Amazing Race - March 28th Episode Recap

"Anonymous"

Last night on the Amazing Race the teams were starting out from the Champagne region of France – Louie & Michael (the Detectives) are the first to head out at 12:35am – they get the clue that tells them they’ll be flying 5Kmi to the Seychelles Islands – because of it’s remoteness all the teams will be on the same flight. Once they get to the Isle of Mahe, they must make their way on foot to a marked kiosk where they’ll take a number.
-Louie and Michael says they’re racing so much smarter, paying attention – Michael’s new mantra is “read the clue again” – if Michael can put up with Louie’s snoring, Louie can put up with ‘read the clue again.”
-Carol & Brandy next out 1:28am– Brandy is excited to be able to wear her bathing suit (ugh.)
-Steve & Allie are the next out – they have no idea where they’re going. Steve says the adrenaline in this race is as close as you can come to being in the World Series, he's very proud of how his daughter is handling herself out there.
-Cowboys also have no idea where Seychelles is at – but they’ll find it.
-Dan & Jordan – read they’ll have to take a number so know they’ll have to book it to the kiosk when they land.
-Lastly, Caite & Brent head out a good 4 hours after the Detectives – she butchers the pronunciation of their destination (but we know geography isn’t her strong suit) Brent says their lack of details and focus is hurting them. (Ya think?)

At the airport the Cowboys and Detectives decide to go to a restaurant and eat before checking in (Read your clue!) – the rest of the teams are getting their seat assignments close to the front of the plane.
-Brent & Caite are first off the plane and #1 at the kiosk – the first three teams (including Steve & Allie and Dan & Jordan) will go by helicopter to the Island of La Digue, the remaining teams will go one hour later. So the Lesbians, Detectives and Cowboys have to wait (bummer). On the island they’ll get the next clue.

-The first teams take off, each has their own helicopter so they are staggered – the islands, water, etc is just beautiful. Allie says a prayer of thanks for the experience (Oh, it’s like that is it…)
-Back at the airport Carol & Brandy (of course) are b*tching about the three strongest teams being 4th, 5th & 6th. They think Brent & Caite got lucky today.

-Brent & Caite land and get the DETOUR clue – Turtle Tottle or Ox Trot.
Turtle Tottle: Teams must use a banana to lure a giant tortoise (about 100yrs old and 500lbs) across the lawn (where they have lanes set out) then each team member has to pick up a large bunch of bananas, carry them 1 ½ miles to the harbour and deliver them to the fruit merchant to get their next clue.
Ox Trot: Teams must bring a cart to a clearing where they must load it up with coconuts without losing any cargo – then the ox-hand will attach an ox to the cart and teams must deliver the cargo to the harbour where the fruit merchant will give them their next clue.
-Brent & Caite choose Ox Trot – they get loading the coconuts and he’s being super positive, she’s surprisingly silent…
-Allie & Steve – Steve wants to go with Tortoise Tottle – the tortoise always beats the hare and he never met an ox he could trust. "Turtles are cool man." (Whatever you say, man.) They choose a tortoise that’s facing the wrong way and Steve drops their banana in with it… sheesh.
-Dan & Jordan decide to go with the ox.

-The next three teams are now on their way – the Cowboys say they’re not giving up until Phil tells them to leave.

-Caite & Brent have their cart loaded up – except the one coconut she bounced off the other side… Brent: If we get a good ox we’ll be able to get ahead. (You know they’re going to have to come back … they keep showing the one dropped coconut.)
-Allie’s got the tortoise moving forward and he’s making good time, for a tortoise.
-Dan & Jordan get to the carts just as Brent & Caite are leaving driving their ox-cart.
-Brent & Caite are arguing as they try to drive – Dummy – You’re a friggin’ idiot – No, you’re a friggin’ idiot (Ah, young love.)
-Allie & Steve get the tortoise across the line – Whoo! They’re stoked. They grab their bundles of bananas and take off … but leave their backpacks.
-Dan & Jordan – trying to load the coconuts – why does this pile seem to never end? (It is a lot of coconuts.)
-Allie & Steve pass Brent & Caite on foot since their ox has decided to stop moving for them. Brent says that’s what he was afraid of (why does each one of them have one of the reins? You both are dummies.) Allie is struggling with the bunch of bananas, it’s heavy and awkward and she has banana smooshed all over her shirt – eww.
-Dan & Jordan made sure they had all the coconuts in the cart before they headed out – but their ox decided to relieve himself just as they got in the cart – looked like both of them wanted to jump out - yuck! Jordan, “Oh, that’s gross.” (I’m with you buddy.)

-The Detectives have landed and decide to do the Ox Trot.
-Carol & Brandy – went to do the Tortoise Tottle.
-Cowboys – decide to do Ox Trot (no brainer there.)

-Dan & Jordan have named their ox Box in honour of their father who owns a packaging company and always says he makes boxes for a living. "Come on Box!" (Okay, that's kinda cute.)

-The Detectives are loading the cart.
-Carol & Brandy get to the tortoises and see Steve & Allie’s packs – they choose a tortoise and read that they’re not allowed to choose another one – great.
-Cowboys get to the ox carts and start loading – just like home, but they’re used to loading feed – not whatever these things are… (Yeah, at this point I’m not surprised Cord’s never seen a coconut.)

-Steve & Allie get to the harbour and hand over the bananas for the next clue – it tells them swim out to one of the marked schooners which will take them to St Pierre Island where they’ll get their next clue. Off they go.

-Brent & Caite still fighting and not driving – the brothers (Dan & Jordan) pass them and get to the merchant first and get their clue. The Merchant tells Brent & Ciate they don’t have enough coconuts and won’t give them the clue. “That’s crap, we did the whole pile!” They stand around and argue – Brent says he’s quitting. (Really?  I don't think we'll be that lucky.)

-Steve & Allie are heading out on the boat when they see Dan & Jordan on the beach with their packs. Allie realizes they should have their packs… (get the boat to turn around!) Steve says they have their money and passports in his fanny pack so he’s fine with abandoning the packs. She really wants her pack – no change of clothes or her make up. He says he’ll go back if she wants to but she’s beautiful and doesn’t need make up and they’ll lose their lead… (that's right, lead with the compliment to get your way...) but it is a race and she decides it must be God’s plan for them and lets the packs go.

-Brent & Caite finally get back in the cart and head back – she’s crying, do disheartened to be going backwards (this happens to them every leg, you’d think they’d learn, or at least be used to it by now… but no.) Caite – “This is so unfair!” she whines. (Yeah, whatever princess.)
-The Detectives have all their coconuts – Michael made sure, read the clue over, checked the coconuts over…
-Carol & Brandy get their tortoise out of the crate but he starts heading in the wrong direction and then bites Brandy (see, animals always know!)

-Allie & Steve get to St Pierre island and the boat captain gives them the clue for the ROADBLOCK – Treasure hunt (sort of).
One team member must head underwater and find a submerged case of 7 bottles – figure out how to untie them then bring one of the bottles up to the surface – the boat will take them back to the harbour where team members must then extract the puzzle/map from inside the bottle and work together to complete the map since it’s a map to the PIT STOP for this leg of the race.
-Steve is a good swimmer and jumps in for them – he makes quick work of retrieving the bottle and the boat heads back.

-Carol & Brandy’s tortoise is not interested in the banana so they decide to change tasks.

-Dan & Jordan get to the Roadblock and Jordan jumps in for them – he finds the bottles quick enough but he has to go down a couple times to untie the bottle then to retrieve it from the bottom after he drops it… d’oh!

-Detectives and Brent & Caite pass on the road as B&C are heading back to the coconut area – Brent & Caite are still bitter and yell at the Detectives, “He told us we didn’t have enough coconuts” (it was your own screw up, idiots.) The ox-hand is pointing at the one coconut they left behind – Brent – God, this is ridiculous. Caite – It’s so unfair. (It’s like she just said, “But, I’m pretty.” Everyone had to play by the same rules honey.)
-Cowboys are still loading the cart – they’ve never driven oxen before but Cord’s brother had a buffalo once (isn’t Jet his brother, who was he talking to there?) Carol & Brandy get to the ox carts just as Brent & Caite are leaving for the 2nd time and correctly surmise that they must have screwed up somewhere. The Cowboys are now ready to head out but they’ve missed a coconut (oh crap) they think they haven’t dropped any.
-Lesbians in last place – Brandy beans Carol with one of the coconuts as it bounces off the cart – by accident – Carol – Like I haven’t been stomped on enough (Little Mary Sunshine this one.)

-Steve & Allie get back to the beach and think they’ll be heading off to see Phil when a whole bunch of pieces fall out of the rolled up map. Steve is frustrated they have to solve a puzzle, he just wants to go… but they get it together quickly and head off.
-Dan & Jordan get in right behind them and get the map together.

-The Detectives get to the fruit merchant and get the clue to head out on the boats

-Cowboys catch up to Brent & Caite and pass them with their ox cart – Then Brent & Caite find some spark and pass the cowboys on the right but bump their cart – Hey, that should be a penalty… Brent & Caite get the clue this time and head down to the beach to get a boat.
-The Cowboys are told they didn’t load all the coconuts – “Are you serious?” Jet says he wanted to take that guy by the collar and show him all those coconuts really close… but Cord says okay, they jump back in the cart and head back to the coconut place.
-The Lesbians, meanwhile, are frantically loading – Brandy bounces one over the other side and quickly looks around the side but it’s under the cart and she doesn’t see it…

-The Detectives are now just ahead of Brent & Caite in the boat but their boat isn’t sounding very healthy… Brent is saying maybe one day things will go right for them – it’s all about luck (and reading the clue, and double checking) and Brent & Caite are able to pass the Detectives – Michael is frustrated because the boat is something they can’t control – Looks like Brent got his bit of luck after all. This pisses the Detectives off.

-Carol & Brandy head out in their ox-cart – Brandy isn’t very optimistic that they’ll have luck with the ox (way to think positive lady). They’ve left a coconut behind as well.
-The Cowboys pass the Lesbians on their way back so they know they’re in last place now – Brandy and Carol think that bodes well for them… Until they get told by the fruit merchant that they didn’t load all the coconuts – We’re done.  Carol blames Brandy – “I think when you threw them in some went over the side.” (Oh no, you ditn’t!) or as the white girls say, "It is what it is."

-Brent does the Roadblock for them – he gets a bottle even swimming holding a life jacket (weird, they don’t really mention anything about that) “Good job, Baby – I love you.” (Oh, it’s ‘baby’ time again.) He gets back to the boat and says “Baby, you just going to stand there or help me here?”
(Yeah, baby, Baby, baby, baby… I don’t know why that drives me – but it does.)
-Michael does the swimming for the Detectives and Louie breaks the bottle on the boat – they can’t do anything with the map until they get back to shore though.

-Carol & Brandy pass the Cowboys on the road again – Carol says they should have paid them to pick up the coconut they missed too – Cowboys now know they’re not in last – there’s still hope.
-The Cowboys get the clue to hit the waves and put on board shorts – new look for them but they know you can’t swim in jeans and a Speedo was out of the question. They put the hats back on as soon as they’re on the boat (ha ha.) Jet says they’re not worried about swimming, can’t load coconuts for sh*t, but they can swim.

-Brent & Caite and Michael & Louie all get back about the same time but Louie is not a strong swimmer and they fall behind in the water. On the beach Brent & Caite get the map together then share with the Detectives – they don’t want the Detectives gone, they want other teams out first so it makes sense for them to work together now.

-The Cowboys get to the Roadblock and Cord jumps in and is back with a bottle almost before Jet finishes reading the clue – the captain heads them back to shore and Cord tries to give him the bottle (Oh My Gravy! Keep the damn bottle!)

-Brandy does the swimming for them – Carol was supposed to do this Roadblock (I think) but she’s not a good swimmer (she’s going to have to start doing some of the Roadblocks though, Brandy can’t do them all.) They get the bottle and head in.

-Jet & Cord jump off the boat and head in to shore… without the bottle… they find Phil at the mat and he tells them they are the 5th team to arrive. Jet – Can you believe that? Over one stinkin’ coconut?
Phil – So, how did you guys find the Pit Stop? We just had an idea it’d be up the beach…
Phil tells them they will have to retrieve the bottle and bring the contents to shore before he can check them in… Jet looks like he wants to hurt someone but Cord – Okey dokey - Just takes off running. (Come on you two, get it together!)

-As they are swimming back out to their boat they see Carol & Brandy’s boat coming in so they know they’ll be behind them…
-Carol & Brandy get to shore, put the map together then go the wrong way…Cowboys swim back in and start for the Pit Stop…  (See, I can't even make any snarky comments - I was holding my breath the whole time at the end.)

Here’s How They Finished:

1) Steve & Allie – That’s official – This was the 7-Up sponsored leg so they will get an uplifting prize – dinner and massages on the beach, $7K each and all the 7-up they can drink. Allie – God has a plan, wants us to grow – however much longer we’re in the race without a backpack is worth it to me. Steve assures Phil he has their money and passports’ so going without a change of clothes and amenities is their choice.
2) Dan & Jordan – V for team #2.
3) Brent & Caite – just ahead of the Detectives
4) Michael & Louie – Phil tells Louie by the end of this he may actually be fit – Louie flexes his muscles and … oh my (Caite gasps) who would have guessed he had a physique like that hiding under there? Louie says they’re in it to the end.
Phil asks him who they want with them at the end – they say Brent & Caite (because they’re standing right there) and the Cowboys. They’d like Carol & Brandy to go because they’re so negative – bad vibe to have around. Caite pipes up that she’d like them gone too – they’re so rude and mean to her. Brent says, “Among the teams, it’s pretty anonymous…” Louie or Michael supplies, “Unanimous”… Brent – Oh yeah… (LOL - Those two totally deserve each other.)
5) Carol & Brandy – No Way! How the Hell…? Doesn’t matter, they’re so happy not to be last. (And I should be too, they’re my team after all… but I just can’t like them.)
6) Jet & Cord – Jet spikes the map down on the mat – “There’s your map” Phil tells them they are the last team to arrive… sorry to tell you… the next leg is going to be pretty tough – This is a NON-ELIMINATION round! (Phew! I can breathe again.  I wasn’t ready to see the Cowboys go – now get it together boys!)
Jet says champions don’t always come in first, they can get bucked off but get right back on. Once you hit bottom there’s nowhere to go but up.
Cord says he should write a country song.  Jet - I should (air twangy guitar…)
(See these two are naïve bumpkin gold!)

So, no one is out this week, we all have an Easter Reprieve.
And having just realized that it’s the Easter long weekend next weekend – I guess both Survivor and Amazing Race recaps will have to wait until Tuesday morning…Have a great week and long weekend everyone.

Coleen