Amazing Race - March 21st Episode Recap

"Cathy Drone?"
Teams are heading out from the pit stop of a quaint NE French country town to another French town of Reims. In Reims they must find the only outdoor statue of Joan of Arc which is outside a gothic cathedral where the kings of France used to be coronated. There they must, “Listen for what they saw,” and get their next clues from a woman playing a saw by the statue.

-Michael & Louie are the first to head out at 7:47am – its cold like December in New England – they’re used to the temperature and conditions; Michael – We’ll own this continent.
-Allie & Steve next to leave, she can’t figure out the map (‘cause lots of people in the US don’t have maps and such, there as… Ah, making fun of Caite never gets old to me.)
-Cowboys are the next out – they have no idea where Reims is – looking for a business in this town of 37 people to ask directions – Jet – I’ll see if I can find us a 7-11 (and I think he was serious.)
-Dan & Jordan heading out at 8:17am, they just want to go somewhere warm – nope – staying in France. Speculate that “Listen to what you saw” could mean the statue speaks, like a pull string doll “Hi, I’m Joan of Arc.”
-Carol & Brandy – 8:39am – Want to have a country house in this little town – Carol thinks it would be a little quiet living there – but they could keep a flat in Paris for shopping (Actually, that sounds really nice.)

-Louie & Michael get to Reims – looking for the statue – Steve & Allie try to ask a native but there is a language barrier, Allie suggests maybe it’s Arc de Joan in French, like the ‘Ark De Tri-omphe’ (trying to get the mid-western twang in there.) Jet & Cord are also in Reims, looking for the statue.
– Dan & Jordan actually get out of the car and ask a woman on the street – she tells them the statue is at the cathedral – Jordan looks at her like she’s speaking a foreign language (which she is)… he says, “Cathy Drone?” (HA,ha haha) Dan gets it though – Oooh, Cathedral. Jordan seems put out that people don’t speak good English there (yeah, how dare they not speak English in France.)

-Caite & Brent are finally heading out at 9:48am – Brent is driving so maybe they’ll find Reims.

-Louie & Michael get out of the car and head to the tourism office.
-Steve & Allie find locals to take them to the statue – they see the woman playing the saw and get the clue – a champagne cork for LeClerc Briant Champagne - the local/guide tells them its in Epernay. Steve says he’d love a little bubbly (I think Dad’s a drinker.)
-At the Tourism office they tell the Detectives the statue is out on the square.
-Jet & Cord see the square and think – statues are usually in squares – they head in and hear the lady playing the saw – get the cork and know there is a town called Champagne about 40mi up the road, figure they’ll go there (NOOOO!)
-Louie & Michael are right behind them and get the cork and just head back into the tourism info centre to find out where to go (smart.)
-Dan & Jordan get to the statue and get the cork – they also head into the tourism centre and see Louie & Michael – they all find out the winery is in Epernay and head out.
-Carol & Brandy get the cork – Brandy is singing she wants some champagne (Ugh, shut it woman. I just can’t stand her – the chipper, sweetness is so fake – we know you’re not nice, stop trying to make us think otherwise.)

-Finally, 10:28am – Jeff & Jordan (team Big Brother) are heading out from last weeks pit stop. Jordan, “Joan of Arc, he carried all the animals…” Jeff, “She, it’s a she. [laughs] That was Noah.” They’re laughing – “At least we know why we’re in last place.” (At least they can laugh at themselves. I’m actually starting to like these two.)

-Allie and maps is not such a good combo – they’re stuck in a round-about – she can’t figure the map out.

-Michael & Louie and Dan & Jordan get to LeClerc Briant Champagne – a beautiful stone building – inside is the clue box and the ROADBLOCK – "Who’s ready to cave in?” Phil says they’ll have to learn how to party like its 1799. They must rappel 100ft down into the winery cellar and search among the racks of champagne for a marked bottle, and then they have to take off the cork with a saber which will cause the champagne to shoot out along with their next clue (which is in a vial in the bottle.)
-Jordan’s going to do the task for them and Louie for the detectives. Jordan’s going first and is ready to pee himself (not in a good way) when he sees the dark, narrow shaft he’ll have to rappel down (I’m going to leave that one alone, just reminding you, he is the gay brother.)
-Steve & Allie finally find the place and head in to see Dan waiting at the table. I think Steve has a rep as a drinker – Dan says it’s his kind of place. They decide Steve’s going to do the task for them.
-Jordan gets down and starts looking through the bottles – not sure where they’ll be marked and there are LOTS of bottles. Louie is making his way down the shaft now, he’s very quiet – I think he may be a-scart (scared). (The shaft is all stone and pretty well lit with rope lights, it looks kind cool actually.)

-Meanwhile – Jet & Cord get to Chalons en Champagne and finally ask someone where to go to find the place on the cork – the local tells them they’re in the wrong town – not just the wrong place – the wrong town. They look disgusted with themselves. Oh My Gravy! They now think they could be in last place because of this bonehead move – head back to Epernay.

-Jordan finds the marked bottle and now has to run up stairs – he takes the cork off with the saber and the clue in the bottle says, “Taittinger, La Marquetterie” – they need to figure out that it is a chateau and vineyard in a nearby village where they’ll find their next clue. Louie is now in the cellar looking through the bottles and Steve is heading down the shaft. (Every time a type that I giggle, I said ‘shaft’ – I’m so mature.)

-Brent & Caite are looking for the statue of Joan of Arc – maybe this one with the animals. Caite says Joan of Arc’s a guy – Brent, “No she’s not, why do you think her name is Joan?” Oh, I was thinking of someone else. (Sure you were, like NOAH! She totally thought Noah’s ark too – What do they teach these kids now-a-days? Oh my Gravy.)

-Louie finds a marked bottle and heads up the stairs (more cardio for the big man.) Steve is down and starts looking. The Detectives get the next clue – oh, here we go again.

-Brent & Caite – bicker, bicker, bicker – she’s such a pouty teenager. They finally ask and find out the statue is outside the cathedral – get in the car and snap, whine, pout, bicker (someone definitely peed in her cornflakes today.)

-Steve & Allie get the next clue and head out just as Carol & Brandy show up at the Roadblock. Brandy bitchy because she has to do all the heights things (you agreed to it, jeez) down she goes. Carol – “Hopefully she’s not in a piss-ass mood when she comes back up.” (I wouldn’t hold my breath on that one.)

-Dan & Jordan get directions at a tourism place – she tells them they have to go back to Reims – Jordan thinks the girl was so cute – it never hurts if you can find a good looking person that can give you directions. (Uh, okay… Of course pretty often does not equal smart in this race, but we’ll see.)
-Detectives stop at a hotel –there they’re told the place is in Pierry and the people offer to lead them there – follow that Porsche!

-Caite & Brent get the cork from the saw playing lady and head off.

-Brandy gets the marked bottle and the clue to the next destination.

-Steve & Allie stop and ask a guy painting a house where Taittinger is and he tells them Reims.
-Carol & Brandy get directions at a local business and she tells them it’s in Pierry. (Uh oh, I’m seeing a pattern here.)

-The Cowboys finally get to the Roadblock and are relieved to see they’re not last (still clues in the box) Cord is going to rappel down - he’s not too sure about it but down he goes, hat and all. Jet sees there have been four teams ahead of them by the opened bottles on the table – Not a good day for them, they started out in 3rd.

-Jeff & Jordan get the cork from the saw player and actually realize where they need to go (is it bad when I’m surprised when they don’t do something stupid?)

-Cord finds the marked bottle, heads up, knocks off the cork, gets the clue – Oh.My.Gravy – they can’t even read the French clue – they ask a woman passing by on the street and she tells them Taittinger is in Reims.

-The Detectives are following the nice Frenchman through France in a Porsche – doesn’t get any better than that. They are the first at the Chateau (so Pierry is the correct location) and they get the clue for the DETOUR: Tower or Terra.
In Tower – the teams must use 680 glasses to build a tower – 15 levels high with only one glass at the top – if they can figure out the equation and fill the tower with champagne without breaking any glasses they’ll get their next clue.
In Terra – they must search the barren vineyard – one square kilometer – for a bunch of grapes marked with the race colours – then bring them to the harvest man to get the next clue. (Both these sound really hard – what are they doing to them this season, wow.)

-Michael & Louie are both like bulls in a china shop so they decide to do the searching one (Terra) – but 1 sq Km is huge – oh man.

-Dan & Jordan get to Reims and the Taittinger HQ where they are told that the champagne is made there but the chateau is actually in Pierry – they are in the wrong town. Jordan – lesson here is don’t always trust a pretty girl. That’s how fast you can go from first to last.

-Back at the Roadblock – Brent does the descent into the cellar, finds the marked bottle, gets the clue and they’re back in the car – Caite’s pouting in the back seat that they didn’t even get to drink any champagne (Oh God, someone please smack her!)
-Jeff & Jordan get to the champagne cellar – Jeff does the rappel, she doesn’t want to have anything to do with a cave – they haven’t seen anyone but you never know, other teams could get lost or something.

-Steve & Allie get to Reims and Steve hits something with the car as he spots the Taittinger sign on the wall. Oops. He mangles the front bumper – we’ll have to fix that later – they head inside only to find out they’re in the wrong town. They take off in the car but the plastic is rubbing on the wheel and they have to stop and try to fix it somehow.

-Jeff finds a marked bottle, sabers off the cork and is the only one to take a swig before the guy can take the bottle away (atta bo-oy!) They get the clue for Taittinger and when they ask directions are told it’s in Reims too – they really can’t catch a break these two.

-Steve is trying to break off the rubbing piece of the bumper with his feet but it’s not working – have to call for a new car… or will they? Steve has Duct tape in his bag (which his wife made him bring) and he jimmy’s the bumper – we’ll see if it works (I’m with the wife, Duct tape will fix anything, temporarily.)

-Michael & Louie still searching the vineyard – going to set up a grid search when ‘ol eagle-eye Mike’ spots a marked bunch of grapes. He says, “If I can find crack in someone’s rear-end, I can find marked grapes.” (Ugh… ew.) They get the clue to the Pit Stop – L’Orrca, an historic mansion across town.

-Jet & Cord get to Reims and find out from a woman on the street that they have to go to Pierry… Man, wrong town, again. Cord says people pay thousands of dollars to take the tour they inadvertently took today… for free. (Way to stay positive – I love these two.)

-Dan & Jordan get to the Chateau and decide to do the Tower. Jordan says if you get a choice between a luck challenge and a skill challenge, always choose skill. (Hmm, I don’t agree, depends on if you posses that skill or not, I’d say.) He says they’ve seen their share of champagne towers at bar & bat mitzvahs they’ve attended over the years, should be no problem.

-Carol & Brandy get to the Chateau and choose Terra – to search out the grapes – Carol says, “There are very few grapes, I guess that’s a good thing.” (I don’t know- I see Brandy bitching and them quitting this one.)

-Caite is accosting people on the street demanding they tell her where Taittinger is – no one knows. (Maybe if you were nice and Oh, I don’t know, Smiled, they might try to help you – She is Miss Poopy-Diaper this leg.)

-Carol & Brandy searching and Carol finds a bunch of marked grapes. Wow, my prediction was totally wrong – and look at that, Brandy can smile. They get the clue and head out for the Pit Stop.
-Dan & Jordan still building the tower. (How’s that skill challenge coming there?)
-Steve & Allie get to the Detour and decide to search for the grapes. Steve, “Hopefully they’ll pop out at me like that curb did.” (Ha, he’s funny.)

-So, Caite & Brent are looking for the Detour and they see the Lesbians asking cops for directions to the Pit Stop but figure they are looking for the Detour too and decide to just follow them. Caite thinks they’re so awesome (serves them right.)
- They get to the Pit Stop right behind Carol & Brandy and Phil calls them down to the mat but they realize they haven’t done the detour yet – and take off, that’s twice now – The Lesbians glaring after them – wondered how they’d gotten there so quickly.

-Allie finds marked grapes and Dad says, “You may not be able to read a map but you’ve got eagle eyes.” Steve asks the guy with the clue if he’s a mechanic (but you duct-taped it, good as new.)

-Jeff & Jordan get to Reims and find out they’re in the wrong town – head back out.

-Brent & Caite get to the Detour and decide to search for grapes – oh, he decides and she doesn’t want to do it and acts like a sullen little sh*t (again) thinks he’s stupid… whine, pout, sulk. (How old is she anyway?)
-Dan & Jordan get a pyramid built but it’s only 12 levels – now what? They decide to stack 3 more glasses singly one inside the other to make 3 more levels (oh, that’s sturdy.)
-Cowboys get to the detour finally and decide to do Terra – they start running through the fields trying to cover as many rows in as little time as possible and they find marked grapes and are gone.
-Brent and Caite watch this and instead of copying their technique she uses this as an excuse to try and change tasks (she just wants to get her way) and stops helping him at all.
-Inside the brothers now have to try and pour the mother of all champagne bottles over their precarious tower and neither one of them is over 5’ 8” I’d guess. They get to stand on a box and he starts pouring, slowly and steadily… and it works! Good for them. They celebrate with one glass of champagne each and head out for the Pit Stop.
-Brent finally gives in the Caite’s bitchy attitude and they head in to do the tower. He calls her Miss Perfect and says he’s just going to do what she wants from now on because she’ll wear you thin to get her own way – they get the tower built but the top is not very sturdy and he starts pouring – on her direction, slower, slower – but the glasses still topple. They head back out to search the field.
-Jeff & Jordan show up and are excited to see another team’s still there – they decide to do the tower since Brent & Caite are in the field they figure it’s harder. Jeff starts stacking the glasses but they don’t even get it done and the glasses start toppling.
-Brent finds grapes and she’s finally seeing the light – Sorry Babe (Little late now.)
-Jeff & Jordan are searching for grapes with flashlights at this point- Jeff – “Why are we doing this? To teach kids to stay in school? (Hahaha.) Jordan finds a marked bunch…

Here’s how they finished:

Phil is standing with a mime at the mat; the mime is holding a sign welcoming them to Champagne-Ardenne

1) Michael & Louie – they won trips to Cancun, Mexico. They’ve come in first again – Michael says Europe has been fun, wishes they’d had this attitude in South America, maybe they would have done better.
2) Carol & Brandy – Phil wants to know if they’ll be the first all-female team to win – Brandy says she doesn’t want to jinx it but we’ll work really hard and do our best, then smugly, yeah, we’re gonna win. (Okay, I’m all for a female team winning the race and I even have this team in the pool but I don’t like them…sigh.)
3) Steve & Allie – Steve tells Phil he hopes he’s insured for the car. (Sheepish shrug - Eep.)
4) Jet & Cord – It was a scary day for them – glad they’re the middle of the pack at least.
5) Dan & Jordan – expecting to get calls for bar mitzvahs now for their champagne tower skills – but they won’t be cheap.
6) Brent & Caite – really frustrated and annoyed to be last.
7) Jeff & Jordan - ***ELIMINATED*** Doing this was priceless, they got to do fun stuff and she’d never travelled before – it was the best.

So, with Team Big Brother out of the race, that means Brittany & Sarah R, Bernice R, Steve H and Laurie W are out of the pool. Sorry guys.

Next week – they are heading to Seychelles islands (I think) and Brent & Caite continue to fight until he threatens to quit the race. (OOOhh, has that ever happened before?)

Have a great week everyone,

Coleen