The Tears of a Clown
The 20th edition of the Amazing Race opened on the beautiful Santa Barbara, CA wine country - the 11 teams on this race around the world come into view on bicycles riding to the starting point - Phil Kheogan pulls out in front and leads them to the start and we meet them:
Dave & Cherie - married clowns from Tampa, FL - they believe in what goes around comes around and hope the good Karma they've built up through clowning will come around to them on the Race.
Bopper & Mark - lifetime friends from Kentucky - they're from the other side of the tracks and ain't got nothing - they are in it for the money (I hear banjos whenever Bopper talks.)
Misa & Maiya - sisters from San Diego, CA - they are golfers (one professional) and beautiful girls but they say there will be no crying - they know what it takes to win the Race.
Brendan & Rachel - recently engaged from Los Angeles, CA- they met on Big Brother (one reality show I never watch) apparently she won... when he said we won, she made sure to correct him. She also busted out the reality star staple... We're not here to make friends, we're here to win a million dollars.
Joey 'Fitness' & Danny - best friends from Long Island, NY - they live the guido lifestyle - the hair, the muscles, the tattoos... gag me.
Nary & Jamie - federal agents from Los Angeles, CA - chicks with big guns... watch out. They say being in a male dominated field they have to be tougher than the average person - doing this race will be cake to us. (Uh oh, cocky is never good to start out.)
Rachel & Dave - married 2 years from Madison, Wi - he's a major in the army and recently spent a year in Iraq - they changed a lot in that time and hope to reconnect on the Race (oh, and she has the hugest forehead - I'd even call it a fivehead.)
Elliot & Andrew - twin brothers from Scotsdale, Az - (um, yum!) Long hair is a musician, short hair is a professional soccer player - "We've gone our separate ways but we're twins - we're like life partners but we're not gay." "You can't say that dude." And then they laugh...(sigh.)
Kerri & Stacy - cousins from Mississippi - they try to say they're country girls, they like make up and hair but aren't afraid to get dirty - then they scream when a chicken flaps it's wings near them (uh, yup, country girls alright.)
Vanessa & Ralph - dating divorcees from San Antonio,Tx - she stalked him for years, both were previously married to other people and are going to keep the racing to around the world, not down the aisle.
Art & JJ - border patrol agents from Southern California - patrol the CA coastline - show them on ATV's on the sand, dramatic stop for the camera and they run into each other (Ha!) JJ says, it's like beauty and the beast and he thinks he's the beauty. (This is my team in the pool - let's go boys!)
Without further ado, they are off the bikes and dressed in their regular clothes - Phil tells them the winner of the first leg will win an Express Pass that they can use at any time before or during a challenge they don't want to complete up until the 8th leg. Their first clue is up in the air, literally. Behind them is a hilly vineyard with 100 small hot air balloons floating above it. They have to race among the grapevines pulling down the balloons and looking for a clue in the baskets beneath them - only 11 balloons have clues. Once they find a clue the teams will use a marked Ford Taurus to head to their next destination (I'm guessing the airport :)
Off they go - everybody's pulling down balloons before the clowns even get to the field (hmm, not much running in clown-town?) The twins Elliot & Andrew are the first to find a clue - Vanessa & Ralph are next and she's gasping, it's grueling running up that hill - the Guidos are the next to find the clue, then the Country cousins... The clue tells them to fly to Santa Barbara (uh, I thought they were in Santa Barbara?)
Once in the car, Phil comes on the nav-system and tells them they are flying to Santa Barbara, Argentina! (oooh!) Only the first six teams will get on the first connecting flight to Salta (closest airport to Santa Barbara) they will have a 2 1/2 hour lead on the other 5 teams.
The rest of the teams are finding clues until it's down to Bopper & Mark - Mark feels like he's going to throw up so Bopper tells him to throw up then and let's go - and the sisters Misa & Maiya, also finding the hills a killer but hoping they can find a clue before the last team... they don't. Bopper is so loud, "Show them what country boys is all about?" Mark, "Just calm down."
In the car Mark is hanging his head out the window, "Baking like a soupman(?) in a pot of taters, pull it over I'm gonna be sick." Bopper says they're racing for a million dollars he ain't pulling over to be sick - so Mark just hangs it out the window... Bopper, "When you got loot on the line like this baby, ya pee your pants if ya have to."
1hr 45min in, Misa & Maiya finally find the last clue.... but they'll be with 4 other teams on the flight to Argentina.
6 teams on the first connection are: Elliot & Andrew, Brendan & Rachel, Nary & Jamie, Art & JJ, Rachel & Dave and Vanessa & Ralph. When they land, they have to drive themselves to the town of Santa Barbara to get their next clue.
They hit the ground running - Art & JJ are currently first (Woo! my guys) they say it's better than currently last... and we cut to the 5 teams on the 2nd flight - Bopper & Mark lay it out, with them are the hawaiian girls (Misa & Maiya), the Jersey boys (guidos), the clowns and the girls from Mississippi - with the badonka-donk... (oh, boys.)
The first six teams make it to Santa Barbara and get the clue telling them to go to an airfield to get the next clue - meanwhile the second group has landed and are heading out for Santa Barbara - the clowns are in last place, seems Dave isn't good with a manual transmission and they lose sight of the pack - Cherie is quietly panicking and crying - spawing the title of the episode, Tears of a Clown.
At the airfield Art & JJ are the first to get the clue to the Roadblock, "Who's got a great sense of direction?" Art says he'll do it, then they read the clue - the person who said they'd do the challenge has to use a map to find their partner after the partner HAS JUMPED OUT OF AN AIRPLANE! (What! Haha, that's hilarious... and mean - the person not doing the "challenge" has to do the scary part... this should be interesting.) JJ is the first person NOT happy about this.
Brendan & Rachel are next - they say Brendan's got the sense of direction... so she's jumping.
Rachel & Dave also elect Dave as having the sense of direction and he's bummed that she gets to jump out of the plane. He totally wanted to skydive in Argentina (too bad, because so did she.)
Nary & Jamie - Jamie says she'll do it so Nary is skydiving.
Vanessa & Ralph - they say he's got the sense of direction and she is excited to be jumping.
Lastly it's the twins - and I still don't know who's who - does it matter?
JJ is getting suited up and he's not taking any pleasure in this - he doesn't like heights, feels like you're playing with death. (JJ is a little dramatic.)
Dave & Art form an interagency alliance between the border patrol & the army and confer on where they need to go to find the landing site. Once the plane is up in the air they can head out - and they all find the landing zone easily and wait for the jumping to begin.
Back on the plane - JJ is the first to go - he is thanking God when the parachute opens. All the girls are coming next and they all seem to be having a great time. It's phenomenal. They have to run through some sand to meet up with their partners but they all get the clue to head out for their next location.
The second wave of racers have arrived in Santa Barbara and get the clue to head to the airfield. One of the cousins with the badonka donk is already worried, she's deathly afraid of heights.
Oh, the long haired twin is Elliot. They are still jumping excitedly out of the airplane. Vanessa says her uterus is in her throat after jumping... (I like her.)
Back at the airfield, Red-neck Bopper says he's got the sense of direction so poor, quiet, puking Mark has to jump out of the airplane (I already feel so sorry for that guy, his partner is crazy.) And, of course, the girl who is deathly afraid of heights(Stacy), is the one jumping out of the plane....
-The plane goes up and everyone seems excited except Stacy.
-The partners head out on the road and Bopper drops his front teeth out to the camera (HA! He's got false teeth - that one's for my brother Jeff :).
-Guido Danny can't drive a stick-shift... really? Have you never seen the race before? I can't drive stick either, but if I were going on the Race, I would learn. He knew he should, but didn't bother (yeah, I could see the last of these guys no problem.)
The border patrol (Art & JJ) and Brendan & Rachel are the first teams to arrive at the next location and Brendan says he's half Mexican, he hates the border patrol for a reason... wow, early animosity, I think it's the adrenaline pumping - they get the clue to compete in an Empanada contest - they have to make 120 empanada's - 60 meat filled and 60 cheese filled. They must watch a demonstration and figure out that there are specific crimping patterns for the edges and they're different depending on the filling. Once the empanada lady is satisfied with their food, they can race to the Pit Stop (there on the grounds) the first team will win the Express Pass, the last team will be eliminated.
Art & JJ watch the ladies making the empanadas for a minute then take off to get started (noo..)
Brendan & Rachel take a bit more time and she figures out the crimping is different (yes, my guys are dumb.) Dave & Rachel (5head) get there and see the crimping difference too.
Back up in the air - the next 5 teams are jumping out of the airplane - Mark, Danny and Misa - she said she loved the floating feeling, it was a once in a lifetime opportunity she'd never forget.
Back at empanada-ville - the judge tells Art & JJ - "No" they run back to the demo and realize they have to be different (Whoops!) They're finding filling dough frustrating, they know how to grill a steak.
Ralph & Vanessa are just hungry - he wants to eat so bad, she says, "No joke, I just want to rub my face in this."
Back up in the sky, Stacy is freaking out about having to jump out of the plane - but their teammates are having trouble on the ground - guido keeps stalling the car and Maiya pulls over at the wrong spot and gets her car stuck in loose sand...
Mark is landing and he feels sick... again(I think he has motion sickness issues, which should be fun on the race.) Joey "fitness" and Misa come in for hard landings but all is well. Stacey is still in the plane... she realizes she has to do this for her kids or they'll think it's okay to run away from your fears (whatever gets you out the door.) Once she jumped she said, "it felt so good, it was liberating... but - I'll never jump out of a plane again."
Misa gets help from passersby to get her truck out of the sand - but she is the last one to get to the drop zone.
At the empanada contest the teams are starting to finish up and are asking for the judge to take a look - she rejects Brendan & Rachel's - on to Art & JJ - nope, not twisty enough - "She was like the empanada nazi." Dave & Rachel (5head) are the first to get the thumbs up and they run out to the lawn where...
Here's how the first wave finished:
1) Dave & Rachel: Phil greated them as Team #1 - they won the Express Pass.
2) Brendan & Rachel - bad attitude already cost them first place this time (in my opinion.)
3) Art & JJ - what a fricken day
4) Nary & Jamie - didn't say much but they are looking strong
5) Vanessa & Ralph - woo
6) Elliot & Andrew - yum!
The rest of the teams are arriving now at the empanada contest...
-Bopper, "I've never made pinatas before." Mark, "They're not pinatas, they're empan....ugh, call them whatever ya want then." (Hahaha... the backwoods boys are pretty amusing.)
-The Guidos are mangling those poor pockets - Danny never cooks -they're used to lifting weights not doing detail work (and the flies buzzing around do not make me want to try any of this food.)
-Misa & Maiya are the last ones to arrive and as they run in they wonder if they'll need their bags but they say nah. (hmm, do they need they're bags to check in?)
They like gyoza so they are having no problem making the empanadas.
-Kerri & Stacey are the stars of this challenge though - they breeze through this and Misa says, "Double bubble" just finished (ha, apparently they are bootylicious.)
Here's how the rest finished:
7) Kerri & Stacey - my Mom is not the first one out of the pool for once :)
8) Dave & Cheri - clowns can cook!
9) Bopper & Mark - Phil even high 10'd them.
Down to the guidos and the sisters - Misa & Maiya finish first but run out to get their bags... they run out to the lawn and Phil points, there's the next team - but the girls don't see him... they run back around the front of the house... what? Phil was standing right there, looking shocked...
10) Joey "Fitness" & Danny - Oh My Gosh!
11) Misa & Maiya - ***ELIMINATED*** Phil says you were standing right there - that has never happened before, for a team to be right there at the mat and have another team overtake them. Maiya said they were so focused they had tunnel vision and didn't even see him there. She said they had so much heart (but not so much smart apparently. And they broke their vow, there was crying.)
Also with Misa & Maiya eliminated first, Lindsay J, Robert L, Esther B, Denise R and Kim B get their stake back from the pool and now can root for whomever they choose.
So, there you have it - the Race started out strong, and looks like it's gonna be a good one - spills, chills, fights, tears... oh yeah!
Have a great week everyone,
Coleen
The 20th edition of the Amazing Race opened on the beautiful Santa Barbara, CA wine country - the 11 teams on this race around the world come into view on bicycles riding to the starting point - Phil Kheogan pulls out in front and leads them to the start and we meet them:
Dave & Cherie - married clowns from Tampa, FL - they believe in what goes around comes around and hope the good Karma they've built up through clowning will come around to them on the Race.
Bopper & Mark - lifetime friends from Kentucky - they're from the other side of the tracks and ain't got nothing - they are in it for the money (I hear banjos whenever Bopper talks.)
Misa & Maiya - sisters from San Diego, CA - they are golfers (one professional) and beautiful girls but they say there will be no crying - they know what it takes to win the Race.
Brendan & Rachel - recently engaged from Los Angeles, CA- they met on Big Brother (one reality show I never watch) apparently she won... when he said we won, she made sure to correct him. She also busted out the reality star staple... We're not here to make friends, we're here to win a million dollars.
Joey 'Fitness' & Danny - best friends from Long Island, NY - they live the guido lifestyle - the hair, the muscles, the tattoos... gag me.
Nary & Jamie - federal agents from Los Angeles, CA - chicks with big guns... watch out. They say being in a male dominated field they have to be tougher than the average person - doing this race will be cake to us. (Uh oh, cocky is never good to start out.)
Rachel & Dave - married 2 years from Madison, Wi - he's a major in the army and recently spent a year in Iraq - they changed a lot in that time and hope to reconnect on the Race (oh, and she has the hugest forehead - I'd even call it a fivehead.)
Elliot & Andrew - twin brothers from Scotsdale, Az - (um, yum!) Long hair is a musician, short hair is a professional soccer player - "We've gone our separate ways but we're twins - we're like life partners but we're not gay." "You can't say that dude." And then they laugh...(sigh.)
Kerri & Stacy - cousins from Mississippi - they try to say they're country girls, they like make up and hair but aren't afraid to get dirty - then they scream when a chicken flaps it's wings near them (uh, yup, country girls alright.)
Vanessa & Ralph - dating divorcees from San Antonio,Tx - she stalked him for years, both were previously married to other people and are going to keep the racing to around the world, not down the aisle.
Art & JJ - border patrol agents from Southern California - patrol the CA coastline - show them on ATV's on the sand, dramatic stop for the camera and they run into each other (Ha!) JJ says, it's like beauty and the beast and he thinks he's the beauty. (This is my team in the pool - let's go boys!)
Without further ado, they are off the bikes and dressed in their regular clothes - Phil tells them the winner of the first leg will win an Express Pass that they can use at any time before or during a challenge they don't want to complete up until the 8th leg. Their first clue is up in the air, literally. Behind them is a hilly vineyard with 100 small hot air balloons floating above it. They have to race among the grapevines pulling down the balloons and looking for a clue in the baskets beneath them - only 11 balloons have clues. Once they find a clue the teams will use a marked Ford Taurus to head to their next destination (I'm guessing the airport :)
Off they go - everybody's pulling down balloons before the clowns even get to the field (hmm, not much running in clown-town?) The twins Elliot & Andrew are the first to find a clue - Vanessa & Ralph are next and she's gasping, it's grueling running up that hill - the Guidos are the next to find the clue, then the Country cousins... The clue tells them to fly to Santa Barbara (uh, I thought they were in Santa Barbara?)
Once in the car, Phil comes on the nav-system and tells them they are flying to Santa Barbara, Argentina! (oooh!) Only the first six teams will get on the first connecting flight to Salta (closest airport to Santa Barbara) they will have a 2 1/2 hour lead on the other 5 teams.
The rest of the teams are finding clues until it's down to Bopper & Mark - Mark feels like he's going to throw up so Bopper tells him to throw up then and let's go - and the sisters Misa & Maiya, also finding the hills a killer but hoping they can find a clue before the last team... they don't. Bopper is so loud, "Show them what country boys is all about?" Mark, "Just calm down."
In the car Mark is hanging his head out the window, "Baking like a soupman(?) in a pot of taters, pull it over I'm gonna be sick." Bopper says they're racing for a million dollars he ain't pulling over to be sick - so Mark just hangs it out the window... Bopper, "When you got loot on the line like this baby, ya pee your pants if ya have to."
1hr 45min in, Misa & Maiya finally find the last clue.... but they'll be with 4 other teams on the flight to Argentina.
6 teams on the first connection are: Elliot & Andrew, Brendan & Rachel, Nary & Jamie, Art & JJ, Rachel & Dave and Vanessa & Ralph. When they land, they have to drive themselves to the town of Santa Barbara to get their next clue.
They hit the ground running - Art & JJ are currently first (Woo! my guys) they say it's better than currently last... and we cut to the 5 teams on the 2nd flight - Bopper & Mark lay it out, with them are the hawaiian girls (Misa & Maiya), the Jersey boys (guidos), the clowns and the girls from Mississippi - with the badonka-donk... (oh, boys.)
The first six teams make it to Santa Barbara and get the clue telling them to go to an airfield to get the next clue - meanwhile the second group has landed and are heading out for Santa Barbara - the clowns are in last place, seems Dave isn't good with a manual transmission and they lose sight of the pack - Cherie is quietly panicking and crying - spawing the title of the episode, Tears of a Clown.
At the airfield Art & JJ are the first to get the clue to the Roadblock, "Who's got a great sense of direction?" Art says he'll do it, then they read the clue - the person who said they'd do the challenge has to use a map to find their partner after the partner HAS JUMPED OUT OF AN AIRPLANE! (What! Haha, that's hilarious... and mean - the person not doing the "challenge" has to do the scary part... this should be interesting.) JJ is the first person NOT happy about this.
Brendan & Rachel are next - they say Brendan's got the sense of direction... so she's jumping.
Rachel & Dave also elect Dave as having the sense of direction and he's bummed that she gets to jump out of the plane. He totally wanted to skydive in Argentina (too bad, because so did she.)
Nary & Jamie - Jamie says she'll do it so Nary is skydiving.
Vanessa & Ralph - they say he's got the sense of direction and she is excited to be jumping.
Lastly it's the twins - and I still don't know who's who - does it matter?
JJ is getting suited up and he's not taking any pleasure in this - he doesn't like heights, feels like you're playing with death. (JJ is a little dramatic.)
Dave & Art form an interagency alliance between the border patrol & the army and confer on where they need to go to find the landing site. Once the plane is up in the air they can head out - and they all find the landing zone easily and wait for the jumping to begin.
Back on the plane - JJ is the first to go - he is thanking God when the parachute opens. All the girls are coming next and they all seem to be having a great time. It's phenomenal. They have to run through some sand to meet up with their partners but they all get the clue to head out for their next location.
The second wave of racers have arrived in Santa Barbara and get the clue to head to the airfield. One of the cousins with the badonka donk is already worried, she's deathly afraid of heights.
Oh, the long haired twin is Elliot. They are still jumping excitedly out of the airplane. Vanessa says her uterus is in her throat after jumping... (I like her.)
Back at the airfield, Red-neck Bopper says he's got the sense of direction so poor, quiet, puking Mark has to jump out of the airplane (I already feel so sorry for that guy, his partner is crazy.) And, of course, the girl who is deathly afraid of heights(Stacy), is the one jumping out of the plane....
-The plane goes up and everyone seems excited except Stacy.
-The partners head out on the road and Bopper drops his front teeth out to the camera (HA! He's got false teeth - that one's for my brother Jeff :).
-Guido Danny can't drive a stick-shift... really? Have you never seen the race before? I can't drive stick either, but if I were going on the Race, I would learn. He knew he should, but didn't bother (yeah, I could see the last of these guys no problem.)
The border patrol (Art & JJ) and Brendan & Rachel are the first teams to arrive at the next location and Brendan says he's half Mexican, he hates the border patrol for a reason... wow, early animosity, I think it's the adrenaline pumping - they get the clue to compete in an Empanada contest - they have to make 120 empanada's - 60 meat filled and 60 cheese filled. They must watch a demonstration and figure out that there are specific crimping patterns for the edges and they're different depending on the filling. Once the empanada lady is satisfied with their food, they can race to the Pit Stop (there on the grounds) the first team will win the Express Pass, the last team will be eliminated.
Art & JJ watch the ladies making the empanadas for a minute then take off to get started (noo..)
Brendan & Rachel take a bit more time and she figures out the crimping is different (yes, my guys are dumb.) Dave & Rachel (5head) get there and see the crimping difference too.
Back up in the air - the next 5 teams are jumping out of the airplane - Mark, Danny and Misa - she said she loved the floating feeling, it was a once in a lifetime opportunity she'd never forget.
Back at empanada-ville - the judge tells Art & JJ - "No" they run back to the demo and realize they have to be different (Whoops!) They're finding filling dough frustrating, they know how to grill a steak.
Ralph & Vanessa are just hungry - he wants to eat so bad, she says, "No joke, I just want to rub my face in this."
Back up in the sky, Stacy is freaking out about having to jump out of the plane - but their teammates are having trouble on the ground - guido keeps stalling the car and Maiya pulls over at the wrong spot and gets her car stuck in loose sand...
Mark is landing and he feels sick... again(I think he has motion sickness issues, which should be fun on the race.) Joey "fitness" and Misa come in for hard landings but all is well. Stacey is still in the plane... she realizes she has to do this for her kids or they'll think it's okay to run away from your fears (whatever gets you out the door.) Once she jumped she said, "it felt so good, it was liberating... but - I'll never jump out of a plane again."
Misa gets help from passersby to get her truck out of the sand - but she is the last one to get to the drop zone.
At the empanada contest the teams are starting to finish up and are asking for the judge to take a look - she rejects Brendan & Rachel's - on to Art & JJ - nope, not twisty enough - "She was like the empanada nazi." Dave & Rachel (5head) are the first to get the thumbs up and they run out to the lawn where...
Here's how the first wave finished:
1) Dave & Rachel: Phil greated them as Team #1 - they won the Express Pass.
2) Brendan & Rachel - bad attitude already cost them first place this time (in my opinion.)
3) Art & JJ - what a fricken day
4) Nary & Jamie - didn't say much but they are looking strong
5) Vanessa & Ralph - woo
6) Elliot & Andrew - yum!
The rest of the teams are arriving now at the empanada contest...
-Bopper, "I've never made pinatas before." Mark, "They're not pinatas, they're empan....ugh, call them whatever ya want then." (Hahaha... the backwoods boys are pretty amusing.)
-The Guidos are mangling those poor pockets - Danny never cooks -they're used to lifting weights not doing detail work (and the flies buzzing around do not make me want to try any of this food.)
-Misa & Maiya are the last ones to arrive and as they run in they wonder if they'll need their bags but they say nah. (hmm, do they need they're bags to check in?)
They like gyoza so they are having no problem making the empanadas.
-Kerri & Stacey are the stars of this challenge though - they breeze through this and Misa says, "Double bubble" just finished (ha, apparently they are bootylicious.)
Here's how the rest finished:
7) Kerri & Stacey - my Mom is not the first one out of the pool for once :)
8) Dave & Cheri - clowns can cook!
9) Bopper & Mark - Phil even high 10'd them.
Down to the guidos and the sisters - Misa & Maiya finish first but run out to get their bags... they run out to the lawn and Phil points, there's the next team - but the girls don't see him... they run back around the front of the house... what? Phil was standing right there, looking shocked...
10) Joey "Fitness" & Danny - Oh My Gosh!
11) Misa & Maiya - ***ELIMINATED*** Phil says you were standing right there - that has never happened before, for a team to be right there at the mat and have another team overtake them. Maiya said they were so focused they had tunnel vision and didn't even see him there. She said they had so much heart (but not so much smart apparently. And they broke their vow, there was crying.)
Also with Misa & Maiya eliminated first, Lindsay J, Robert L, Esther B, Denise R and Kim B get their stake back from the pool and now can root for whomever they choose.
So, there you have it - the Race started out strong, and looks like it's gonna be a good one - spills, chills, fights, tears... oh yeah!
Have a great week everyone,
Coleen
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