Thursday, February 14, 2013

Survivor Fans vs Favourites - Premiere Episode Feb 13/13

She Annoys Me Greatly

Last night was the premiere of the 26th season of Survivor.  The show opened with 10 people in a boat in the Caramoan Islands.  We see the scruffy bearded dude who said it felt surreal, the Iraqi war vet with a cocky attitude, "this is nothing compared to war", a couple interchangeable blonds (great, I'm never going to figure out who's who) and a hipster type with the hat and horn rims.

-Flying overhead in helicopters are the competition, the returning favorites: Malcolm from last season (one of my favourites), Cochran, the survivor nerd (nice Probst), Dawn - who one of my friends said had horse teeth and I always thought of as bug-eyed - so she has become "horse & buggy", Brenda who was too cool for scrambling in her season, and Eric, forever the ice-cream scooper who made the stupidest move ever by giving a pretty girl his immunity idol and her voting him out.  Then we see they brought back some crazy - Brandon 'lil Hantz', Andrea - pretty blond farm girl, okay, she's not crazy but not really memorable either, Corinne - I have pretty much no recollection of her, but she looks like she was the b*tchy one and the King of the Crazy, Phillip "Former Federal agent" who thinks he learned from Boston Rob, oh, and Francesca, my girl in the pool - who was voted out first in her season with Philip - he memorably could not pronounce her name and she called him a crazy person - I like her, hopefully she keeps her mouth shut this time.

The Fans reach the beach and hipster dude is the first off the boat into shin-high water and promptly falls on his butt - oh yeah, we all saw that. The rest scramble off the boat with no problems and they go to meet Jeff Probst on their Orange mat.  Ooh, who is the cute dimpled one?  Probst has some dimple competition this year. 
Jeff tells them they will be playing against some of their favourite returning players this season and they all seem excited.  With no further ado the helicopters come in and kick up the sand all over the Fans. (Oh yeah, that was on purpose.)

The Favourites come off the helicopters and Jeff introduces them one by one - everyone is getting a reaction until Malcolm and that's probably because this was filmed right after the last season, they have no idea who he is (oh, he's a favourite, they'll learn.)
-Jeff even introduces Phillip as "former Federal Agent Phillip Shepard" - giving him his props.
The Marine on the Fans tribe says, "That's lunch meat right there and it's about to be chow time." (Ugh).

Jeff gives them their buffs and says, "Are we ready for a little challenge?" (Uh, yeah!)

REWARD CHALLENGE

Two people from each tribe will race through shallow water to retrieve a ring (like a life preserver), they must try to take it back to their designated pole while the other tribe tries to stop them.  To score a point they have to have one hand on the pole and one on the ring - first team to 4 points wins reward of flint (Fire is Life in Survivor) and 20lbs of beans.

And the 'getting to know you - size 'em up' challenge begins.
Erik and Dawn vs Shamar (Iraqi Vet dude) and Julia (the one dark haired girl) - Erik retrieves the ring but Shamar scares him into throwing it - the girls tussle a little and Julia gets the ring to Shamar - Erik has no hope of stopping the big boy - Fans get the first point.

Hope (one of the blonds) and Eddie (he's the cute dimpled one) vs Brandon & Andrea - Eddie gets the ring and throws it to Hope- kinda - Andrea grabs it - then all four of them are fighting over the ring and Brandon proves he's got solid little man strength by pushing all of them over to the Favourites pole and Andrea is able to touch - We are tied at 1-1
(Oh man, and Brandon is sporting some all new tattoos - dumb looking zebra stripes up one arm and the Confederate flag on his chest - I'm sure that's going to go over well.)

Next we have Sherry (older blond) & Michael (hipster) vs Phillip and Brenda - the favourites hang back and let the fans retrieve the ring then Phillip in on Michael and dragging it to their pole - the women are wrestling each other and Shamar yells, "Break her wrist!" 
Eerrch... record scratch... it goes really quiet... Jeff, "What?" 
"Uh, you know, break her hold, break her wrist." (Yeah, that's so not what he meant.) Uh-huh.
Back to the action, Phillip in the baggy red undies just pulls the whole mass of people and ring to the pole and scores the Favs 2nd point.

Matt, 'The beard' and random blond (Laura) vs Francesca and Cochran - no one runs for the ring - Cochran is told to cover the girl (of course) and Francesca takes on Matt, he tries to run by her but - oh no - she grabs that ring and takes control - you go!  Favourites get another point. 3-1

Malcolm (with the flowing hair) & Corrine vs Reynold and Allie (blond #4) - Malcolm and Reynold sprint for the ring but apparently Reynold can walk on water or something - he just flew down the course but it got much harder from there  - Malcolm dives at him and blocks his throw - then they all fight - epic battle between Malcolm and Reynold with lots of butt blurring as they both are losing their shorts - Erik from the sidelines: Fight naked! (uh, no thanks.)  Malcolm comes up the winner of the final winning point.
-Favourites win flint and the 20lbs of beans.

Gota (Fans) - Day 1
They get to camp and Shamar is very disappointed in his team.  He realizes he doesn't have control so he's got to do his best and inspire his teammates to do better next time.
-They are happy to find rice and a machete at camp - Shamar announces that shelter is nice but if they dehydrate they'll die... someone says they need a water crew and a fire crew... but they all just mill around.  Matt "the beard" figures shelter is pretty important to him so he gets started building and that really puts Shamar's nose out of joint (uh oh, trouble in paradise already.) Shamar says they are wasting their energy right now, they need fire man (but then he doesn't do anything to make fire.) 
-Matt says he's a shelter man, not a fire man, he's doing what he knows (in other words, you want fire, go make fire.) Matt tells the camera he's been busting his ass and he hasn't seen Shamar do one damn thing - he had higher expectations of a Marine.  Next we see Shamar sitting down on the bamboo frame Matt's built and they exchange words which culminate in a "Shut up" from Shamar. (I gotta say, I do not like this guy - at - all.) 
Reynold is worried they are doomed if they can't find some camaraderie around camp (Yup.)

Bikal (Favourites) - Day 1
The Favourites are carefully walking up the beach through rocks and they gives us a shot of Phillip's crotch in the red gonch (MY EYES! Was that really necessary?)
-Malcolm is the new kid on the block and he's glad he made a good impression with the challenge win - getting the final point and reward.
-Phillip says coming up the beach he feels like his father when he hit the beach at Iwo Jima - he was fighting for the Marine corps and they were ready (yeah, cause this is so much like WWII. Ah Phillip, looks like he has not changed.)

The Favourites just get right to building a shelter some are standing around but for the most part they are gathering the bamboo and working together.
Francesca tells the camera she was apprehensive about facing Phillip again - she stands by her initial assessment of him, that he is a crazy person - but she hopes being voted out first the last time she played makes her less of a threat and she won't be targeted early this time.

Francesca, Andrea and Dawn are talking about who they want to align with. They agree on Cochran... Then Andrea suggests Phillip (what?)... oh, and Brandon (Holy crap, that is the worst alliance I've ever heard - Andrea, go home, you're drunk!)  
Francesca says she was stuck in a horrible minority alliance the first time, this time she's just going to align with everyone.  She wants to prove this time around that she can play smart and be competitive, get along with people and be a serious threat in this game (hopefully she learns to keep her mouth shut and her head down.)
-Next scene is her approaching Phillip (why?) She tells him even though they didn't get along last time, she was never gunning for him and she hopes he believes that.  He can't even be bothered to look at her or respond (wow, that's rude.)  Phillip tells the camera he buried the hatchet with her a long time ago and feels she's stuck in a time warp. "She annoys me greatly." (Ha). He basically tells her, we're playing together this time, now leave me alone.

-Francesca tells the camera, "If I am voted off first this time, I will eat this rock.  It's not gonna happen. (Oh man!  Did she just curse herself?)

Gota - Day 1
The beard is still building and Shamar is still sitting back and watching.  A group of them are trying to build a fire and Shamar, determined not to go out for dehydration, sees where they are going wrong and decides he's going to be the big man and save the day - he tells them they have the wrong wood, the hole is too big - but he does participate in getting the fire going and then takes credit for it.  "I had to make it happen. It was like being in Iraq and having to get home - it just had to happen." (Did I mention I'm not a fan of Shamar so far?)
-Matt 'the Beard' saw the fire and was really happy, obviously they need fire.  He smoothed things over with Shamar -well they shook hands and Shamar was glorying in being the great fire starter.  I think it'll just make him that much more insufferable.

Bikal - Day 1
They are eating and Phillip is so happy with this crowd.  He says he's learned from Boston Rob and he's created his BR Rules: 1. get an alliance, rule 2 get an alliance within the alliance, BR rule 3 get rid of your alliance before it gets rid of you. In the end, you don't owe anybody anything, it's all about family.
-Phillip approaches Corinne first and tells her he wants to align with her, Malcolm and Andrea.  She's in, she loves it.
-He tells the camera he's playing a different strategy this time - he wants to find two people that can dominate the tribe and make sure they have the numbers so he's picked Corinne and he tells her her name is Dominatrix (she was all in until the nickname I think) then he brings in Andrea because he knew her to be a strategist, then the girls approached Malcolm and he doesn't look thrilled about Phillip but he's learned from last time - he says he's in.
-Then Phillip tells the girls he wants Dawn - he tells the camera he's being stealthy, undercover brother, in the background but running things.  They pull in Dawn, then Phillip tells Cochran's great big zit by his nose... I missed whatever he said... great big zit.
-Phillip has recruited six people out of the 10 - next it's Erik, there is something there that Phillip likes - He approaches the ice cream scooper and tells him he already has the numbers if he was not to pull him in, but he wants him in, as long as he doesn't get nervous. It's going to require him to trust him 100%.
-Erik is not impressed with Phillip's high-handed attitude and Phillip gets a little miffed - I don't want to bring someone to the party that doesn't want to come. Oh, and I'm just the errand boy, I was sent.  (Uh huh, he's not buying what the crazy is selling and Phillip doesn't like that.)
-Erik heard, "You're with me or you're out." He doesn't want to be with him. Phillip came at him with this Boston Rob style and he sees him as a combative loser and he wants him out. (Yup, Erik totally pegged Phillip, but he shouldn't have shown the contempt - I predict that may get him in some trouble.)

Gota- Day 1
Man, this is a long day - pretty boys Eddie (dimples and tight red shorts) and Reynold (older pretty guy) agree they are going to be targets (because they're just so darn pretty!) so they definitely need to stick together - definitely.  Reynold approaches Allie (one of the blonds) he wants to align with her because she's not the cutest but they get along.  Reynold knew the guys would want to align with him, that was a given - he thinks Allie was a not obvious choice and he feels good about it.  She agrees they are totally in it to the final two.  He tells her they have to be cool at camp, not make their alliance obvious - she agrees.

Gota - Night 1
-Eddie approaches his choice in a blond ally, Hope.  He thinks they are a perfect fit and she agrees they should stick together. Eddie tells the camera he thinks they are the two best looking people out there - (though he does have a speech impediment (just saying.)) They flirt some more and she asks who else is he thinking- Reynold is his boy and Allie will hang out with them (Eddie kinda makes my skin crawl a little... I think he's best when he doesn't talk.)

-Cut to the tribe all piled in the shelter, cuddled up for body warmth for the most part - except Reynold and Allie, who were doing a bit more than just sharing warmth, there was some romance going on and it did not go unnoticed.  Another blond, Laura, says they all know romantic alliances don't last on Survivor (Boston Rob & Amber excluded I assume.)

Bikal - Day 3
Favourites are baking in the sun and Cochran is burning to a crisp. He tries some self deprecating humor but he tells the camera he's actually in extreme pain and he feels like crying.  His feet were so burnt and swollen, he looked like he had Hobbit feet.  (I feel for you man.  Been there, not fun.)

Gota - Day 3
-Pretty people alliance is hanging out in the water - Reynold says a lot was communicated through his cuddle session with Allie last night - he wanted not to be the cliche of the cool kids hanging out - but it happened.  They are the cool kid lunch table and no one else will be invited.
-Four of the other tribe mates Sherry, older blond lady, Laura, mid-cute young blond, Michael hipster wannabe and Julia, the only brunette are discussing the "not just for warmth" cuddling last night and they agree they have to break up the couples. 
-Michael tells the camera he told the girls he was totally with them but he's leaving his options open - he wants to go where it's best for him.
-Michael gets along with Matt 'the beard' and he goes and tells him the ladies approached him for an alliance but he wants to stick with Matt and they decide who they want to align with.  Matt is playing the Penner and doesn't want to make a hasty decision.  If we win immunity we won't have to decide for a while (Arghh, you are going to lose your one friend bud.)

IMMUNITY CHALLENGE
-They will have to race out in pairs up a four storey tower.  At each floor they will find 3 crates filled with sandbags - they will toss the crates over the side then slide down a fireman pole so the next pair can go up to the next level.  They cannot start throwing the crates out until both tribe members are together at the crates.  Once all 12 crates have been smashed, the remaining pair will gather all the sandbags and then one person will have to toss the bags into holes on a board.  First tribe to get sandbags in all six holes will win immunity.  And the Fans are also still playing for flint.

-Off they go - It's pretty even until the last pair has to go all the way up to the fourth level - Allie slows the Fans down so the Favourites have a bit of a lead.  Malcolm is tossing the sand bags and has 3 in the holes when Reynold starts throwing the sandbags for the Fans.  They tie it up and then Reynold and the FANS win the first Immunity Challenge.

Bikal - Day 3
The defeated Favourites return to camp and the best part was Cochran shrouded in Francesca's scarf (that poor guy).  Right away, Francesca and Cochran are in the shelter and she starts talking about voting out Phillip (oh lady, what are you doing putting names out there? She really should be keeping her head down...)
Cochran is playing it cool, says that Phillip hasn't been talking strategy, just giving them all nicknames.  Francesca says if not Phillip they could always do Corinne... but Cochran likes Corinne (I'm getting a bad feeling.)  Francesca tells the camera that she's suspicious of Corinne because she hasn't tried to talk strategy with her. 
-Brandon and Andrea come over to Corinne, Cochran and Francesca and there is big mouth Francesca telling them it's Phillip.  Oh, and Malcolm's there too.  She doesn't seem to notice Andrea stiffen at talk of voting Phillip.
-Andrea says she really likes Francesca and they spoke on day one but she hasn't really heard anymore from her (it's only day 3) so Andrea thinks she has more stability with Phillip and it's better for her to go that way.
-Andrea then runs to Phillip and tells him that Francesca is talking about voting him out, so Francesca needs to go.  Phillip says, of course.  To the camera he says he likes the idea of voting Francesca out first again.  You have to be like MAchiaVELLI! (I wish I could type it like he said it - awesome.) If you come at me once, I will burn your village, I will kill your aunts, uncles and all your children so none of your kind will exist again.  (Oh man, do we have to get Francesca some salt for that rock?)

-Eric and Brandon are in the water and talking about voting Phillip, Erik tells him that Phillip had approached him, said you're either with me or you're dead.  Erik wants him out, "he scares me."
-Brandon then talks to Francesca and tells her that Phillip had told Erik that he had numbers - What?  She is confused, how are Phillip and Corinne numbers? - this had made her nervous, she could be blindsided but she doesn't even want to talk about that possibility.

-Cochran is talking to Dawn and she says she's willing to take out Franny (really? Does she know you called her Franny?) Cochran thinks this could be a new Dawn (then he cracks up at his own play on words.)  They say they want to stay together and vote together but it's a numbers game at this point.

-Francesca has been spooked and she's now thinking they should split the vote between Phillip and Corinne, talking to Dawn, Brandon, Andrea and Erik (Andrea is the snake among you...)  Francesca is now totally paranoid (as you should be.)

-Brandon is talking to Brenda and Dawn and the girls don't think that Andrea is with them - Brandon tells the camera that he is more intimidated by Andrea than anyone else out there, she is talking to everybody (oh, does that mean he finds her attractive so she must be bad?)  It just so happens that he is right, she is talking to everybody and should not be trusted.
-Erik agrees and he goes to Francesca and tells her he thinks Andrea is playing both sides so he and Brandon think the five of them: Brenda, Brandon, Erik, Francesca and Dawn should vote Andrea and not tell Cochran.  Now I'm getting confused, there is so much scrambling! I hope they all know who they are voting for cause I sure don't.

-Cochran and the big zit (it was really noticeable again) tell the camera he feels kinda bad about voting for Francesca, it's almost cruel and he does have some morals. (Noooo! I don't want to be the first one out... say it ain't so.)

TRIBAL COUNCIL
They get their torches and get flame - Fire represents their life.
-Brandon, we're all chiefs, there are no Indians.  We're not going to get done like we were done last time.
Jeff: Oh, somebody is. Tonight.
-Francesca - it's never good to see someone you had an infamous fight with but Phillip has learned to pronounce my name.
-Phillip says he called her Francesqua instead of using an explicative (I think he meant expletive) he chose to mispronounce her name on purpose.  He said he was concerned about Francesca being very strategic early on in the game when she didn't need to be last time.
Jeff points out Francesca doesn't really have much experience in the game since she was the first person voted out last time.
-Thanks for bringing that up Jeff.  It's like you're saying I'm bad at Survivor.
No, you said that.  All I said was you don't have as much experience.
-You can look at it that way but she says everyone there is so smart and they know what they're doing so no one is really feeling very secure.
-They all agree they have all been feeling some paranoia.
-Andrea says she thinks they see her as bringing it to challenges and I do work around camp but sometimes that stuff doesn't really mean anything.
Jeff says one of the difference playing with returning players is that the game moves so much more quickly.  Even things said at tribal council can change the vote.
Cochran -Absolutely we've seen it happen with Boston Rob touching the shoulder of the person he wanted voted out at tribal council. There are back up plans and last resorts and that's the excitement of playing with returning players.  We're not spending the first three days trying to open coconuts and worrying about bathrooms, we're already playing the game and it's exciting.
*Then Malcolm reached over and put his hand on Cochran's shoulder! Haha, that was hilarious.

Time to Vote:
Francesca votes Andrea - this is a vote of paranoia but just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
Andrea votes Francesca - you're going to be so upset with me but I'm voting for you because you are a huge threat. (How do you figure? She's not smart enough to keep her mouth shut.)

Tallying the Votes:
No one has a hidden immunity idol (oh are those in play?)
Andrea 1, 2, 3 (she didn't like that)
Francesca 1, 2, 3 (they are both nervous now.)
Andrea 4
Fran 4, 5... and 6 - Francesca is the first person voted out... again.  And I'm so bitter!  I really have to recap the whole season and I'm out already?  This has not been my day. 
And with Francesca leaving us first, Tori K, Kim B/Gail W. and myself will get their money back.

Next time on Survivor - looks like Brandon is bringing the crazy - Hantz style.  And we see Dawn crying... again.

Francesca - I cannot believe I got voted out first again.  At least I know how to deal with getting voted out first.  I guess I'm not cut out for Survivor and I'm no longer rooting for the favourites.

Overall, not a bad start to the new season.  Hopefully I'll be able to figure out the blonds on the Fans tribe before it's over.

Have a great rest of the week,

Coleen
 

2 comments:

  1. Friendly fyi the "break her wrist" comment is a military term meaning break your grip. The rest of the world obviously wouldnt know that. So it seems worse than what it really is. I dont care for him anyways. So he can go home.

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  2. Thanks for letting me know... it did sound bad. But maybe I should give Shamar the benefit of the doubt... now if he'd just get off his ass around camp.

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