Ha! Garrett is the 2nd person voted out.
(How did J'Tia escape again? She's magic!)
And with Garrett, Lois L, Kevin C and Lynne B are out of the pool. Well that was quick and crazy!
Garrett's final thoughts: He can't believe he left with a hidden immunity idol back at camp, he didn't even take it with him he was so sure how the vote was going to go. That was very embarrassing, very, very embarrassing. (Go have some chicken and vegetables, it'll make you feel better big guy.)
Next week, Tony confesses to one of the girls (I think it's Sarah) that he's been a cop for 13 years and the rain is proving to make this one beauty's Survivor nightmare.
Well, that was a long one, sorry guys, I'm out of practice but the episode was 2 hours. I'm kind of missing the blood vs water dynamic, not sure if I'm liking three tribes but we'll have to see how it plays out.
Have a great rest of the week everyone!
Coleen
