Thursday, February 18, 2016

Survivor Brains vs Brawn vs Beauty - Feb 17/16 Premiere episode recap

I'm a Mental Giant

The new season of Survivor started last night with 18 strangers on a boat in Koah Rang, South East Asia.  They will have to deal with scorching heat as well as the other challenging conditions that characterize Survivor.

They have already been divided into three teams based on the qualities they most rely on in their everyday lives... which, let's face it, for most of them is beauty... but this is Survivor, we're going to shoehorn these people into the mold we decide.

Brains tribe:
-Peter is the ER Doctor that looks a little bit like Obama - so that's what he gets called all the time... he tells us it's going to be hard for him to hide how smart he is and he can't deal with ignorant people (Ha! Are you ever in the wrong place.)
-Debbie is billed as a Chemist but we soon learn she's done a bit of everything and says the first line of the night for me, "In these challenges I'm going to kick @ss, because puzzles lie down for me like lovers." (Who are you kidding lady, you don't have lovers... she does have some crazy going on though.)

Brawn Tribe:
-Scot is a former NBA player/enforcer and something of a giant - he laughs and it's this deep resonating sound - oh, and he's laughing about stomping out weak players (eek.)
-Jason is the tattoo'd, ear-gauged, scraggly-bearded bounty hunter who wears his bad@ssedness on his tattoo sleeves - we learn later that he's also a veteran and the father of two little girls, so he does have a softer side that is only visible through the pink rhinestones in his ear gauges.

Beauty Tribe:
-Anna is a very pretty professional poker player who says she tries to use her looks to her advantage being a pro poker player - if an opponent is looking at her boobs, she may push them up a little more.
-Nick is a personal trainer who realizes his life has been easier because he's better looking than most people - he says he realizes that sounds awful (uh huh) but it's the truth. (I think Nick thinks he's better looking than he actually is... in my opinion.)

When they hit a certain point, the bell is rung which means they have two minutes and everyone starts scrambling to grab whatever they can off the boat and dump it onto rafts they've dropped in the water.  Literally stuff flying everywhere, chickens trying to make a swim for it, mangoes pelting down from above... and we meet a few more Survivors:

Beauty tribe: Caleb is the country boy army veteran that was formerly on Big Brother - he jumps in the water after the chicken that went overboard.
Brains tribe: Joe is the 71 year old former FBI agent who is good at keeping his cool in crazy situations - he says he's totally pumped for this - and honestly he is physically in awesome shape, he does look like he's been pumping iron for years.
Beauty tribe: Tai, 51 yr old Vietnamese gardener - he's trying to protect the chickens because he loves all living things... (Oh boy).

They are all overboard and paddling their over-burdened rafts to shore. We get our next taste of Debbie, "Who's a good swimmer? Cause I'm an excellent swimmer." (she was paddling and wanted to switch off to swim by the raft... she is already a loud-mouth know-it-all and my pick to be the first person voted out.)

Brawn - Day 1
-They get to shore and pretty quickly we realize one of these things is not like the other... who is the skinny blond waif and is she lost?
We meet the rest of the tribe:
Cydney - is a professional body builder, all of her life is about being strong, so she's in the right place.
Darnell - he's a postal worker and a student - but he's a pretty solid looking guy, I can see why he's on this tribe.
Alecia - 24 yr old real estate agent, skinny blond waif... she realizes that they may see her as Malibu Barbie but she's tougher than they think - she's been bungee jumping in Bali, face to face shark diving in Australia, been with uncaged tigers in Thailand... (that just tells me she has more money for travelling than brains) - but she seems to think this means she's fearless and she can do this [win Survivor.]
-Jennifer is a construction worker - and that's all they got to say about that apparently.

Being the Brawn tribe they get down to work building the shelter or, in Jason's case, getting a very rosy sunburn.  But they seem to be working well together, as Scot (Gigantor) said, "They're not pretty, they're not smart, but they are strong", and right now he thinks they have a great group.

Brains - Day 1
Liz - Quantitative Strategist - this is my girl in the pool and she strikes me as smart and level-headed (yay!)  Often smart brings along the crazy...
Cue Debbie - who just does not know how to stop talking and tooting her own horn.  First she points out that Peter looks like Obama and she's going to hear Hail to the Chief whenever she looks at him - then she zeros in on Joe, the oldest and apparently the only one that made eye contact with her because she is laser focused on him as she announces to everyone that she is a captain in the US Air Force Auxiliary, that she can build fire without flint, she has extensive training in shelter building, winter survival, summer survival, blah blah blah... but she continues to the camera that she's a chemist but she's been a photonics manufacturing supervisor, an electronics expert, a bartender, a caretaker to nuns and between jobs she picks up shifts at Red Lobster as a server. (Ho boy, methinks Debbie is that special type of delusional where she thinks everything she does is impressive when really, it's not.)
-Neal is the ice cream entrepreneur who admits he may be a little eccentric in his ice cream pants but Debbie has a whole other level of craziness.  She is telling Neal how to start a friction fire, so he gets going trying to make the fire - it's not working.  Debbie does try to step in at some point but she also cannot get a fire going - this is a huge concern since she's been lauding herself as the saviour of the tribe, being able to make fire - and is proving she can't do it.

Beauty - Day 1
-Life is beautiful in this tribe, they are all working together, everything is going well, everyone is pretty (this is Nick's current world view.)

Tai says what all of us are thinking - "Why am I here?" Big-headed bald asian dude with skinny little body - back home his boyfriend is going to wonder why they put him on the beauty tribe - but he thinks his personality makes him beautiful on the inside (aww, he's so cute.)  And he climbed the palm tree to cut fronds and get coconuts - being from Vietnam, this is Tai's hood.
Michele - Bartender - she is sizing up all the men on her tribe, knowing that different people want different things from you (cynical).  She decides she's going to hang with the girls for now.

This tribe totally split along gender lines when it came to setting up camp.  The girls are weaving palm fronds and talking about the boys, the boys are building the shelter and talking about the girls.

-Caleb wonders why Tai is on their tribe too - I think he's got to be their fish out of water, seems every tribe has someone who doesn't seem to fit. Brains tribe has odd ball Debbie, Brawn has Malibu Barbie Alecia and Beauty has bald gardener Tai.

Brawn - Day 1
-Alliances seem to be forming - Bounty Hunter Jason wants nothing to do with Blondie, won't even learn her name, but he's talking alliance with Scot, Jenny and Cydney.
-Darnell had it hard growing up in Chicago but he trusts his gut and this gut trusts Cydney - she wants to get the girls out first and align with the men. Then Darnell's gut tells him he's got to go to the bathroom - taking a dump in the water right near their camp where everyone can see him (really? Watch out for the brown trout indeed.)

Beauty - Day 1
The chickens get out and it makes my heart happy to watch them run around like idiots after the chickens, it's always one of my favourite things on Survivor when the chickens try to escape and white people lose their minds.  Tai just sits back and watches, shaking his head.  Nick also thinks it's crazy to expend that much energy on the birds but he catches one.

-They get two of the chickens back and Tai proposes they tie a rope to the legs of the two chickens and then tie a line between them, so they can roam but not get away.  Anna loves Tai's approach to everything and she wants to bring him in as the fourth in their girl alliance to give them the numbers.  Blonde girl who we haven't met yet (Julia) also loves that idea (and they don't even know he's gay yet.)
-Julia is a sorority girl and feels that will help her make friends and do well in this game.
-Caleb was beastmode cowboy from Big Brother (I don't watch that show at all) and he hopes all of them knowing him from that show doesn't hurt his game.  But he also joined the military right out of high school and has seen some things - he doesn't give up... and he was successful in making fire.  First tribe to have fire this season was the Beauty tribe (go figure.)

Brains - Day 2
Joe - He was a hostage negotiator in the FBI so he has street sense and intuitiveness that he thinks will serve him well in this game.
Debbie (who I noticed they billed as a Waitress this time) - refuses to use the saw to cut the bamboo- she starts trying to hack it with an axe... and she seems to think she and Joe are aligned being the oldest and wisest... I think he may have a different take on things.

Neal & Liz are discussing Debbie - first impression was that she looks strong and could be good to have on the tribe... and then she opened her mouth.  Neal also thinks they will have to get rid of the geriatrics on the tribe, they are just going to be too slow. (Oh, you mean the only people working on the shelter while you laze around in the water? Sheesh.)
-Neal and Liz think the four younger tribe members should stick together and Peter and Aubry agree.

Beauty - Day 2
Tai makes a big mis-step by obviously taking off on his own and looking for a hidden immunity idol.  Mr. I Love Every Living Thing, starts ripping up three small, dead trees assuming they must have been planted to hide something underneath them... The other members of the tribe notice he's gone and know what he's doing. He's now lost any hope of the rest of the tribe trusting him. (Way too early to do that dude, read the room.)

Brains - Day 2
They are out in the direct sunlight weaving palm fronds and sweating in the oppressive heat (why aren't you doing that in the shade?) Aubry starts to feel the effects of dehydration and then starts freaking out about being dehydrated - to the point of her having a panic attack... now she's lost any hope of the rest of the team thinking she is strong enough to survive out there.

Brawn - Night 2
Jenny is up in the middle of the night because she feels like there is a bug in her ear... she can hear it, it's going deeper and it's totally painful. (Why are you not calling medical to get it out... GET IT OUT!)
-The next day it's gotten worse and she's kind of freaking out - the rest of the tribe isn't sure what to make of this... I even started to wonder if she was just losing it and there was no bug in her ear... and then it crawled out (ARGGHH!!!) There was crusty blood in her ear and then this translucent wormy thing came out (OH MY SWEET JEBUS!)
-As soon as they got it out she was ready for the challenge because she was so pissed off.

IMMMUNITY CHALLENGE:
They had to swim out to a boat, get everyone on board then one person had to dive down to retrieve 4 paddles submerged in the water.  Once they had the paddles they had to paddle back to shore then push the boat up on a platform that would allow them to convert the boat to a cart by adding wheels - then they had to push & pull the cart up the beach - once they got to the top they would have to choose either puzzle or dexterity - puzzle is pretty straightforward, in dexterity they would have to stack balls while standing on a wobbly board (really?) Spoiler, no one chose dexterity.
Brawn - Darnell wanted to prove himself by volunteering to be the diver - but he immediately lost the mask and couldn't get the oars.
Beauty was the first team back to shore quickly but couldn't get the boat out of the water.
Brains and Brawn caught up on the beach and each team chose the puzzle.  Alecia on the Brawn tribe was useless and Scot took over but it was Aubry and Liz that blazed through the puzzle and Brains was the first team to finish.
Brawn & Beauty were pretty neck and neck to finish the puzzle but it was Beauty that pulled out the second place win.  Sending Brawn to Tribal Council.

Brawn - Day 3
They return from losing the challenge and Alecia starts the apology train saying she was sorry she couldn't get the puzzle done but then Darnell commandeers that train saying it was his fault they lost because he lost the goggles (mask) in the water.  He tells us that he was a lifeguard growing up in Chicago, "but who knew sea water was that murky?"
The rest of the day is Darnell and Alecia trying to save their butts and the rest of the tribe waffling back and forth between them.  Scot and Jason basically decide that Darnell is more dead weight to carry than Alecia but when they tell her she's safe she doesn't believe it and starts campaigning which just pisses them off.  Cydney doesn't want Darnell to go first and is going to make her wishes known at Tribal.

Tribal Council
-Jason comes off as a jerk saying that some of the people on his tribe can stand up to his high standards - the basketball player and bodybuilder - but Blondie (still doesn't know her name) and Darnell cannot.
-Alecia just starts talking and talking and her eyes keep getting buggier and buggier... she doesn't see herself as the weakest link - she says she's a mental giant (WHAT??? Alecia is definitely a salesperson, she is laying it on thick!)
-Darnell owns his mistake and takes the heat about losing the mask and the challenge but he pledges that he's going to get better and calls Alecia out for really not doing anything.
-Jeff Barbara Walter'ed Darnell, got him talking about having struggled growing up and how letting these people down has hurt him... and he gets choked up.  Alecia's eyes looked like they really were going to pop out, are you really crying at tribal council, dude?
-Jenny whispered in an aside to Jason that she didn't want to vote Darnell out.  Jason said he's not sure if they're doing the right thing...

Time to Vote:
Alecia tried to write Darnell without taking the cap off the pen.
Cydney votes for Alecia.

Tallying the votes:
No hidden immunity idols
Votes:
Alecia - 1
Darnell - 1
Alecia - 2
Darnell - 2
Alecia - 3
Darnell - 3 - the first vote end up a tie!  Wow.

So the four with no votes against them will revote and they can only vote for Alecia or Darnell.

Votes:
Darnell - 1, 2, 3... and DARNELL is the first person voted out. (Huh, I'm surprised - I thought for sure Blondie would be a goner.)

So that means Tamara J., Trish J., and Fraser G. are out of the pool and get their stake back.

Next time Debbie is not fitting in on the Brains tribe (no really?) and Tai tries to kiss Caleb (wwhhhaaat??? is happening this season? - it's cuckoo bananas so far!)

Darnell's final thoughts: It's really hard being the first voted out but he's enjoyed every moment out there.  This has been a life lesson, they can vote him out but he's not letting anybody bring him down.


Have a great weekend everybody,

Coleen

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