Be Safe and Don't Hit a Cow
Last week I was disappointed that horrible honeymoon couple Max & Katie skated on a non-elimination leg, but this week they will face a Speed Bump, we'll see if they can redeem themselves.
Still in Botswana, Bates & Anthony are the first team to head out at 5:39am. The clue tells them to drive themselves to the Boro Village and find their next clue.
-Being first out, having a lead, it's all new to them (but I'm sure they can get used to it.)
-Pam & Winnie are the 2nd team to depart at 6:11am - they know you have to be smart and you have to be strong. Their strong suit is their smarts and they feel they race better alone, so they want to avoid the pack and continue to make smart decisions. "This show should just be about us, let us race alone and we'll be fine." (They were joking - but could you imagine, what a snore-fest.)
-Chuck & Wynona had their earliest finish last week and head out 3rd at 6:17am - they run for the cars and Wynona's complaining that Chuck's going to wear her out before they get started (come on lady, suck it up!)
-Joey & Meghan start out at 6:23am and they do a little Keystone Cops, running off in different directions (oh you crazy kids!)
-Caroline & Jennifer next at 6:28 and we learn that they credit their faith for keeping them grounded (Oh sweet Jebus. They have god on their side, how can they lose?) They really are thankful to God for them getting this far.
-Roller Moms 6:37am - they're not sure where the cars are parked.
-Max & Katie 6:49am - they're also not sure where the cars are - they are upset with how badly they are under performing in the Race so far. Wandering aimlessly, Max says this is stupid [they can't find the car] and she says, "You're stupid." Then he says, "I know." (REALLY? Wow, she's horrible to him and he seems okay with it - it must be love.)
-The Hockey Brothers have stopped at the office of the camp they stayed at overnight to ask directions - the ladies tell them the road is bad and they might get lost so they should go with someone else. Anthony isn't feeling very confident, it's hard being in front without someone ahead to follow and cheat off of (well at least he's honest.)
-Pam & Winnie and Chuck & Wynona encounter skinny cows on the road - Pam says they don't look like California cows - Wynona tells Chuck to be safe and don't hit a cow - Wynona also says, "there is just a smell about Africa. It smells like a big ball of dung." (Wow, the whole continent huh?)
-Joey & Meghan have stopped at a gas station to ask for directions. He says they have been getting stronger as a team but directions still screw them up - especially being from the GPS generation, getting directions from people is, like, so hard. "Oh my god, what do we do? It's just so confusing." (Imagine wildly gesticulating arms with that last sentence and you've got Joey.)
-Caroline & Jennifer are enjoying the sites, God has really blessed them... until they get pulled over for speeding (Jebus, take the wheel!)
They are confident that they can sweet talk their way out of a ticket but the pretty blond thing didn't work - they are getting written up... as the Roller Moms drive on by. Jen & Caroline now have to go to the police station and pay 920 pula (approx $100) - the policeman waves, "Have a nice day." (Ha ha) The blondes, "Yeah, thanks a lot!"
-Max & Katie have still not found the car. Katie, "Instead of running around like an idiot, stop and think where you parked it." (Seriously lady? You were with him when he parked it, use your great big brain and figure it out - sheesh!) Finally he tells her to just stop ragging on him, if she thinks it's so easy she can do all the extra stuff from now on. (Hey! Max does have some balls) they find the car and she sits and pouts in the back seat.
-Bates & Anthony successfully found the clue box (way to go boys, all on your own and everything) they get a clue to a Roadblock and a Fast Forward - they are going to do the FF (obviously) "Have some fun on the waters of the Okavango Delta!" They have to make their way to the riverbank - which is right there - passing signs that say 'Danger Crocodiles, Do not swim'. And the FF says both of them must stay up on water skis for a mile up the river. This gives them pause - last time Bates tried to water ski he couldn't get up out of the water - Anthony says he can do it and they are going to give it a try. (Do or do not, there is no try! I believe the force is strong in these two :)
-On the boat, Bates asks the guy what the crocodile situation is like, he says there's nothing, they checked last night. Bates response, like my own, was: A lot can happen between now and last night (amen, brother.)
-Off they go, and Bates gets up, oh, oh, it's touch and go, he's pretty wobbly but finally he gets his center and they are water skiing on a river in Africa (how cool is that?)
-Pam & Winnie are still driving and getting worried that they are way out in the middle of nowhere, then they turn a corner and, there they are (phew!) Pam gets so excited when she sees the FF but quickly realizes the only other team there must have done it. They read the ROADBLOCK: Who wants to go up a creek without a paddle? (No one, I'm guessing.) They must use a traditional hollowed out canoe made from a single tree to transport two goats upstream to a nearby goat pen, then travel back down river to receive the next clue.
-Winnie says she's going to do this one. First they have to go collect two baby goats, Pam sits with them in the canoe and Winnie must stand up in the back and use a pole to push them along. Winnie's finding it difficult and so is Pam when the goats start peeing all over her leg (Welcome to Africa, ha, ha, ha.)
-Meanwhile the Hockey Brothers have successfully water skied a mile up the river so they stop and then they show a crocodile on the river bank (it'd be scarier if they didn't show the safety jet skis also following them...) but they won the FF on their first try - the boat will then take them farther up river and they will be driven to the Pit Stop. As they get going again, the guys in the boat show them the crocodile on the bank - "What were we doing in the water?" "Well, now we can say we swam with crocodiles!" (Holy, I'd be changing my drawers.)
-The Country Singers get to the police station to pay their speeding ticket and find out that they won't take American money, it has to be pula (still feeling blessed?)
-Chuck & Wynona get to the Roadblock, figuring the Hockey Players did the FF, Wynona is going to tackle this Roadblock (and they've already shown us it's going to go badly.)
-And it starts badly from the beginning with Wynona having trouble catching the goats, then one of them escapes when she expects it to just walk over to Chuck... (what kind of country girl is she?) She figured it would act like a dog. And she isn't confident standing in the boat so she's going to try and do it from her knees (uh oh.)
-Roller Moms get there and Beth (? I think) is doing it.
-Joey & Meghan are lost. They are driving through trees to the river, and a bunch of little kids surround the car waving at the camera... they have to turn around, they're in the totally wrong place.
-Max & Katie, in the car he's being positive, "We're doing good." And Miss Sour Pouty face says, "I believe the correct term is doing well." (I think my fist would look well hitting your face! I dare you, correct my grammar again!)
-Back at the police station, Jennifer is trying to find somewhere to exchange money. A guy tells her it's just up the road but she would have to drive and she can't leave Caroline there so she gives him the money to do the exchange... then, almost as an afterthought, asks him to please come back. (Wow, that is really trusting of her, but she has Jebus on her side, what could go wrong?)
-She tells the camera this could be a huge mistake, apparently they won't let Caroline leave the police station so this, hopefully, nice man has offered to exchange money for them... She gave him a hundred dollars and hopes that she will see him again. "This is such a nightmare."
-Next thing they show is Max & Katie passing the 60 mph sign, she warns him to slow down... and he gets pulled over by the same cops that got the Country Singers. While Max is out getting the ticket, Katie is bad-mouthing him to the camera, "He's supposed to be the man but he can't find the car and now he gets a speeding ticket. He's just digging his own grave." (I just can't even... this is her new husband - she is unbelievable.)
-Back at the police station, Jennifer is certain they are in last place when their Good Samaritan comes back with the money (belief in mankind restored!) he gets a big ol' hug for his troubles, "Thank you, you are so nice."
-Bates & Anthony are sunbathing in the boat, showing us some man-candy as they get to cruise on to the pit stop. Bates says, "can't get much better than this, sitting here in my underwear, enjoying the scenery - and Africa looks nice as well." (Ha ha, cheeky bugger.) They get to shore and get in the truck heading for the Pit Stop.
-Back at the Roadblock, Pam & Winnie have made it upstream to the goat pen, delivered their babies and are hoping heading downstream will be easier.
-Wynona is whining that the boat's not going where she wants, Chuck is trying to direct her on what to do but he can't help her and she is the type to get frustrated and give up (great. You better suck it up lady, I'm not ready to be out of the pool yet.)
-Beth & Mona are having a tough time with it too - Beth is also trying to do the poling while kneeling in the boat and it just doesn't give you the same leverage. Mona is trying to help direct her but they have a little bicker as well - it's probably doubly as hard being in the boat and being allowed to help.
-Joey & Meghan are still lost - and have to ask directions again... we'll see if they can figure it out this time. Driving places is going to be the death of them.
-Caroline & Jennifer make it to the Roadblock and before Jen even finishes reading the clue - Caroline is in the goat pen, "OOHHH, I LOVE GOATS!" and they scatter. (Chill out lady, you're freaking them out.)
-Chuck & Wynona have finally made it upstream and delivered the goats, now she's trying to take them back ... bicker, bicker.
-Caroline finally grabs two goats and they get in the canoe, Caroline is poling from the middle and Jennifer is sitting in the back with the goats (we'll see how that works for them.)
-Pam & Winnie pass the country singers as they come in - "How cute are those goats?" (Really? Actually, I just realized there are still a lot of girl-only teams on the race - you go girls!)
-Beth & Mona haven't made much progress, they see the Country Singers are there and Mona tells Beth she's got to stand up and do it like the locals... she's up.
-Pam & Winnie get the next clue, Route Info - they must take a water taxi up the river, then take a safari taxi to the Royal Tree Lodge Game Preserve to get their next clue. They feel like they're in an adventure movie in the water taxi, flying up the river (after the canoe, I bet.)
-Speaking of the canoes - Wynona is about to ram the Roller Moms and, since neither Beth or Wynona have any control they can't steer away, Beth gives them a little push... Chuck wasn't too happy they were playing roller derby on the water (oh come on, you nearly rammed them broadside... it was not as dramatic as he played it up.)
-Caroline is doing pretty well with poling the canoe, she says in her everyday life now she doesn't do a lot of this stuff but growing up she used to be more of a tomboy - she's loving these hardcore challenges, it's like reliving her childhood.
-Max & Katie get to the police station.
-Joey & Meghan are still totally lost.
-Chuck & Wynona finally make it back and get the Route info clue.
-Mona & Beth and the Country Singers both deliver their goats at the same time and the Country Singers pass them leaving the goat pen - Caroline is good at poling the boat and Jennifer is so glad that she did this one. In the other boat, Mona is really not happy that Beth did this one.
-Winnie & Pam and Chuck & Wynona are enjoying their water taxi ride up the river. Once on land, Winnie is again complaining about all the poo everywhere (princess, Pam got peed on, you can step in a little poo.) Chuck is sure that ride didn't make the hairdo look too good (I don't think it hurt it any, it never looks very good.)
-Caroline & Jennifer get back and get the Route info clue. Beth & Mona are right behind them.
-Back at the Police Station, Max & Katie are leaving (they must have had the correct currency) when Max backs into a pole... the one and only thing anywhere near them... he hits it. (Hm, maybe she does have a point, after all she must know him better than I do.) They are just going to keep going (what else can you do?) She says maybe she should drive and he says he'd be more than happy to have her drive, it's so stressful (oh no, I'm sure in her mind it's the man's job.)
-Meghan & Joey are still driving aimlessly, she's now praying that they find the place, when they spot another team and are following them (doesn't matter where they are going - they are just happy to have found someone!) They see Max & Katie as being sent by God to guide them (sure) Joey is praising Jesus!
-Katie is glad to see them too, at least they're not last. Max says if they get beat by them [Joey & Meghan] they should be going home anyway (Really? They beat you last leg. Just saying.)
-Max & Katie get to the Roadblock and see they have to complete their Speed Bump first.
SPEED BUMP: they have to finish beading a skirt (looks like a short hula skirt but with beaded stings instead of straw) then take part in a traditional seduction dance (which consisted of shaking their butts like there's no tomorrow.) Once the dancers have decided that they have made the right moves, they can continue racing.
-Joey & Meghan, meanwhile, can start the Roadblock - figuring it's a physical challenge, Joey is doing the poling - they hope they can finish it quickly and overtake Max & Katie completely.
-Pam & Winnie have arrived at the next clue pouchy-thing - and get the clue to the:
DETOUR: Brains or Brawn - will require them to use two of Botswana's most used animals, horses or donkeys.
In Brains: they must go on a horseback safari searching for 10 animal cut outs. Then using only their memory, they must put tiles representing the cut outs in order as they appeared on the ride to get the next clue.
In Brawn: they must stack wood on a traditional sand sleigh, then using a dangling carrot, they must persuade a team of four donkeys to drag the sleigh 1/2 a mile to a camp. Once they've delivered their allotted wood, they'll get the next clue.
-Pam & Winnie, after saying their strength is their brains, decide to do brawn. (Just shaking my head, I would never work with donkeys given a choice, and I hate horseback riding.) They pick a pile of wood and start dragging it over to the sleds.
-Chuck & Wynona - going Brains. (See, they're not just pretty faces.) They can't write anything down so they are going to keep shouting out and repeating what they see. "Zebra, buffalo, kudu..." Wynona don't sing like the country girls but she's making a song out of it.
-Country Singers and Roller Moms get to the Detour and they both decide to do Brawn. (I wish I could read the clue, because I just can't understand why anyone would choose that one.)
-Back at the Roadblock - Joey is having trouble in the canoe, he almost falls over standing up so he kneels down and is using the pole like a kayak oar (that's not right.) He says it's working a little bit (not enough.)
-Speed Bump - the ladies take Max & Katie into a little hut one at a time and put some red paint on their faces (Katie hated that - Not the Face!) "I don't really know what was going on in the hut."
-Detour - Pam & Winnie cannot get their donkeys to move - the back ones want to go but these two stubborn asses in the front... Country girls show up along with the Roller Moms and they haven't moved an inch. Right away Pam & Winnie feel the anxiety and pressure of other teams and decide to switch tasks (why they chose this one is still a mystery to me.)
-Caroline has no trouble getting her asses moving (ha) she is talking sweet to them and just starts pulling them along, and they go. Mona is also taking charge of the donkeys and they are moving... I think Winnie and Pam were just too timid, show them who's boss and they go!
-Max is proving that he is a white boy trying to shake his tail feather, it's in the hips, man... Katie's not much better but they get the okay and start the Roadblock - when he reads 'who wants to go up a creek without a paddle' he knows it's got to be him, he's had experience with that so far. Let Miss Bossy pants sit back and tell you how it's done.
-Oh, and Joey has them going in circles - he's useless at the boat thing.
-Winnie & Pam are up on the horses and are excited they changed tasks, this feels like fun. Zebra!
-Chuck & Wynona have the first 5 animals, Wynona's singing her song and now Chuck has to remember the next 5.
-Joey & Meghan finally delivered their goats and are just starting back when they pass Max & Katie (he made up a lot of time for them).
-Caroline & Jennifer are moving along well with the donkeys until their sled gets stuck on a tree (way to direct it Jennifer!) Allowing Beth and Mona to overtake them.
-Chuck tells the camera it's always been his dream to come to Africa to hunt, all the trophies (he is a taxidermist remember) he has are domestic US - he'd love to have a kudu or a lion (oh, stop, yes I eat meat but I don't like hunting for sport... la la la) Back on the trail, Chuck is remembering his 5 and Wynona is complaining her backside is getting sore (she's almost as bad as Katie, just not as sour-faced.)
-Joey & Meghan finish the Roadblock and head out for the Detour on the water taxi. Max & Katie are right behind them. In the boat Katie says they just have to beat Joey & Meghan, they have to kill it in the Detour or they are done.
-Roller Mom Beth is using her loud Roller voice to keep the donkeys moving but when they get to the camp they can't get them to stop. Mona has to try and hold them in place and let Beth unload the wood.
-Caroline & Jen have a similar issue. They try to stop the donkeys and one of them shies and almost kicks Caroline... eek! A handler comes over to hold the animals and they unload.
-Roller Mom's get the clue to make their way to the river bend and find the Pit Stop. Country Singers are right behind them.
-Chuck & Wynona finish the ride and quickly get their tiles in order... they were a little iffy on the last one - hippo with a bird on it... no hippo, must be the bird - and they are right! Get the clue to the Pit Stop.
-Pam & Winnie are commenting on how pretty their horses are and they miss one of the cut outs (uh oh - they can't do brain or brawn, what's left?) When they see the last one, hippo with the bird on it, figure it must count as two... not realizing they only saw nine.
-Joey & Meghan get to the Detour clue and decide to do Brawn - they take off running as Max & Katie pull up - they also choose brawn. (Head to head battle.)
-Pam & Winnie put their tiles in order and they are incorrect - "oh my gosh, we have to go back to the beginning?" (Yup! So pay attention this time!)
-Joey & Meghan have the same issue Pam & Winnie did with the donkeys, they are not forceful enough. Katie doesn't have that problem - she gets those things moving, they know who's wearing the pants! Joey is slapping the donkey in the face with the carrot - no go.
-Finally they change so Meghan is leading and they get the donkeys moving - they try to pass Max & Katie and get their sled stuck on a tree... could be because Joey is a spaz and keeps running up beside the donkeys so they shy sideways into things (he just gets so excited, I don't think he can control himself. Or, he's just not so smart.)
-Meanwhile, Pam & Winnie have gone through the ride again and, I believe, have made the same mistake - again.
-Max & Katie get to camp just ahead of Joey & Meghan, they are all unloading their wood and Katie says again if Joey & Meghan beat them in a brawn test they deserve to go home (if only...)
-Pam & Winnie missed the Ostrich again (because of course they couldn't have missed one the first time) so instead of trying again, they decide to switch tasks again and take off to do donkeys - (goodbye girls.)
-Joey & Meghan unload their wood faster and get the clue just before Max & Katie - they all take off running.
Here's How They Finished:
1) Bates & Anthony - they won $7500 each (a total $15K). This is their 3rd first place finish but they aren't taking anything for granted, they know the other teams are coming for them.
2) Mona & Beth - there is lots of jumping up and down and screaming when they hear they are team #2
3) Caroline & Beth - Girl Power on the Mat today!
4) Chuck & Wynona - They are good to go! Don't count us out. (I think Wynona thought they would have finished higher.)
5) Joey & Meghan - just ahead of...
6) Max & Katie - Phil plays with them a little, gets them all on the mat together and says, "just not your day... but you'll have to muster a little more strength because you are not the last teams to arrive." "What?" (That's what I said...)
7) Pam & Winnie - **ELIMINATED** They are proud of how they ran the race, they can't feel too bad, they got see and do so many amazing things - they are choosing to focus on the positives. And we didn't see them cry, Pam said "Crying is for b*tches" and I guess she meant it.
So, with Pam & Winnie leaving the Race, Susan N, Kim A, Fred & Gary M, Alexis G and Shelly P are out of the pool.
In Two weeks (so they must not be on next week): They go from Botswana to Switzerland and revisit the cheese rolling challenge... in the SNOW! (OMG) And Wynona goes over the edge, whining while rock climbing, but what else is new?
Hope everyone had a great Easter,
Coleen
Last week I was disappointed that horrible honeymoon couple Max & Katie skated on a non-elimination leg, but this week they will face a Speed Bump, we'll see if they can redeem themselves.
Still in Botswana, Bates & Anthony are the first team to head out at 5:39am. The clue tells them to drive themselves to the Boro Village and find their next clue.
-Being first out, having a lead, it's all new to them (but I'm sure they can get used to it.)
-Pam & Winnie are the 2nd team to depart at 6:11am - they know you have to be smart and you have to be strong. Their strong suit is their smarts and they feel they race better alone, so they want to avoid the pack and continue to make smart decisions. "This show should just be about us, let us race alone and we'll be fine." (They were joking - but could you imagine, what a snore-fest.)
-Chuck & Wynona had their earliest finish last week and head out 3rd at 6:17am - they run for the cars and Wynona's complaining that Chuck's going to wear her out before they get started (come on lady, suck it up!)
-Joey & Meghan start out at 6:23am and they do a little Keystone Cops, running off in different directions (oh you crazy kids!)
-Caroline & Jennifer next at 6:28 and we learn that they credit their faith for keeping them grounded (Oh sweet Jebus. They have god on their side, how can they lose?) They really are thankful to God for them getting this far.
-Roller Moms 6:37am - they're not sure where the cars are parked.
-Max & Katie 6:49am - they're also not sure where the cars are - they are upset with how badly they are under performing in the Race so far. Wandering aimlessly, Max says this is stupid [they can't find the car] and she says, "You're stupid." Then he says, "I know." (REALLY? Wow, she's horrible to him and he seems okay with it - it must be love.)
-The Hockey Brothers have stopped at the office of the camp they stayed at overnight to ask directions - the ladies tell them the road is bad and they might get lost so they should go with someone else. Anthony isn't feeling very confident, it's hard being in front without someone ahead to follow and cheat off of (well at least he's honest.)
-Pam & Winnie and Chuck & Wynona encounter skinny cows on the road - Pam says they don't look like California cows - Wynona tells Chuck to be safe and don't hit a cow - Wynona also says, "there is just a smell about Africa. It smells like a big ball of dung." (Wow, the whole continent huh?)
-Joey & Meghan have stopped at a gas station to ask for directions. He says they have been getting stronger as a team but directions still screw them up - especially being from the GPS generation, getting directions from people is, like, so hard. "Oh my god, what do we do? It's just so confusing." (Imagine wildly gesticulating arms with that last sentence and you've got Joey.)
-Caroline & Jennifer are enjoying the sites, God has really blessed them... until they get pulled over for speeding (Jebus, take the wheel!)
They are confident that they can sweet talk their way out of a ticket but the pretty blond thing didn't work - they are getting written up... as the Roller Moms drive on by. Jen & Caroline now have to go to the police station and pay 920 pula (approx $100) - the policeman waves, "Have a nice day." (Ha ha) The blondes, "Yeah, thanks a lot!"
-Max & Katie have still not found the car. Katie, "Instead of running around like an idiot, stop and think where you parked it." (Seriously lady? You were with him when he parked it, use your great big brain and figure it out - sheesh!) Finally he tells her to just stop ragging on him, if she thinks it's so easy she can do all the extra stuff from now on. (Hey! Max does have some balls) they find the car and she sits and pouts in the back seat.
-Bates & Anthony successfully found the clue box (way to go boys, all on your own and everything) they get a clue to a Roadblock and a Fast Forward - they are going to do the FF (obviously) "Have some fun on the waters of the Okavango Delta!" They have to make their way to the riverbank - which is right there - passing signs that say 'Danger Crocodiles, Do not swim'. And the FF says both of them must stay up on water skis for a mile up the river. This gives them pause - last time Bates tried to water ski he couldn't get up out of the water - Anthony says he can do it and they are going to give it a try. (Do or do not, there is no try! I believe the force is strong in these two :)
-On the boat, Bates asks the guy what the crocodile situation is like, he says there's nothing, they checked last night. Bates response, like my own, was: A lot can happen between now and last night (amen, brother.)
-Off they go, and Bates gets up, oh, oh, it's touch and go, he's pretty wobbly but finally he gets his center and they are water skiing on a river in Africa (how cool is that?)
-Pam & Winnie are still driving and getting worried that they are way out in the middle of nowhere, then they turn a corner and, there they are (phew!) Pam gets so excited when she sees the FF but quickly realizes the only other team there must have done it. They read the ROADBLOCK: Who wants to go up a creek without a paddle? (No one, I'm guessing.) They must use a traditional hollowed out canoe made from a single tree to transport two goats upstream to a nearby goat pen, then travel back down river to receive the next clue.
-Winnie says she's going to do this one. First they have to go collect two baby goats, Pam sits with them in the canoe and Winnie must stand up in the back and use a pole to push them along. Winnie's finding it difficult and so is Pam when the goats start peeing all over her leg (Welcome to Africa, ha, ha, ha.)
-Meanwhile the Hockey Brothers have successfully water skied a mile up the river so they stop and then they show a crocodile on the river bank (it'd be scarier if they didn't show the safety jet skis also following them...) but they won the FF on their first try - the boat will then take them farther up river and they will be driven to the Pit Stop. As they get going again, the guys in the boat show them the crocodile on the bank - "What were we doing in the water?" "Well, now we can say we swam with crocodiles!" (Holy, I'd be changing my drawers.)
-The Country Singers get to the police station to pay their speeding ticket and find out that they won't take American money, it has to be pula (still feeling blessed?)
-Chuck & Wynona get to the Roadblock, figuring the Hockey Players did the FF, Wynona is going to tackle this Roadblock (and they've already shown us it's going to go badly.)
-And it starts badly from the beginning with Wynona having trouble catching the goats, then one of them escapes when she expects it to just walk over to Chuck... (what kind of country girl is she?) She figured it would act like a dog. And she isn't confident standing in the boat so she's going to try and do it from her knees (uh oh.)
-Roller Moms get there and Beth (? I think) is doing it.
-Joey & Meghan are lost. They are driving through trees to the river, and a bunch of little kids surround the car waving at the camera... they have to turn around, they're in the totally wrong place.
-Max & Katie, in the car he's being positive, "We're doing good." And Miss Sour Pouty face says, "I believe the correct term is doing well." (I think my fist would look well hitting your face! I dare you, correct my grammar again!)
-Back at the police station, Jennifer is trying to find somewhere to exchange money. A guy tells her it's just up the road but she would have to drive and she can't leave Caroline there so she gives him the money to do the exchange... then, almost as an afterthought, asks him to please come back. (Wow, that is really trusting of her, but she has Jebus on her side, what could go wrong?)
-She tells the camera this could be a huge mistake, apparently they won't let Caroline leave the police station so this, hopefully, nice man has offered to exchange money for them... She gave him a hundred dollars and hopes that she will see him again. "This is such a nightmare."
-Next thing they show is Max & Katie passing the 60 mph sign, she warns him to slow down... and he gets pulled over by the same cops that got the Country Singers. While Max is out getting the ticket, Katie is bad-mouthing him to the camera, "He's supposed to be the man but he can't find the car and now he gets a speeding ticket. He's just digging his own grave." (I just can't even... this is her new husband - she is unbelievable.)
-Back at the police station, Jennifer is certain they are in last place when their Good Samaritan comes back with the money (belief in mankind restored!) he gets a big ol' hug for his troubles, "Thank you, you are so nice."
-Bates & Anthony are sunbathing in the boat, showing us some man-candy as they get to cruise on to the pit stop. Bates says, "can't get much better than this, sitting here in my underwear, enjoying the scenery - and Africa looks nice as well." (Ha ha, cheeky bugger.) They get to shore and get in the truck heading for the Pit Stop.
-Back at the Roadblock, Pam & Winnie have made it upstream to the goat pen, delivered their babies and are hoping heading downstream will be easier.
-Wynona is whining that the boat's not going where she wants, Chuck is trying to direct her on what to do but he can't help her and she is the type to get frustrated and give up (great. You better suck it up lady, I'm not ready to be out of the pool yet.)
-Beth & Mona are having a tough time with it too - Beth is also trying to do the poling while kneeling in the boat and it just doesn't give you the same leverage. Mona is trying to help direct her but they have a little bicker as well - it's probably doubly as hard being in the boat and being allowed to help.
-Joey & Meghan are still lost - and have to ask directions again... we'll see if they can figure it out this time. Driving places is going to be the death of them.
-Caroline & Jennifer make it to the Roadblock and before Jen even finishes reading the clue - Caroline is in the goat pen, "OOHHH, I LOVE GOATS!" and they scatter. (Chill out lady, you're freaking them out.)
-Chuck & Wynona have finally made it upstream and delivered the goats, now she's trying to take them back ... bicker, bicker.
-Caroline finally grabs two goats and they get in the canoe, Caroline is poling from the middle and Jennifer is sitting in the back with the goats (we'll see how that works for them.)
-Pam & Winnie pass the country singers as they come in - "How cute are those goats?" (Really? Actually, I just realized there are still a lot of girl-only teams on the race - you go girls!)
-Beth & Mona haven't made much progress, they see the Country Singers are there and Mona tells Beth she's got to stand up and do it like the locals... she's up.
-Pam & Winnie get the next clue, Route Info - they must take a water taxi up the river, then take a safari taxi to the Royal Tree Lodge Game Preserve to get their next clue. They feel like they're in an adventure movie in the water taxi, flying up the river (after the canoe, I bet.)
-Speaking of the canoes - Wynona is about to ram the Roller Moms and, since neither Beth or Wynona have any control they can't steer away, Beth gives them a little push... Chuck wasn't too happy they were playing roller derby on the water (oh come on, you nearly rammed them broadside... it was not as dramatic as he played it up.)
-Caroline is doing pretty well with poling the canoe, she says in her everyday life now she doesn't do a lot of this stuff but growing up she used to be more of a tomboy - she's loving these hardcore challenges, it's like reliving her childhood.
-Max & Katie get to the police station.
-Joey & Meghan are still totally lost.
-Chuck & Wynona finally make it back and get the Route info clue.
-Mona & Beth and the Country Singers both deliver their goats at the same time and the Country Singers pass them leaving the goat pen - Caroline is good at poling the boat and Jennifer is so glad that she did this one. In the other boat, Mona is really not happy that Beth did this one.
-Winnie & Pam and Chuck & Wynona are enjoying their water taxi ride up the river. Once on land, Winnie is again complaining about all the poo everywhere (princess, Pam got peed on, you can step in a little poo.) Chuck is sure that ride didn't make the hairdo look too good (I don't think it hurt it any, it never looks very good.)
-Caroline & Jennifer get back and get the Route info clue. Beth & Mona are right behind them.
-Back at the Police Station, Max & Katie are leaving (they must have had the correct currency) when Max backs into a pole... the one and only thing anywhere near them... he hits it. (Hm, maybe she does have a point, after all she must know him better than I do.) They are just going to keep going (what else can you do?) She says maybe she should drive and he says he'd be more than happy to have her drive, it's so stressful (oh no, I'm sure in her mind it's the man's job.)
-Meghan & Joey are still driving aimlessly, she's now praying that they find the place, when they spot another team and are following them (doesn't matter where they are going - they are just happy to have found someone!) They see Max & Katie as being sent by God to guide them (sure) Joey is praising Jesus!
-Katie is glad to see them too, at least they're not last. Max says if they get beat by them [Joey & Meghan] they should be going home anyway (Really? They beat you last leg. Just saying.)
-Max & Katie get to the Roadblock and see they have to complete their Speed Bump first.
SPEED BUMP: they have to finish beading a skirt (looks like a short hula skirt but with beaded stings instead of straw) then take part in a traditional seduction dance (which consisted of shaking their butts like there's no tomorrow.) Once the dancers have decided that they have made the right moves, they can continue racing.
-Joey & Meghan, meanwhile, can start the Roadblock - figuring it's a physical challenge, Joey is doing the poling - they hope they can finish it quickly and overtake Max & Katie completely.
-Pam & Winnie have arrived at the next clue pouchy-thing - and get the clue to the:
DETOUR: Brains or Brawn - will require them to use two of Botswana's most used animals, horses or donkeys.
In Brains: they must go on a horseback safari searching for 10 animal cut outs. Then using only their memory, they must put tiles representing the cut outs in order as they appeared on the ride to get the next clue.
In Brawn: they must stack wood on a traditional sand sleigh, then using a dangling carrot, they must persuade a team of four donkeys to drag the sleigh 1/2 a mile to a camp. Once they've delivered their allotted wood, they'll get the next clue.
-Pam & Winnie, after saying their strength is their brains, decide to do brawn. (Just shaking my head, I would never work with donkeys given a choice, and I hate horseback riding.) They pick a pile of wood and start dragging it over to the sleds.
-Chuck & Wynona - going Brains. (See, they're not just pretty faces.) They can't write anything down so they are going to keep shouting out and repeating what they see. "Zebra, buffalo, kudu..." Wynona don't sing like the country girls but she's making a song out of it.
-Country Singers and Roller Moms get to the Detour and they both decide to do Brawn. (I wish I could read the clue, because I just can't understand why anyone would choose that one.)
-Back at the Roadblock - Joey is having trouble in the canoe, he almost falls over standing up so he kneels down and is using the pole like a kayak oar (that's not right.) He says it's working a little bit (not enough.)
-Speed Bump - the ladies take Max & Katie into a little hut one at a time and put some red paint on their faces (Katie hated that - Not the Face!) "I don't really know what was going on in the hut."
-Detour - Pam & Winnie cannot get their donkeys to move - the back ones want to go but these two stubborn asses in the front... Country girls show up along with the Roller Moms and they haven't moved an inch. Right away Pam & Winnie feel the anxiety and pressure of other teams and decide to switch tasks (why they chose this one is still a mystery to me.)
-Caroline has no trouble getting her asses moving (ha) she is talking sweet to them and just starts pulling them along, and they go. Mona is also taking charge of the donkeys and they are moving... I think Winnie and Pam were just too timid, show them who's boss and they go!
-Max is proving that he is a white boy trying to shake his tail feather, it's in the hips, man... Katie's not much better but they get the okay and start the Roadblock - when he reads 'who wants to go up a creek without a paddle' he knows it's got to be him, he's had experience with that so far. Let Miss Bossy pants sit back and tell you how it's done.
-Oh, and Joey has them going in circles - he's useless at the boat thing.
-Winnie & Pam are up on the horses and are excited they changed tasks, this feels like fun. Zebra!
-Chuck & Wynona have the first 5 animals, Wynona's singing her song and now Chuck has to remember the next 5.
-Joey & Meghan finally delivered their goats and are just starting back when they pass Max & Katie (he made up a lot of time for them).
-Caroline & Jennifer are moving along well with the donkeys until their sled gets stuck on a tree (way to direct it Jennifer!) Allowing Beth and Mona to overtake them.
-Chuck tells the camera it's always been his dream to come to Africa to hunt, all the trophies (he is a taxidermist remember) he has are domestic US - he'd love to have a kudu or a lion (oh, stop, yes I eat meat but I don't like hunting for sport... la la la) Back on the trail, Chuck is remembering his 5 and Wynona is complaining her backside is getting sore (she's almost as bad as Katie, just not as sour-faced.)
-Joey & Meghan finish the Roadblock and head out for the Detour on the water taxi. Max & Katie are right behind them. In the boat Katie says they just have to beat Joey & Meghan, they have to kill it in the Detour or they are done.
-Roller Mom Beth is using her loud Roller voice to keep the donkeys moving but when they get to the camp they can't get them to stop. Mona has to try and hold them in place and let Beth unload the wood.
-Caroline & Jen have a similar issue. They try to stop the donkeys and one of them shies and almost kicks Caroline... eek! A handler comes over to hold the animals and they unload.
-Roller Mom's get the clue to make their way to the river bend and find the Pit Stop. Country Singers are right behind them.
-Chuck & Wynona finish the ride and quickly get their tiles in order... they were a little iffy on the last one - hippo with a bird on it... no hippo, must be the bird - and they are right! Get the clue to the Pit Stop.
-Pam & Winnie are commenting on how pretty their horses are and they miss one of the cut outs (uh oh - they can't do brain or brawn, what's left?) When they see the last one, hippo with the bird on it, figure it must count as two... not realizing they only saw nine.
-Joey & Meghan get to the Detour clue and decide to do Brawn - they take off running as Max & Katie pull up - they also choose brawn. (Head to head battle.)
-Pam & Winnie put their tiles in order and they are incorrect - "oh my gosh, we have to go back to the beginning?" (Yup! So pay attention this time!)
-Joey & Meghan have the same issue Pam & Winnie did with the donkeys, they are not forceful enough. Katie doesn't have that problem - she gets those things moving, they know who's wearing the pants! Joey is slapping the donkey in the face with the carrot - no go.
-Finally they change so Meghan is leading and they get the donkeys moving - they try to pass Max & Katie and get their sled stuck on a tree... could be because Joey is a spaz and keeps running up beside the donkeys so they shy sideways into things (he just gets so excited, I don't think he can control himself. Or, he's just not so smart.)
-Meanwhile, Pam & Winnie have gone through the ride again and, I believe, have made the same mistake - again.
-Max & Katie get to camp just ahead of Joey & Meghan, they are all unloading their wood and Katie says again if Joey & Meghan beat them in a brawn test they deserve to go home (if only...)
-Pam & Winnie missed the Ostrich again (because of course they couldn't have missed one the first time) so instead of trying again, they decide to switch tasks again and take off to do donkeys - (goodbye girls.)
-Joey & Meghan unload their wood faster and get the clue just before Max & Katie - they all take off running.
Here's How They Finished:
1) Bates & Anthony - they won $7500 each (a total $15K). This is their 3rd first place finish but they aren't taking anything for granted, they know the other teams are coming for them.
2) Mona & Beth - there is lots of jumping up and down and screaming when they hear they are team #2
3) Caroline & Beth - Girl Power on the Mat today!
4) Chuck & Wynona - They are good to go! Don't count us out. (I think Wynona thought they would have finished higher.)
5) Joey & Meghan - just ahead of...
6) Max & Katie - Phil plays with them a little, gets them all on the mat together and says, "just not your day... but you'll have to muster a little more strength because you are not the last teams to arrive." "What?" (That's what I said...)
7) Pam & Winnie - **ELIMINATED** They are proud of how they ran the race, they can't feel too bad, they got see and do so many amazing things - they are choosing to focus on the positives. And we didn't see them cry, Pam said "Crying is for b*tches" and I guess she meant it.
So, with Pam & Winnie leaving the Race, Susan N, Kim A, Fred & Gary M, Alexis G and Shelly P are out of the pool.
In Two weeks (so they must not be on next week): They go from Botswana to Switzerland and revisit the cheese rolling challenge... in the SNOW! (OMG) And Wynona goes over the edge, whining while rock climbing, but what else is new?
Hope everyone had a great Easter,
Coleen
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