Sunday, March 25, 2012

The Amazing Race 20 - March 25th Episode Recap

This Is Wicked Strange (Baku, Azerbaijan)

This leg the teams learn they are heading to Azerbaijan, on the edge of the Caspian sea, it is a former Soviet Republic that is rich in oil and natural gas giving it the name the Land of Fire.  Once they touch down they must make their way to the Temple of Fire where they'll find their next clue.
-Art & JJ are the first to depart at 8:48am - coming in first 3 times in a row makes them feel like they could win this thing but they know they are one bad detour away from being humbled, they are not going to take any big gambles, stay with the pack and keep winning.  They are also keeping an eye on the Guidos, they keep improving every leg.
-Danny & Joey "Fitness"are the next team out at 9:17am - they are styling in retro 80's ski wear(ish) - they think they can go all the way, they are physically the strongest.
-9:19am - Vanessa & Ralph are going to be nicer to each other this leg (uh huh.) She is all smiles... gotta get that pretty screen time... and she's happy to be heading to somewhere warmer (hopefully.)
-10:57am - Dave & Blond Rachel - he says he still feels they are the team to beat, if they can stay supportive and minimize mistakes... she's driving and he's navigating and realizes they are going in the wrong direction (you were saying...)
-11:17am - Big Brother - Why is she wearing a green sequined headband? Yikes.  They are the only team that heads to a travel agency to pre-book tickets - first flight out is at 6:20pm. (Looks like they'll all be together again.)
-11:41am - Mark & Bopper - "Azer-Bay-Jan... are we going to Africa?"  "Land of Fire... sounds like African to me baby!" (I can't help but love these two.)
-11:42am - Nary & Jamie are the last team to depart - they try to sell us on their coming in last was a strategy to not be seen as a threat...(sure it was, had nothing to do with not being able to curl the gnome at all.)

Munich Airport
-Art & JJ go to the Turkish Air counter and she tells them the only flight out is the 6:20pm that will have them arriving in Baku, Azerbaijan at 4:10am.
-Danny (Guido) gets after Joey "Fitness"for talking to Vanessa & Ralph - they have a little tiff - "Saying hello isn't going to put me behind them."  Danny is all business, all the time... unless he's flirting with the ticket agent... or any woman that breathes.
-All the rest of the teams start arriving and they are all on the same flight.

Baku, Azerbaijan
-The flight touches down and they hit the ground running - Dave & Blond Rachel are the first out but very closely followed by everyone else in taxis heading to the Temple of Fire.
-At the temple there are people drumming and dancers in traditional garb dancing around fires... Dave & Rachel are the first team there and they run right into the fracas looking for the clue box - they find a door with a sign that says "Open at Sunrise."  They decide to ask the dancers if they have the clue and get pulled into the dancing... they have to wait until sunrise so why not dance!  Everyone gets there and gets into it.
-At sunrise the main drummer guy unlocks the door and they all squeeze into (what looks like a tomb) and grab a clue... which includes a Fast Forward: they must go to a roadside hay vendor, unload 150 bales of hay and stack them 10 wide, 3 deep and 5 high - first team to complete the task can skip all other tasks and go straight to the Pit Stop (No, thank you - that would be so physically demanding.)  Dave & Blond Rachel and the Guidos are both going for the FF.
-Nary & Jamie say no way - they read the Route Info: Go to Occupational Training Int'l and search the grounds for their next clue (it's in a big marked box in the center of the grounds.) Every other team is heading to OTI - Art & JJ already did one FF and the rules state they only get one so even if they wanted to go for it, they're not allowed.

Fast Forward
-Dave &Rachel and Jersey Shore get to the Hay vendor at the same time and they are racing - Dave and Joey head up on the trucks to throw down the bales while Rachel and Danny are stacking below.  She's keeping track of the number like they are supposed to - Danny's just stacking - they've gotten this far with no plan... (ha ha, that doesn't bode well.)

The rest of the teams are racing through the streets and Mark & Bopper got the Mario Andretti of cab drivers - normally that's a good thing on the Race but poor Mark gets motion sick when he's in the backseat... he's hurling in a barf bag (ha, poor guy.)  He's not too worried about it, "if I get a little sick, I get sick, beats us navigating ourselves, let me tell ya." (There you go, salt of the earth this guy.)  Art & JJ are laughing like I was, "That poor guy."

Back at the FF
-The Jersey Shore is pulling ahead.  Dave keeps throwing the bales right on her stack which she did start too close to the truck in my opinion, and he just tells her to fix it... (You know, Dave's kind of a buttface.  It's only a matter of time before he takes her out with a bale, I swear.)  She's getting it all in her eyes, can't see what she's doing.  She tells him she needs his help and he just keeps knocking bales down around her...(buttface.)
-Realizing there was no quitting - Rachel started working like a machine to keep the Jersey Shore at bay - both of these teams were working for that Fast Forward.

-Art & JJ are the first team to get to Occupational Training Int'l but they get out of the taxi too early to search the grounds, Mark & Bopper pass them and go on to the building, everyone else is stopping to search the grounds as well - while Mark &Bopper get the clue for the Roadblock: What goes down must come up.  Oil is the number one industry in Azerbaijan and to get to the off shore oil rigs they take helicopters.  In this Roadblock, one team member must perform a helicopter ditch rescue training exercise.  In a pool they will be in a training module that flips upside down and fills with water - they have to escape the module and swim up to the life raft to get their next clue. (That's so scary.)  Bopper is going to do it for them - probably a good thing, Mark would probably have to puke.
-The rest of the teams finally make their way to the clue box: Jamie, JJ, Brendon and Vanessa are going to be in the pool... (She's going to get her hair wet.  The Horror!)

-Dave & Blond Rachel prove that once they start working together they can get things done... they finish the 150 bales stacked correctly first and they earned the Fast Forward... Dave just keeps saying she's a frickin' workhorse (likes that's a compliment).  And the Jersey Guidos have to now try and catch up at the Roadblock - in the cab, Joey "Fitness" mutters, "got beat by a frickin' girl." (Yes, you did - and it does my heart good.)

-Back at Terror in the pool: JJ, Bopper and Jamie are all going at the same time in the simulator.  They get instruction to tuck, then put their hand on the window frame and push really hard to pop the window out, then they have to swim through the frame.
- Watching from the sidelines Mark tells Nary that Bopper has a big ol' crush on Jamie... Really? Aw, it's kinda cute.
-And here we go: They are submerged, have to hold their breath... then the thing rolls and JJ had a moment of panic, little bit of flailing but they all find the windows and make their way out and to the rescue raft to retrieve the clue. (I'd like to think I could do it, but I think I would have panicked.)
-The clue tells them they must make their way to a certain carpet shop to get the next clue.

-Rachel & Dave make it to the Pit Stop - they win two new Ford Taurus SHO's.

-Pool of Terror - Brendon is doing it alone... I guess Vanessa took too long getting ready or something.  He makes quick work of getting out of the simulator and Big Brother takes off. 
Vanessa's afraid of closed in spaces and being under water...(great, this is the perfect task for her.)  She gets submerged but has trouble pushing the window out - as soon as it pops she gets out of there right quick. Ralph says what I was thinking, "She's going to be pretty pissed her hair is wet."(Yup.)

-Jersey Shore arrives at the Roadblock, they have some time to make up for sure - Joey "Fitness"is getting in the pool. 

-At the Carpet shop: All 4 teams arrive at basically the same time and get the clue to the Detour: Apples or Oil:
-In Apples: They must rummage through an old soviet car full of close to a ton of apples, looking for the one apple marked with a race flag (like leaves stuck in the top)- they can exchange that apple for the next clue.
-In Oil: Apparently locals soak in oil for it's therapeutic properties (I said, Pardon?).  The teams must clean up one of the locals after he's taken an oil bath using a metal shoehorn to scrape off the crude oil, then wiping off the remainder with water and sponges (oh, no way) - once the bather is oil free, they spa attendant will hand them their next clue.
-Big Brother, Mark & Bopper and Art & JJ are going to do Oil. (Really?)  Jamie & Nary opt for Apples. Nary says scrubbing some guy, kinda gross. (I'm with you ladies.) 
-Back in the cabs and Mark is puking again - (Man, that has got to suck.) Bopper just laughs.

And the Terror pool - Joey Fitness has lifeguard experience and he's good in the water so he has no problems knocking out the water rescue - Danny is really glad he didn't do this one.  They take off at a run for their cab and the carpet shop.

-Vanessa & Ralph get to the carpet shop and the clues are standing up on top of rolled up carpets, right in front of their faces - they don't see them - start looking among the carpets (these two are not the brightest bulbs.)

-Art & JJ get to the Spa and are led to the first stall - there is a tall, hairy man with gold teeth waiting for them - and then thick, black, crude oil starts pouring into the tub out of the spigot... they both kind of freak out, "Is that normal?"  Then the guy gets in it... "No, no, what the hell is going on?"  He stands back up and he's like a Nutella covered man (hahaha)  JJ, "Art, this is wicked strange."  (It is very weird... that can't be good for you, come on!)

-Jamie & Nary get to the apple cars and they are going way too slowly, carefully examining every apple for a marker... it will be obvious - get moving ladies.  Oh, and they play up the "teachers love apples" We know you're not teachers, who are you trying to fool?, no other teams are there.  They do have a crowd of local men watching them though... do women not go out in public or something?  Oh, then they show Jamie bent over in the trunk... I get it now.  Even the crowd is telling them to hurry up - Why U No Listen?

-Back at the Oil baths - Art & JJ say their guy was as hairy as a St Bernard... LOL.
-Mark & Bopper show up and get to bathing their guy.  Mark, "They got so much harr (hair) on them, it ain't right." 
-Art, "This is so wrong."  They are down to the sponging stage - working on the guys feet now and he's ticklish.
-Brendon & Rachel are working on their own hairy dude now - There is nothing right about this...
-Art snaps at JJ to stop trying to be funny and let's just get this done... yeah, it stops being funny when you have to clean a strange man's junk... ugh, toes. 
Moral of this story - it's hard to get oil off people.

-Vanessa & Ralph are still searching the carpet store until the bright yellow clues finally stand out to them - We are buffoons (glad you said it.)  They are going to do the Apples, Vanessa knows it would take a long time to get oil of someone.

-Back at the apple car Nary & Jamie are still too slow and Ralph & Vanessa show up, they get started on their own car - Vanessa gets right in the trunk and is hucking the apples out into boxes, yeah, they're working faster.

-Art & JJ are the first finished cleaning their hairy Azerbaijani man - they get the clue for the Pit Stop.  In the cab, JJ says they feel kinda violated - If you want a million dollars sometimes you just got to bite the bullet and scrub a man's junk. (Hahaha... where do they come up with these tasks?)
-Mark & Bopper are the next one's done - Mark says to his guy, "You're starting to squeak, ain't ya?" Get it? Squeaky clean?  They head out for the Pit Stop.
-Big Brother is right behind them - surprisingly, we've seen very little drama out of these two today.

-Jersey Shore gets to the carpet store and finds the clue right away - they are going to do the apples.

-Jamie finishes the trunk and starts helping Nary in the back of the car and they find the marked apple. Yay!  They get the clue to the Pit Stop and try to high 5 people on the way out but apparently open celebration is not encouraged among the black clad men.
-Vanessa & Ralph are still searching and getting discouraged, it's like the apples are multiplying.    They start to just push a bunch of the apples around and they find the marked one!  Yay.  They take off in their cab but next thing you know their driver has stopped and jumped out of the cab... What is he doing?  They think he's asking for directions but he disappears. (That's not good.)

-The Jersey Shore has arrived at the apple challenge and they get started digging apples out of the back of the car.   They start rooting around and find the marked apple - it seems like very quickly.

Here's How They Finished:

1) Dave & Rachel - now they're back on top they want to stay on top.
2) Art & JJ - They'll take a 2nd place when a FF's in play, cause it's actually a win.
3) Mark & Bopper - We're still here!  We're making our way back.
4) Brendon & Rachel - They've improved their placing every leg - just making their way up to first.
5) Jamie & Nary - "Aww" Not super happy to hear they are #5, were hoping they beat the oil guys.
6) Vanessa & Ralph - Oh, Cheese & Crackers.  (That is their annoying catch phrase.)
7) Joey "Fitness" & Danny - **ELIMINATED** They are disappointed, they think they could have won but they made a fatal mistake (not winning the Fast Forward) and it just wasn't their day.  They are happy they made it 6 legs, people that know them would be surprised they could make it that far.
And with the Guidos leaving the Race, Katie L, Sharleen H, Kevin R, Heather G and Donna P are out of the Pool.

In Two Weeks - the teams head to Africa and the cat fight between Vanessa & BB Rachel erupts in Rachel calling Vanessa old and Vanessa calling her ugly (essentially).  Oh yeah, it gets ugly.

Have a great week everyone - and Happy Birthday Janine!

Coleen.






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