Sunday, March 24, 2013

Amazing Race 22 - March 24/13 Episode Recap

Scorpion King Hunter

They showed us a brief recap of the tearful Dave & Connor resigning from the Race last week which allowed the struggling Mullet/Chuck & Wynona to remain in the Race despite coming in last.

Pam & Winnie are the first team to head out on this leg at 10:40pm, they get the clue to make their way from Hanoi, Vietnam to Maun in the Kalahari Desert.  They need to figure out that they have to fly to Botswana - once there they have to sign up for one of three flights that will take them to the National Park on the edge of the Kalahari Desert.
-Pam & Winnie are hoping this first place finish means they are getting into a rhythm on the Race but they know they have to keep sharp especially since they U-Turned Joey & Meghan, Jazz Hands/Joey is going to be gunning for them.   They use the Internet at a hotel and figure out they are heading to Botswana.

-Newlyweds Max & Katie are the next team to head out at 11:34pm, they want to keep the fact that Katie has a doctorate and is really smart a secret, "Big hair, big brain." (What? Why would it matter?  I can't stand these two.) Max is proud they proved how smart they were by also using the computer at the hotel to figure out they're going to Botswana (watch out everyone, they're ready for brain surgery.)

-Roller Moms/Mona & Beth are heading out right after them at 11:37pm - they are trying to figure out what country Maun is in by looking at a map... they have to know where they want to go or the security at the travel agency won't let them inside.  Beth says they are one of the three remaining all-girl teams on the race and people are starting to realize they are good at everything, "oh, that sounded very arrogant, we're not good at everything." (No big hair, big brain?)

-Hockey Brothers are next out at 11:39pm - Anthony thinks Maun is in Kenya... (might want to double check.)  They believe they are working well together and they are enjoying spending as much time with the Country Singers as they can - 12 out of 10 Bates rates them (oh boys).  Now they want to break from the middle of the pack and move up.

-Country Singers/Caroline & Jen are next out at 11:46pm - they are so excited to be heading to Africa.  They say their ultimate final three is; themselves, Bates & Anthony and Max & Katie (ugh.) Caroline says Jenn has a baby crush on Bates (ooh) - and they also think Maun is in Kenya.

-Pam & Winnie are the first team to the travel agency and they give the right password - Botswana - to be let in.  They find out the first flight is at 10:45am, so everyone will catch up again.
-Max & Katie get to the travel agents and get in no problem.
-Mona & Beth get there then ask people on the street if they can use their smart phone to look up Maun.
-Caroline & Jen get to the travel agent and say Kenya - the guy won't let them in - then Katie (who is inside) tells them it's Botswana and they are allowed entry (when did this friendship happen?  Is it just the pretty blonds banding together?)
-Roller Moms find out their destination is Botswana on the smart phone and head inside.
-Hockey boys show up and say Kenya - but Caroline sticks her head out and tells them it's Botswana (Wow, there is a lot of co-operation going on this leg so far... they better be careful or they'll be targets too - of course that wouldn't cross their minds, they're the pretty people after all, who could want them out?)

-Joey & Meghan are 6th to start out at 12:47am - they weren't popular in high school and this [U-Turning] feels similar, but it's okay, they can't keep us down, we'll come back. (You go Geeks!)

-And finally Chuck/the Mullet & Wynona start out at 3:26am - they were shocked they were U-Turned they didn't think they'd be seen as a strong enough team to warrant it - but they aren't ready "to throw in the towel or get divorced or nothing" - they're going to keep doing their best.

-Joey & Meghan are happy to find out they are on the same flight as everyone else, that's what they wanted, an even playing field.

-Chuck & Wynona at the travel agency just start randomly guessing countries, Kenya, Paraguay, Australia, Turkey... No, no, no, no... Chuck asks to borrow the cab drivers phone and finally Boats-Wana? Yes!

-Chuck & Wynona found out it was Joey & Meghan that U-turned them, they have hard feelings.  At the airport, Joey & Meghan decide to go talk to them and try to smooth it over but hell hath no fury like a Red-neck scorned.  Wynona, "What was it, eeny, meany, miney, moe - Chuck and Wynona gotta go?" (Ha! She's a poet.)
-Joey goes and talks to Pam & Winnie and the Country Singers to find out what prize they stole from them (trip to Whistler) and he comes  back with the impression that it was a group decision that they were going to be U-Turned - the rest of them better watch out now! (They sound like cute little cartoon characters, I can't take them seriously.)

-All the teams board the flight to Maun, Botswana and Chuck says they have got to get on the first charter flight otherwise he fears the other teams will get so far ahead they won't be able to catch up.
-Flight lands in Maun and the Country Singers are the first team to the sign up board, followed by the Hockey Players - these two teams get the first flight at 9am.
-Max & Katie and Joey & Meghan get the 2nd flight at 9:15am and Mona & Beth, Chuck & Wynona and Pam & Winnie are on the third flight at 9:30am.  Chuck is upset but really dude, it's only 15 minutes, think positive.

9am - Country Singers and Hockey Players are flirting on their little plane ride and enjoying the sites - "We saw elephants."
9:15am - Joey is scared of the little plane and Max & Katie are their usual sour-pusses, wished they could have enjoyed the safari with anyone else.
9:30am - Chuck says, "This is where the Lion King was made right here." Which has Beth laughing, it's a cartoon.  Pam says, "You know it's a cartoon right?" "Yup." (Somehow I don't think he got it.)

-First flight lands and they get the clue which tells them to drive themselves up the road and look for markers to get the next clue.
Country singers are following the Hockey brothers in the cars, four heads are better than two I guess.

-Second flight lands and Joey & Meghan and Katie & Max run for the cars. 

-Hockey Brothers and Country Singers come upon a line of Kalahari bushmen and a log with clues in jars.  Bates says they may be overdressed (as the bushmen are in loincloths only.) 
The clue: ROADBLOCK: Who feels like making a new friend?
-Bates says he does and then Phil tells us in this task they will have to go digging for scorpions with the bushmen - once they unearth the poisonous creature, the bushman will put it in their jar and lead them to a stump where they'll find their next clue. Bates takes off running with his three guides. 
-Caroline also chooses her group and they start off but one of them spots a lion in the brush nearby and runs away, climbs a tree - she doesn't know what to do, "Do I climb the tree with you? Wow, you can really climb." (Ha ha, the bushman's not dumb, he's safe up the tree and the lion can have the tourist for lunch.)

-Joey and Max are going to be hunting scorpions for the next group.  But Joey is petrified of scorpions, "why did I say I'd do this?"
-Bates is the first one to get his scorpion, the bushman holds it by the stinger and Bates lets it pinch him, not too bad... Anthony says he likes being pinched... by the country singers. (So cheesy.)
-Caroline's from Texas so she's used to scorpions but she doesn't really want to dig for it with her hands.
-Max has a glove on which he was smart enough to bring because he anticipated he'd have to touch something nasty (I see, the theme for Max & Katie is being sanctimonious about their smarts, so unattractive.)
-Joey is high pitched squealing, "With my hands?  I'm only 21, I don't want to die."
-Roller Moms arrive and Mona is going scorpion hunting.
-Bates gets back with his scorpion and guides in tow - the clue tells them to give their Bushmen a ride so they all pile in the back of the SUV and take off down the road.
-Caroline has found her scorpion - one of the Bushmen catches it and puts it in his mouth to calm it down (warm, dark place I guess) so she can hold it on her hand... briefly.  That's enough, she puts it in her jar and takes off.

-Wynona and Pam are going to be making new friends by searching for the scorpions - neither of them is very happy about it but Wynona has only done one Roadblock to Chucks 5 so she has to get her count up.  Pam just doesn't like bugs.

-Caroline & Jennifer take off in their SUV with the Bushmen in the back, "Hi guys!"
-Everyone else is still digging for scorpions.  Mona is the next one to find one and her guy puts it in his mouth as well, she thinks it's cool, drops it in a jar and off she goes. (Yup, she's a mom.)
-Max finally unearths a scorpion and can't believe when the guy puts it in his mouth, he's got his mouth hanging open then quickly shuts it, just in case.  He gets the scorpion in the jar.

-Roller Moms and Max & Katie take off with their Bushmen in the cars and Meghan is wondering where the heck is Joey. (Well Meghan, he's currently having kittens while the Bushmen catch him a scorpion, he's doing a pee-pee dance, "I don't want to touch that thing." (Oh come on! No one wants to touch it.) Joey is 'super drama man' but he finally gets the scorpion in the jar.

-Bates & Anthony get to the next clue box and read the clue to the DETOUR: Fire or Fowl.
-In Fire: they must walk to a nearby village with their Bushmen and learn how to make fire with two sticks, zebra manure and dried grass.  Once they have a flame, they must light the elder Bushman's pipe to receive their next clue.
-In Fowl: they must go hunting with the Bushmen by setting a trap to catch a Guinea Fowl.  First, they have to figure out how to construct the trap using sticks and string, then they must act like a guinea fowl and trip the trap to get the next clue.

-Bates & Anthony decide to do Fire.  While following their guides, they teach them the calls of several wild animals... with the first one, they say, "Hopefully this isn't a rhino mating call."
-Caroline & Jennifer get to the Detour and decide to do Fire as well. They walk off making strange bird calls.

-Joey gets back to Meghan and they load their Bushmen up in the car, the Bushmen are laughing, with, I assume, a translator, in the car, "He was very afraid."

-Bates & Anthony are trying to make fire - and it's hard.  Caroline & Jennifer get to the fire village as well and they are also not having much luck in the fire making.

-Mona & Beth are having a great time laughing with their Bushmen in the car, meanwhile, Katie is complaining about the smell. (You can see, she doesn't want them near her, what a Princess and by Princess, I mean stuck up b*tch.)
-Both these teams decide to do Fire as well and take off for the village. Katie, "My God, they stink."

-Back at scorpion central, Pam has finally unearthed a scorpion.  She says she wanted to run away so bad but she watches him put the thing in his mouth and then he puts it on her hand... she's just frozen - then they finally put it in the jar for her. (Phew.)
-Wynona also, finally finds her scorpion and there is no nonsense with her - put the darn thing in the jar and lets go.
-Pam & Winnie take off with their Bushmen and Chuck & Wynona were not far behind.

-Back at the Fire making - Bates & Anthony are the first team to get smoke... and finally flame!  They light the old guy's pipe and the living mummy gives them their next clue (I'm serious, that guy was made of beef jerky.) The clue tells them to make their way on foot, with the Bushmen, to the next Pit Stop.  It's a Safari camp on the river, looks nice. 
-Before they leave they pause to give Caroline & Jennifer some pointers, once one of them gets to the bottom of the stick, the other should start right away on the top.  Seeing their lack of progress, Hockey boys think the Country singers might want to switch tasks.

-Roller Moms and Max & Katie arrive at the village and have to start trying to make fire.
-Joey & Meghan get to the Detour clue and they are also going to try and make fire.
-All the teams are struggling with the fire making - Max thought, being in cigar sales, he'd be good at lighting the pipe but he's never had to make fire with sticks and poop.

-Winnie & Pam say they feel like they're smuggling Bushmen with them crammed in the back of the car (ha). They get to the Detour and decide to do Fowl.  They know that making fire from scratch is really hard, because they watch a lot of TV (I know, right!?)
-The Bushmen are teaching them bird calls and Pam says, "This is like Sesame Street on crack." (Ha! Pam's on fire tonight with the one-liners.)
-Chuck & Wynona get to the Detour clue box and they decide to do Fowl as well, they want to catch themselves some dinner.  Chuck's favourite thing to do is hunt and fish so this is something he can do.

-Back at the Fire making fiasco - teams are finally starting to think about switching... but no one does - yet.

-Pam & Winnie get to the Fowl area and their Bushmen show them how to make the snare.  Then it's their turn.  They are nervous to see Chuck & Wynona show up, they figure Chuck probably does this stuff in his spare time - brush his teeth, make a snare...

-Finally, Caroline & Jennifer decide to switch tasks and that spurs some others to follow - Joey & Meghan and the Roller Moms - Max & Katie though are going to try it a little longer (because god forbid there be something they cannot do.)

-Back at the Fowl, Chuck tells us he used to trap animals for money after high school - he'd get up, set traps, trade the catch in at the fur exchange - Wynona says she didn't know that about him. (Really? Haven't they been together 12 years?  These two do need to communicate more.)
-Pam & Winnie complete their snare and catch Winnie's hand - not surprising, they have an eye for detail these two - they get the clue to the Pit Stop.

-Max & Katie finally decide to switch tasks, they are having no luck with the fire and she's starting to snipe at him - yup, time to switch.

-Chuck is worried they are in last place but Wynona encourages him that he's good at this and then they see the Country Singers, U-Tubers and Roller Moms show up - that gets him moving again. They watch the Bushman do his little show and trip his trap, Wynona does it too and they get the clue to the Pit Stop.

-The rest of the teams are finding building the snare a little challenging - Caroline gets fwapped in the head as does Roller Mom Beth - they have to counterbalance the stick with the egg... Joey & Meghan, however, are both children of carpenters and they can knock out a building challenge.  Katie is taking control of their snare, she knows better about everything don't you know.

-Joey & Meghan enjoy the dramatic reenactment of the catching of a guinea fowl and they get the clue to the Pit Stop.
-Caroline & Jennifer finish as well and take off.  They are so glad they finally switched tasks, that fire was not happening for them.

-Max & Katie do their dramatic snaring of the hand and their trap doesn't work... (uh oh, how did that happen, they have such big brains?)  They have to start again.

-Mona & Beth are doing their guinea fowl impressions and their snare works, they get the clue to the Pit Stop.  Max & Katie see them leave and know they are in last place... or are they.

-Mona & Beth break the first rule of The Amazing Race - Read Your Clue!  They decide, instead of proceeding on foot as the clue says, to run back to the cars (since driving is faster.)

-Max & Katie finally finish the snare correctly and take off running for the Pit Stop.
-Mona & Beth see all the cars are still there and take off running for the Pit Stop.

 Here's How They Finished:
1) Bates & Anthony (Hockey Brothers)- won a trip to Thailand.  They are happy to be back up at the front of the pack.  They feel like they're just getting stronger, or at least their body odour is (ew.)
2) Pam & Winnie - They feel as one with their Bushmen.
3) Chuck & Wynona - Tell us something good Phil! And he does.  Chuck keeps grabbing Wynona's head and trying to kiss her - (trying too hard dude, that looked so awkward, I worry for them.)
4) Joey & Meghan - he tries to high 5 the Bushmen... uh, whatever.
5) Caroline & Jennifer (Country Singers) - Phil plays match maker with the Bushmen, the girls said they were looking for love and they found it. (Um, I'd be a little worried the Bushmen would actually try to keep them.)
6) Mona & Beth - They are all smiles, at least they're still in it.
7) Max & Katie - They are the last team to arrive - (come on Phil, say it) but he has good news for them, this is a Non-Elimination leg (crap!) and they are still in it, though they will have to face a Speed Bump next leg. 
-She's all sweetness and light, "of course we're up for it Phil" but underneath you know she's seething.  Max says today they made a stupid mistake but tomorrow someone else will make a stupid mistake we just can't let it be us again.
Then they acted human.  Katie says their honeymoon is continuing in Africa and Max says, "Yeah, that tents going to be rocking." (Oh, I shudder to think they will be parents one day.)

Next week: Chuck & Wynona are up a creek, she's got to paddle a canoe and he can't help her, much to his total frustration - And it all comes down to donkeys - yikes, working with animals is never easy on this show.

Have a great week everyone!

Coleen

 

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