Sunday, March 13, 2011

The Amazing Race - March 13, 2011 Episode Recap

This is the Most Stupid Day Ever

Starting out from Tokyo, Japan - Zev & Justin were the first to depart at 8:44pm.  They got the clue to make their way to Lijiang, China.  Because of limited availability of flights everyone will be on the one mandatory flight to China, but once there they must find their own mode of transport on to Lijiang.
-Zev isn't too enthused about China, there are lots of people in China and being autistic he's not much of a people person.  He's also not much of a water person - but he's going to step up when he needs to (we hope.)  He also lets us know the flight isn't leaving until after 9am the next day.
-Gary & Mallory are next out.  Ron & Christina right behind them - are very excited to be going to China - they speak Chinese and have been to Lijiang before.
-The sister's, Jen & Kisha don't have the best memories of China - on their last Race Jen called the deaf guy a bitch... (hahaha - oh yeah - heat of the moment and he was being pushy...) she's not proud of that.
-The Globetrotters head out - Cowboys are right behind them - and Jet tries to get in the wrong side of the car to drive - Golly, everything's backwards here.  (They're still in Japan, it's right hand drive.)
-The Goths are heading out in lucky number 7 spot - their theme for the day is PMA - Positive Mental Attitude (hmm, this seems like some heavy foreshadowing if the previews are correct.)  They try to get in their car but the keys won't open the door - Did someone take our car? (Oh no, and so it begins.)
-Margie and Luke are the next out - he seems happy to be heading to China.
-Kent & Vyxsin finally find their car in the total opposite direction - bicker, bicker, bicker - so much for PMA.
-And finally the Redheads are the last team out at 12:42am - Jaime is hoping China won't be as miserable for her this time (she was a right royal you-know-what last time they raced through China.)
-Vyxsin is having a meltdown in the car - she can't find the highway to the airport - she's crying and he's being so patient... they get on the highway...
6:00am - the rest of the teams are checking in for their flight and still no Kent & Vyxsin - Zev, "they're either in a Kabuki show or extremely lost"... and it's the latter.  They got on the highway going in the wrong direction and they've been driving that way for HOURS... OMG!  Vyxsin finally realizes their mistake and says "Bye, bye Amazing Race."
(Okay, how does this happen? All they had to do was get to the airport, everyone was going to be on the same flight - they had over 9 hours to do that - I guess when you lose your car in the parking lot it sets the tone for the day.)
-Kent acknowledges they're not going to make their flight - but they can't give up, the Amazing Race is also about miracles (someone is sticking with the PMA!)

-Kent & Vyxsin do miss the required flight but finally make it to the airport and book an alternate flight at 3:30pm - they are hopeful they can intercept the other teams but don't know what will happen to them.  (I'm thinking they missed the REQUIRED flight, they're done.)

-The Required flight lands in China at 7:17pm - everyone is now trying to decide what's they're best option of transport to get to Lijiang. (And I must say, I'm digging Kisha's half-fro, looks like she half took out her braids so the back is all full - I like it.)
-Everyone is doing Internet research - but Ron & Christina with their command of the language has had some guy in the airport look up trains for them and they decide to take a train out the same night instead of waiting for a flight the next day.
-Margie & Luke come up to ask them if they're taking the train and Ron blows her off in his abrupt manner - we have to get our money first.  Then they take off for the train station and head out on the first train to Lijiang (oh - I smell Race Karma coming for you old man.)
-The rest of the teams show up at the train station 10 minutes late for that first train - they all take the second train out about 1 1/2 hours later - every team is on that train except Ron & Christina and Kent & Vyxsin - and everyone is breathing a little easier knowing Kent & Vyxsin are behind them ALL.

-Speaking of - their flight gets in at 1:35am and they have no options to move on, everything is closed for the night.  They go to look for a hotel.

-5:38am - first train arrives in Lijiang - Ron & Christina get a cab and are confident enough in their lead that they stop for hot Chinese buns (yum!) I'm pretty sure Ron would have had a tantrum had she refused to stop - but all is well in Ron-world.  They get to the marked shuttle for the next leg but it's not scheduled to leave until 8am.
-6:00am - Kent & Vyxsin are back in the airport and catching the flight out to Lijiang - Vyxsin leaves her passport at the ticket counter but goes back and gets it... (they really are cursed this leg I think... the fates don't want them in China it seems.)
-The rest of the teams show up at the marked shuttle bus where Ron & Christina are not too happy to be waiting for them... as they pull out though the missing Kent & Vyxsin are still making everyone feel good.
-Kent & Vyxsin's flight gets in to Lijiang at 8:15am - they hope to finally see some of the other teams - it's been days since they've seen anyone.
-The shuttle has taken them all up Jade mountain, it looks cold and beautiful.  They see saddled yak's in the water.  Big Easy - we're going in the water... Zev is not ready to get cold and wet.

Route info - they must saddle a yak (which apparently is what they do in this part of China) and ride it across the river where they'll receive their next clue.
-Cord is showing off smacking the yak with his hat and they tell him to stop that. Zev slides off the back of the yak on his first attempt to mount but he makes it finally.  Everyone gets the clue which tells them they have to ride the gondola now up the mountain to spruce meadow to get their next clue.  They're all feeling the altitude- it's making running/breathing difficult - Margie & Ron especially seem to be feeling light headed.
-The clue is a ROADBLOCK - they have to search among hundreds of hanging charms for all the characters of the Chinese zodiac then they must hang them in the correct order on a wind chime kinda thingy to get their next clue.
-So we have Luke, Cord, Cara, Mallory, Flight Time, Jen, Zev & Christina? She and Ron have to discuss way more than anyone else for some reason - he's thinking with his stomach, if it's eating he'll do it - no, she's doing it.  They all first look at the example then head out among all the people and, I would say, thousands of charms trying to collect all 12 they need - this does not look easy.

-Meanwhile - Kent & Vyxsin have arrived at the yaks and she heads across the river on the hairy beast.

-Luke is the first one back, then Mallory and Christina - Luke doesn't get the order right so he's denied but Mallory does and she's the first one to get the clue - she tells Luke to look at hers for the O R D E R.
-The clue tells them to find a marked bus to take them to old town Lijiang, find the ancient prayer wheel where they'll find the next clue.  Gary & Mallory head out. Then Christina, Luke, Cord, Cara, Jen... Zev is still looking, he's having trouble finding them all.  Big Easy terrifies the locals as he runs through them.

-Kent & Vyxsin are now in the gondola and Zev & Justin are the only one's still at the Roadblock - he's getting totally frustrated and Justin is telling him not to give up.

- The Cowboys spy Kent & Vyxsin heading up as they're heading down in the gondola - uh oh. 
-Gary & Mallory are the first team to the marked bus and it takes off - I had forgotten they also have the Express Pass from day 1 so they're sitting pretty right about now.  Mallory is just having fun with her Dad in China... then they cut to Christina & Ron - another daughter, not having so much fun with her Dad in China especially since they jumped in a cart of some kind, not the marked buses they're supposed to be on - they take off down the mountain but she doesn't feel right - they talk to the driver and he tells them they should have taken the bus.  They get the guy to take them back up...

-Zev has all his charms clumped together in one thing - not right.  Kent & Vyxsin show up and Justin is yelling at Zev to hurry up - which doesn't seem to be helping.  Justin asks Kent what happened and he says they're car broke down so they missed the flight.  Justin says, "so the flight you took was not the one you were supposed to take..." Kent says he's not showing all his cards, they are very afraid they'll get a time penalty but he doesn't need the other teams to know that.

-Ron is having a fit on the cart - we're going to lose so much time (blah, blah, blah - I think he wanted to just keep going on the wrong conveyance - you can't do that - if they say take the bus - you take the bus.)  Christina jumps out of the moving cart when they pass the buses and falls on her back (ouch). The Globetrotters get their driver to stop for them (even with Ron throwing something at the bus- what?) - they really are nice guys.  Christina thanks them profusely - she knows it was them - Ron (grumble, grumble. Old fart.)

-Zev is finally getting his charms together but the guy won't give him the clue - the guy looks as frustrated as Zev.  Vyxsin has found 9 of the 12 so far.

Old Lijiang: The buses arrive and Margie & Luke are the first team to the clue box: It tells them each team member must verbally announce their sign of the zodiac, write a wish on a piece of paper and deposit it in the ancient prayer wheel to get their next clue.  DETOUR - Hammer or Horn.
In Hammer: teams must pulverize hot molten candy in the traditional method - by smashing it with long wooden hammers on top of a block of wood - once they have prepared the candy (which looks like pure sugar) the confectioner will give them their next clue (the confectioner is great - he has a future in television.)
In Horn: teams make their way to the square then pick up a huge, long, heavy horn and lead a group of processioners to the palace to receive their next clue.  (I'm wondering if they've made these easier so as not to kill everyone on this leg? :)
-Margie/Luke and Gary/Mallory are all going to do the candy.

-The next buses arrive - and it seems like everyone is either an Ox or a Rooster (hmm, are these adventurous signs?  I'm a Rat, my brethren are not.) - Oh, the Cowboys are Monkeys - and the Globetrotters have no idea what sign they are - so they have to have it right before they can get the clue - they just start going through them all... unsuccessfully.
-Everyone else is getting the clue and everyone is doing hammer except the Redheads, who go for horn.

-Back up the mountain Zev finally figures out he had two goats on his thing - he gets the order correct finally and they get the clue to move on.  Justin praises him for sticking with it and getting it done.
-Vyxsin is starting to have another meltdown - she can't find all 12 of the charms -(no, no more crying... just get it done) Kent says that little pink kitten is trying her best (he really is so supportive - I'd be yelling at her.)

-Oh, and finally the Globetrotters have determined they are a Rooster and a Dragon - they've dropped back 3 or 4 spots - they decide to do the Horn.

-Ron again is thinking with his stomach - he wants his yogurt - Christina tells him no - he can eat after the Detour - walking through town he gets distracted by a street vendor cooking live fish... she has to put her foot down - You are not eating fish, let's go - He whines, Can we take a tram?  No!  (Oh Ron, he's reverting to childhood right before our eyes.)

-Let the hammering begin - everyone is joyfully hammering away - and Ron is eating- ah, this is good stuff. (I think more than anything else this episode I have heard Christina say "Daddy" with total exasperation over and over and over again.)

-Over at the Horn, Jaime picks one up, decides she can't do it and they change.

-Back up at the Roadblock, Vyxsin is blubbering and calling herself stupid while Kent shivers to death. 
She finally gets all 12 of the charms and heads in to put them in order.  Their only hope is to catch up to Zev & Justin - who are now on the bus heading to Old Lijiang.

-Back at the hammering - teams are finishing up and Ron is still eating all their goods - Gary/Mallory, Margie/Luke, Cowboys - get the clue to head to the Eternal Tower - the Pit Stop for this leg of the Race.
-Jen & Kisha finish and head out and Christina is ready to use the cutting tool on Ron - she makes him let her do it, he's so ungraceful and he's still eating - "Will you stop eating, god!" (haha, unfortunately, I think this would have been me and my dad.)

-The Globetrotters are having no problem with the horn but they can't find the palace - Big Easy nearly impales himself with the horn when Flight Time stops short to ask directions - and a little girl nearly climbs in the other end - aww.

-The Redheads have arrived at the candy hammering place and Cara burns herself on the molten sugar as it seeps through her glove - how'd you get it on your hand?  That's what the long hammers are for.

-Zev & Justin get to the prayer wheel and know their signs - Justin wants to win the Amazing Race and Zev wants a long happy life.  They decide to do horn.

-Vyxsin finally gets all the charms in order and she gets the clue - they head down on the gondola.

Here's How They Finished:
1) Margie & Luke - won a trip to Aruba - Which Phil tells them they can enjoy after the race... but right now you are still racing... (What?  Again?) Luke - Noooo.  Margie says you don't know what I want to say right now.  They rip the clue and take off.
2) Jet & Cord - You have to keep on racing - Cord, "Sweet."
3) Gary & Mallory - Mallory, "Ah Nuts!"
4) Ron & Christina - He's so excited to be 4th - but still racing - Oh My God.
5) Kisha & Jen - Arghh
6) Flight Time & Big Easy - Big Easy, "Is this April Fools?"
7) Jaime & Cara

-Zev & Justin are carrying the horn through the town, Justin's not even thinking about Kent & Vyxsin at this point - he's just trying to get through the Detour and let the chips fall where they may.
-Kent & Vyxsin are on the bus heading to Old Lijiang when Kent realizes that their fanny pack is gone - he's left it in the gondola (I see their luck is holding up - all bad.) They start desperately beseeching the bus driver to turn around... their passports & money are in the fanny pack -(why would you take it off?)

To Be Continued... Argh - and my recording cut off the preview of next week...

I want to know what kind of penalty the Pink & Black Attack is going to face... to be continued - that blows.

Have a good week everyone,

Coleen





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