Monday, March 4, 2013

Amazing Race 22 - March 3/13 Episode Recap

Like James Bond Again

The episode opened with us finding out the extent of the damage Dad/Dave has done to his Achilles tendon - the doctor tells him he's torn the muscle and he needs to go get a scan to find out the extent of the damage.  And Dave is crying - again - because of all they've been through with surviving cancer and wanting to do well on the Race with his son... it's heartbreaking (dammit! Don't make me cry in the first 2 minutes.)

-Bates & Anthony are the first team to head out the next day at 8:54am - they read the clue to make their way to Christchurch, New Zealand - Phil Kheogan's home town (the host).  Once there they get to Christchurch (looks like they'll all have to take two connecting flights through Tahiti and Auckland) they'll drive themselves in Ford Focus' (product placement very important) to the Rakaia River Gorge.
-Dave & Connor are heading out right behind them at 8:55am - Dave's on crutches and we find out they're going to see the doctor in Tahiti, get a sonogram of his leg and hopefully stay in the race.
-John & Jessica, a minute later 8:56am - John has changed his tune and says they're going to stay true to their word and give the 2nd Express Pass to Dave & Connor, especially now that they're injured they won't be as competitive and John's hoping they can help them beat the Hockey Players.
-Joey & Meghan (You-Tubers) head out at 9:00am - Joey is very high energy - he would drive me crazy with the "Raise the Roof, Raise the Roof, Going to New Zealand!"
-Chuck/the Mullet & Wynona head out at 9:01am - they have never been out of the USA - except for Niagara Falls - and they thought that was a long way from Alabama - they are learning as they go (I just got to say it must be humid in Bora Bora cause that curly mullet seems to be getting bigger as he speaks.)
-Roller Derby Moms Mona & Beth head out at 9:06am - everyone seems excited to be going to New Zealand.

At the airport - The Hockey Players are booking their tickets on a flight leaving right away and John & Jessica are getting the last seats - John snivels up to the boys, "did you get tickets on the early flight?" trying to make it seem like he was taking their seats or something... I don't know.  Bates & Anthony think John's shady, they don't like his snively ways (their words... but I agree.)  The Hockey Players know John & Jessica are a team to watch out for.
-Dave & Connor are at the airport with everyone and they tell Jessica & John they have to go to the hospital - She says "We have to give this to them right now" and they hand over the Express Pass.  To Dave & Connor it could be a game changer/life saver.  And the exchange did not go unnoticed by the Hockey Players, "I guess no one will be kissing their butts now."  Dave & Connor hoped no one saw the exchange (but they were not so lucky.)
-And the first flight takes off. 9am

-The next flight doesn't leave until 11:35am - Roller Derby Moms, You-Tubers and The Mullet & Wife are buying tickets.  Chuck is working the counter woman hard, as Wynona would say - asking for the same tickets before anyone else comes... he's too down-home to seem dastardly though.

-The Country Singers are now starting the leg, 10:49am - they say they did great yesterday, starting out with a 4hr penalty and they still came in 7th - they're going to make their way up or down to #1, depending on how you look at it (well, normal people would say up to #1... weirdo.)
-Horrible newlyweds Max & Katie are heading out behind them 11:08am - being 8th these two don't seem so bad, but I have a feeling if they were doing better they'd be insufferable.

-First flight with the Hockey Players and John & Jessica lands at first connection airport in Tahiti - they run for the ticket counters and... everything is closed. They ask at information and find out the next flight out doesn't leave until 8:30am - the next day. (OHHH!)

-Second flight heads out at 11:35am with Dave & Connor on board, when they get to Tahiti, Dave is going to see the specialist and find out if he can move forward. (What, hasn't he gone to the doctor yet?)

-Pam & Winnie are last to depart at 11:48am - they say this leg they are going to think before they act (always a good idea.)

-Dave's diagnosis, he's got a small tear in the muscle and the Achilles' tendon - they go and get him a boot and he's still on crutches.  Looks like he's going to try and complete this leg... or go as far as he can.

-John & Jess see the Hockey Players as their main competition and their strategy to beat them is to foster another alliance - this time with the You-tubers and Roller Derby Moms - they are going to share information and band together to take the Hockey Players out. (As a Canadian - I have to say BOOOO!)
-Meanwhile the Country Singers are buddy buddy with the Hockey brothers, getting cardboard for them all to sleep on, on the floor in the airport. Anthony, "It only took us two days to get them in bed." (Ha!)

-Next morning, they are all on the same flight to Auckland, they aren't sure what the connection will be like there... it's a mad dash off the plane and Winnie & Pam snag the only tickets on the first flight on to Christchurch at 5pm.
-Second flight is at 5:30 - teams on that flight: John & Jess, Mona & Beth, Meghan & Joey and Dave & Connor
-Third flight - Bates & Anthony, Caroline & Jennifer.
 -Chuck & Wynona try to cut a line, "We're in a race can we cut in front?"  Everyone ignores them - Tahiti does not respect the power of the mullet.
-Horrible Honeymooners Katie & Max are on standby for the 5:30 flight and they notice the new buddy buddy relationship between the You-Tubers and Roller Moms... they also make that flight.
-Chuck & Wynona have been in the wrong place to buy tickets, the woman tells them to use the phone and they get tickets on the 7:30pm flight. Chuck thinks he's brilliant and has cut the line to get tickets... not realizing that they are the dead last team now.(Oh yokels, don't get me eliminated from this pool so soon.)

OMG! Survivor commercials shows someone may be pulled due to medical reasons - eek!

-Chuck & Wynona can't find anybody left in the airport and they have a sinking feeling in their guts that they're last.  (Trust your guts.)

-First flight/Pam & Winnie land in Christchurch and hop in the car to drive to the Rakaia River Gorge.  Once there they must pull a number to reserve a jet boat that will take them up river to get their next clue... which involves helmets and quads.
-Second flight arrives and the teams are running for the cars - Dave is moving really well on his crutches, Connor tries to get him to be careful but Dave's determined to keep up...(until he injures himself again - take the escalator, no he's taking the stairs - jeez.)
-Third flight lands with Hockey Players and Country Singers, they're not happy to see only 3 cars left - the Country Singers are very comfortable in their alliance with the boys (do the brothers know you're in an alliance?)

-Pam & Winnie are admiring the beautiful landscape and get lost (again?  I think these two are map- reading challenged.)
-Bates & Anthony are following the Country Singers and Anthony's complaining about their driving... they are kinda all over the place.

First team to get to the River Gorge is... Dave & Connor! (Way to go Hop-Along!)  Followed by John & Jess, You-Tubers and Horrible Honeymoon.  They have to grab numbers off the sign for the Jet Boat tours and they realize the jet boats don't leave until the next day (again) and they will be sleeping in tents set up right there on the riverbank. (Jet boat tours run 6am to 7pm)

-Chuck & Wynona are the last team to arrive in Christchurch - Chuck goes to jump in the car on the wrong side to drive (it is right-hand drive over there).

-It's dark by the time the Country Singers and Hockey players get to the gorge.  The girls get down to the sign first and prove they are blond when they almost miss grabbing their number... Bates was running for the sign when she finally realized and snatched #7 right before he could. (Sheesh).

6AM the next morning - Dave & Connor are the first team to go - they know they probably won't make it much farther on that leg but they're going to try and go as far as they can, if that means using the Express Pass, they'll do it. Crying Dad says he wants to finish this for [Connor].
-They actually get to drive the Jet boats - everyone is having a great time - feels like James Bond again... or Miami Vice.

-Dave & Connor are the first team to get to the clue box and get the clue for the DETOUR: Rev it Up or Reel it In. First they must drive themselves on all-terrain vehicles to the start (Wow, Phil is looking really skinny)
-In Rev It Up: Both team members must get behind the wheel of a modified vintage car (they look like Le Car, remember those?) and make it through a series of cones in under 83 seconds.  Once they complete the course in the allotted time, they will get the next clue.
-In Reel It In: Each team member must use a rod & reel to catch one fish each that is at least 12 inches long.  Once they've caught their limit, they'll get the next clue.
-Seems like a no brainer for Dave & Connor to do the fishing... and they choose Rev It Up (really?)
-The next three teams - John & Jess, Joey & Meghan and Max & Katie are all going to rev it up.  Joey, "I've heard fishing is hard." (Ha, it's not hard as much as it is... really boring. (Sorry Dad.) But it can take a long time.)
-Last four teams are now in the jet boats heading for the Detour.

-Dave & Connor get to Rev It Up and see they will have to drive a car, Dave asks if there is a clutch and it's a yes... he says he can't drive a standard with his leg like that - they have to switch tasks.  Connor, "There goes our chances." (Wow, ungrateful little sh*t.)  Dad, "Well, let's use the Express Pass." Connor, "No, no no."

-All the other teams are choosing Rev it Up except Chuck & Wynona - they are Goin' Fishin!

-So now John & Jess are the first team to start the Rev It Up course and John's having trouble getting the car into 2nd, and the back wheels aren't turning??  OH, he realizes he's left the parking brake on, and... they are starting again.

-Dave & Connor are going to give it 5 minutes fishing then they might use the Express Pass.  Dave is fishing with the helmet and goggles on, in case a dangerous fish comes for his head ?  And Connor has a tangle.

-John gets through his first run in 40sec. but Jess takes 44... they are over and have to go again.
-Joey & Meghan start Rev it Up and it doesn't look like he drives a standard... and he's giggling the whole time.  He took 46 sec. Said it felt like he was in a video game.
-Max & Katie are also starting their driving run - she's telling him to go fast because she's probably going to be slower. (Yes, dear.) And she's criticizing him, telling him how to drive... and he took 55 seconds.
-Meghan took 46 seconds as well (giving them a 92sec total) they are going again.
-Katie just learned to drive stick shift before the Race - she starts rough but makes it through - they are way over though and have to try again.  She asks if he wants to change and he says no.

-Back at Ye 'Ol Fishin' Hole - Connor & Dave decide to cut their losses and use the Express Pass - they get the clue to drive themselves to Mt. Hutt Station and look for their next clue.

-John & Jess are the first team to crack the 83seconds (they get a 78) and they get the clue to head for Mt Hutt Station.
-Meghan & Joey get an 82 sec. and they head out.
-Max & Katie are still over but she's making it in 40 seconds, she says to him, "Who would have thought you were the Albatross in this." (Really lady? She's got a thing or two to learn about being supportive.)
-Pam & Winnie get to Rev it Up and they have to move the driver's seat up so far for her to reach the pedals, I'm surprised she didn't need a block on the pedal.  And she's not very good with the stick shift driving. Stalls it.
-Roller Derby Moms, Country Singers and Hockey Players are all now in the little cars trying to make 83 seconds.

-Mullet & Wife have arrived at Reel it In and she says they thought they'd take a chance on this - Chuck's a really great fisherman and she's gone in the boat... (been there, not fun.)  She hopes she catches a fish before him (me too!)

-Country singers are at 108 secs - one of them just learned to drive a stick shift for the Race. (That would be me.)
-Roller Derby Moms finish in 81 seconds and are off for Mt Hutt.
-Max is on his 4th run (and I swear he'd do better if she'd just shut the &%@# up.) Wow, that's a huge spin out... and she says, "You're killin' us."  He doesn't know what the heck's going on (I know, you married a harridan.)

-Dave & Connor are in the car heading for Mt Hutt Station and Dave says he knows where they're going (I hope that's true.)
-John & Jess are heading out right behind them... and he gets in the passenger seat - Right Hand Drive!  "I hate it when I do that."
-Joey & Meghan  and the Roller Derby Moms are also heading for Mt Hutt Station.
-Hockey guys are the next team to beat 83 seconds - they head for Mt Hutt.
-Max & Katie finally hit 83 seconds exactly and they head out.
-Pam & Winnie make it in 80 seconds and head out.

And Chuck & Wynona are fishing... they both catch fish and they are both over 12 inches - good for them.  They throw them back and Wynona cries, "Ew, that was disgusting" as she wipes her hands on her pants (great, now you're going to smell like fish all day...smooth.)

-Country Singers are the last team at Rev it Up - and they make it at 82 seconds.  But they are now in last place.

Dave & Connor are the first team to Mt Hutt Station and they get the clue for the ROADBLOCK: Who wants to try and keep their race from going to the dogs? (I'm thinking that's Connor.)  They will have to go through a muddy obstacle course known as a Shemozzle.  They will have to wear rubber boots, stubby shorts, and a burlap sack then choose a shepherd with his dog and be covered in molasses and feathers, then run through the course collecting chicken eggs - once they deliver 12 unbroken eggs to the finish line, a shepherd will give them the next clue.  Connor is getting suited up.

-John & Jessica went in the wrong direction and are lost.

-Connor is suited up and the shepherd and dog go with him through the course (what is this?) First they climb in what looks like an old metal chicken coop or combine... inside is molasses so he gets coated - the dog & shepherd as well, he's being guided to find the eggs. And there are little boys handing him eggs along the way. Next is the feather tube, then he has to climb stacked hay bales and slide down a slip & slide/water slide... Connor is able to deliver 5 unbroken eggs on his first pass... and he has to go again. (Oof, there is no way Dave could have done this.)

-Roller Derby Moms are also lost on the road - looks like they went the wrong direction as well but they flagged down a car and got turned around.

-Connor gets 5 more eggs and has to go one more time to reach 12.

-Katie & Max are in the car and she's backseat driving like no one I've ever seen - she makes him pull a U-turn because she saw a sign for Mt Hutt Station... Rd - KATIE!  They tell the camera that they both like to be in control, he's a fiery Italian and she's a cold German... She says she's 24, has her doctorate and is a pharmacist so she's always right... back to the car and she's berating him constantly - (I would want to shoot myself.)
-They come upon the Hockey Brothers on the road and pass them - Bates hopes they know where they're going - he's okay to follow them.  But they don't know where they're going either.  They also have to get directions from a local... and she blames Max, of course.  He just hopes it wasn't that road she told him to go on (Because then he'd never hear the end of it.)

-Back at Mt Hutt Station, Connor has collected all 12 eggs and they get the clue to head to the Pit Stop - they have to drive themselves to Terrace Downs, a world renowned adventure retreat.  The last team May be eliminated.

Jess & John finally find Mt Hutt Station Rd (Oh Max, you're in for it) and John thinks this will be right up his alley. 
-Winnie is going to do it and also Chuck/the Mullet (oh, that hair is going to be disgusting in molasses), one of the country Singers (I still don't know who's who) Oh, it's Jen, Meghan and Mona are all Shemozzling.
-Chuck was happier than a pig in sh... well, you know what.  He was passing everyone on the course enjoying it as he went.  Wynona was so glad she didn't choose to do this one, they'd be there all day.
-John's at 8 eggs, Chuck got 4, Winnie got 5 - they're all heading back up the hill.

-We find out Jenn grew up in Beverly Hills and this is not something she's used to - but her Shepherd's dog's name is Duke and John Wayne is her grandfather and he was known as the Duke so it must be a sign.

-Hockey players finally get to the Roadblock and Anthony is doing this one. (With or without the teeth?)
-It was on Mt Hutt Station Rd and Katie told [Max] so. But she's also going to do this task (oh boy, I hope he's prepared for even more wrath when she gets dirty.)
-John's finished the shemozzle with his 12th egg.
-Winnie finishes, Jenn finishes (and just misses being smoked by Anthony coming down the water slide thingy)

-Dave & Connor are bittersweet driving to the Pit Stop, they know they won't make it much farther in the Race with Dad's leg the way it is.

Here's How They Finished:
1) Dave & Connor - they won a trip to Bangkok and a Thai boxing class.  Phil tells them the Race is still going and hands them their next clue (whaaatt?) "Are you up for this guys?"
Crying Dad says he thinks he might have to focus on recovery but... TO BE CONTINUED!  Oh man!  They left it up in the air, are they quitting or pushing on...?

Next week: Will Dave & Connor drop out?  The Race continues in Bali, Joey talks down to monkeys and Caroline breaks down on a memory challenge (hey, someone besides Dave is crying for once.) And we're all still in the pool... for now.

Have a great week everyone,
Coleen

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