Run Like Scalded Dogs. (Argentina)
The episode started out from Puerto Varas, Chile - Jet & Cord are the first to start out at 11:20pm. The clue tells them that teams must take one of two buses on a six hour ride through the Andes Mountains and cross into Argentina. Once there, they have to drive themselves to the Old Joint (where Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid hid out when they were in Argentina) and play a game of 5-card stud with/for the Roaming Gnome.
-Cord says Jet's strength lies between his ears, don't let the hat fool ya. Their bus leaves at 8:30am so Jet says for once they don't have to run like scalded dogs. (I love these two and the downhome sayings.)
-Joe & Heidi and Carol & Brandy both head out at 11:55pm - first three teams will be on the first bus (lucky Cowboys being stuck with those teams, ugh.)
-Carol & Brandy have only been dating for 5 months (wow, that's all? Either gutsy to test their relationship this way or they just really wanted to be on TV... I'm thinking the latter but then I'm a cynic.)
-Jet & Cord hit a bar and ask the locals about their destination - they find a girl that speaks English and used to live in Argentina - she tells them where to go ;)
-Back at the hotel, Brent and Caite are supposed to be heading out but Caite's sick (puking and shaky) they decide to go to the hospital - both dehydrated from what they're going through. (Suck it up barbies.) They miss their window to head out, they were 4th.
-Monique & Shawne head out at 1:22am - want to set an example for their kids - they have the 8:50 bus.
-Jeff & Jordan (team Big Bro) are the next to leave.
-At the hospital Brent & Caite are both hooked up to IV's - they are there for 3 hours or so, three more teams head out leaving them as the last team. When they finally get back to the hotel, they see the detectives are still there (checking the internet to find out where they need to go in Argentina) they still have 4 hours before their bus leaves so we'll see if they can overcome the illness - and such as.
-At the Bus Depot - Brandy & Carol confront the enigmatic cowboys with a barrage of questions - "How'd you find the earlier bus, How'd you get in front of us? Cord says a, "Hey, how ya doin?" would have been nice, they didn't get the warm fuzzies from the aggressive girls (Cord looked like a deer in headlights when they were talking.)
-The first teams gets off the bus in Argentina and everyone is following the cowboys - slowly. Jet doesn't want to lead them to the Joint so he decides to pull over and let the others shoot on by (like Top Gun) and it works.
-Second bus gets in and the rest of the teams head out in the cars - Brent & Caite get lost immediately, she doesn't want to drive but has no choice. The brothers who can't drive stick shift, still can't - oh boy.
-First 3 teams get to the Old Joint - Lesbians can't believe the Cowboys caught up and now they are their nemesises (nemesisii? Is there a plural to that word? Can you have more than one nemesis?) "Can't let the cowboys beat us." They are all playing 5-card stud. Joe & Heidi win their first hand, get the gnome, head out. Lesbians win their first hand, get the gnome and head out - "We beat the cowboys." The Cowboys lose - Cord, "That Gnome has a poker face out of this world."
-First 2 teams get the clue to the ROADBLOCK - amid a local Gaucho festival they will get a lesson in steer roping. They will choose a roping station and after watching a demo they must try to rope the target 18ft away (a bale of hay with horns on it) once roped, they have to pull the target towards them to retrieve the next clue. (I'm thinking the Cowboys have this one locked up.)
-Heidi & Carol are attempting the task for their teams. The Cowboys finally win a hand of poker and head out, Jet saw the rack of ropes and said he didn't know what it was but he was going to like it.
-Brandy doesn't think it's fair that the task so plays into the Cowboys skills, "I don't believe this." (Maybe they'll have a shopping challenge later, chill.) Cord - "We didn't throw a fit because she knows Spanish and we don't." (Exactly! Take a pill woman.)
-Carol can't get the rope untwisted - Heidi is not doing so well either. Jet gets it on the 2nd try - Geez Louise. "I can't believe I missed it on the first try - I'm going to hear about that." "That's gotta be embarrassing." (I really love the cowboys.) The clue tells them they now have to drive themselves to Puente Nirihuau and search the cliffs overlooking the river to find their next clue.
-Team Big Brother shows up at the Joint and is playing poker with the Gnome. They win a hand and head out to the roping. Jeff is doing it for them.
-Carol & Heidi both finally snag one of the horns on the target bales and get the clue - whoo!
-The Lost Boys (Dan & Jordan) are stuck behind a very slow moving truck and still lost. Brent & Caite are also lost, sick & bickering - "I wish you'd get the directions right" - "No, you get them right."
-Steve & Allie (Father/Daughter) get to the Joint and play poker with/for the Gnome - they win a hand and head out to the roping. Jeff is still out there proving he's a city boy, not a country boy.
-The Cowboys get to the next clue - they have to climb down to the clue box and Cord wonders what's the rule about breaking the Gnome - "Probably not as bad as breaking a leg." (Yeah, priorities man.)
DETOUR - Horse Sense or Horse Power (Horses, Brandy's going to be bitter again.)
Horse Sense - teams meet a gunslinger who gives them a set of directional coordinates - then using an old time compass (sign post pointing NSEW), teams must count out the number of steps in the coordinates to find a bag of money buried in the ground which they must then deliver to the lead bandit at the train station - if the coordinates on the bag match those on their paper, they'll get the next clue (a coin.)
Horse Power - teams make their way to a polo field and don appropriate attire - then moving a practice pony (tall sawhorse with a saddle and wooden horse head) down the field, they have to try and score a goal in 9 swings or less. If they succeed they'll receive their next clue (a trophy.)
The Cowboys choose Horse Power - because they don't know it's not on real horses yet.
- Back at the Roping Roadblock - Jeff finally ropes the hay and they head out. Baseball Coach/Dad Steve ropes his bail too and they are off.
-The Detectives finally show up to the Joint and play some poker.
-The Cowboys meanwhile, get to the polo field and Cord heads towards the herd of horses - Jet stops him - Nope, these are the horses - points out the practice ponies. What? Cord feels like a kid on that thing.
-Carol & Brandy bicker in the car about the directions but they find the cluebox/bridge/river - Carol rubs Brandy's nose in the fact she didn't trust her. Nice. Joe & Heidi are lost.
-Cowboys hit the ball, carry the horse, hit it again... man, that doesn't look fun. Cord thinks finding the treasure would have been easier than carrying that damn horse. But they finish quickly and get their trophy - make a small acceptance speech (hehe). The clue is on the bottom of the trophy - they have to go to Estancia Fortin Chacabuco, an enormous ranch at the foot of the Andes - the PIT STOP for this leg of the race (the Cowboys are magic!)
-Carol & Brandy get the clue to the Detour and Carol thinks it'll be too hard to control a horse so they should do Horse Sense - Brandy, "You're the leader." (Yeah, and you're the bitch.)
They get their directional coordinates and start off from the compass/sign post. Carol just starts walking, Brandy is trying to count the steps - these two are seething at each other right now - doesn't bode well.
-Team Big Bro gets the clue to the Detour and they choose the Horse Sense too. Heidi & Joe finally find the place and see Team Big Bro has jumped in front of them - Joe's on a mission now.
-Dan & Jordan (Lost Boys) finally find the Joint and head in to play poker - "Oh yay!" (Are we sure only one of them is gay?)
-Louie & Shawne are outside trying to rope the hay (Hey, when did the lawyer/moms get there? I totally missed that.)
-Back at the Detour, Brandy is counting steps and Carol sees a shovel and just runs over to it - this must be it. Brandy says she's doing the digging but this is wrong, the dirt hasn't been dug before. Bicker Bicker Bicker.
-Big Brother - Jeff reads the clue they got from the Gunslinger which tells them to give the money to the Lead Bandit - he says, "You're the lead bandit." Uh oh, me thinks that's going to mess them up. Oh, let's see if they know directions (she can't read a clock after all.)
-Joe & Heidi also decide to do the Horse Sense but instantly Joe proves he doesn't have any because he's going to use his own compass and who's counting number of steps, that's just for people without a compass (OMG - Dumbass.)
-Brandy & Carol - bicker bicker bicker - Brandy - All your fault. Carol - Yeah, I heard that a few times.
-Steve & Allie get to the Detour and choose the Horse Power - really? - They head off at a run and he totally takes a tumble but doesn't drop or crush the Gnome - way to go Dad!
-Carol - "Should we just go ride the horses?" Brandy - "That's something you have to decide, this was your choice." (Wow, passive-aggessive much? Just smack her already.) They tell the camera at this point they're not communicating very well at all (Ya think?) They decide to change tasks.
-Brent & Caite are still lost, still haven't made it to play poker for the Gnome - Caite's in the car whining as Brent goes to ask for directions - "I don't want to drive, I don't feel well but he can't drive a stick shift..." (Someone get her some cheese with that wine.)
-Dan (brother) flukily lassoed one horn on his steer bale quickly, getting the clue and passing Louie & Shawne - apparently lawyer/moms and police detectives, not so good at roping steer.
- Big Brother finds a bag of money, heads back to the Gunslinger guy but he has nothing for them - the clue says if they're wrong they have to put it back so they go back (but it's also the wrong guy... READ your clue.)
-Joe & Heidi find a bag of money and yell over at Jeff (of Team Big Bro), "Where is the train station?" Jeff says he doesn't know and mutters to Jordan, I have no idea what he's talking about. (Don't you think you should find out?)
-Carol & Brandy and Steve & Allie are now at the polo field - Carol makes a short hit - Steve a long one.
- Joe & Heidi get tot he train station and give their loot to the Head Bandit - but it doesn't match their coordinates (but, but he has a real compass...DA) they have to take the bag back where they found it and decide to switch tasks.
-Jeff & Jordan head back to the wrong guy again - can't figure out what they're doing wrong. (Arggh!)
-Louie finally ropes the steer and they head out. Mom/lawyers still there. Brent & Caite still lost.
-Steve is 57yrs old - what's not hurting as he carries the pony and tries to get on and off it and hit the darn ball - it's hard on the old guy. Carol tells Brandy to pretend the ball is her face to get her to hit it hard and far. Both teams get the goal within 9 swings, get their trophies and head off.
-Joe & Heidi are now at the polo field - he gets on the 'pony' and every time he swings his mallet he tips the thing forward and it (and he) lands on its face. Ouch.
-Louie & Michael get to the Detour and choose Horse Sense, figure they're gunslingers themselves so that one should be a more natural fit.
-Brent & Caite finally find the Joint and see that Monique & Shawne are still there - it gives them hope. They play the poker, get the Gnome, then Brent does the roping for them and gets it on the 2nd try! He's Stoked! Poor Shawne, still trying to rope the darn thing. She asks Monique to pray with her and it works - Thank you Jebus!
-The Cowboys get to the ranch and Cord's got his hat on the Gnome in the back, "Oh my Gravy" (I still love that.) They run in to Phil at the mat and a Gaucho with really bad teeth welcomes them to Argentina. They share a cowboy head tip, admiring each others hats. They are Team # 1 and win a 10 day trip to Patagonia.
-Louie & Michael, Dan & Jordan are looking for their loot - Jeff & Jordan still searching too. Michael wants to set up a grid search (just follow the directions - jeez.)
-Dan & Jordan find a bag but it's not theirs so they decide to switch tasks.
-Mike & Louie find a bag, it's not theirs and Jeff & Jordan swoop in, it's ours - they take it and Louie is kicking himself, "why'd I let them take it?" (Whatcha gonna do?)
-Jeff & Jordan go back to the wrong guy again - Jeff finally figures out he's not the Lead Bandit, "We're so stupid. We definitely shouldn't reproduce." (Ha ha - He said it so I don't have to.)
-Joe & Heidi finish the polo - Dan & Jordan show up and Jordan has to choose the shirts that best coordinate with their pants - yup, he's the gay one.)
-Jeff & Jordan (Big Bro) finally find the Lead Bandit and get the coin/clue to the Pit Stop.
-Dan & Jordan don't make the goal in 9 shots and have to start over - 3 Times!
-Brent & Caite finally get to the Detour and decide to do the Horse Power - the Lawyer/Moms right behind go with Horse Power too.
-Detectives have switched tasks and now there are 4 teams all doing the polo. The brothers finish, Brent & Caite finish, the Detectives finish and the Lawyer/Moms decide to change to the other task (Really?)
Here's How They Finished
1) Jet & Cord - Phil asked them if their huge belt buckles didn't slow them down. Nope, they keep our pants up. We'd be way slower with our pants around our ankles.
2) Steve & Allie - Steve switches hats with the Gaucho, "Cause I'm a cowboy." (On a wooden horse I ride.)
3) Brandy & Carol - Imagine what we could do if we didn't bicker.
4) Joe & Heidi - Alright
5) Jeff & Jordan (Team Big Brother) - Jordan can't read Phil's poker face, he scares her at the Pit Stop.
6) Dan & Jordan (Brothers) - double high 5's - not bad for white boys.
7) Brent & Caite - Just happy to be there. After the start at the hospital wasn't sure if they'd make it.
8) Louie & Michael - Louie - "Phil, I want to say I love you." Phil - "I don't want to hear that." (Ha!)
9) Shawne & Monique - ** ELIMINATED ** - Proud of how they represented for all the Moms out there. Showed their kids they never gave up and did their best.
So... that means Ozzy R, Lynne B, Sandy G, and Rukhsana D. are out of the pool. Sorry guys, but thanks for bucking up this weekend just before your demises :)
Preview of next week shows the Cowboys drinking some mighty big beers and there's a bungee jumping Intersection task where teams have to partner up... looks like fun, in a 'I have to change my drawers' kind of way.
Have a great week everyone! (What are we going to watch now that the Olympics are over?)
Coleen
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