When the cow kicked me in the head (Chile)
Teams are starting out this leg from Valparaiso, Chile, the San Francisco of South America. Jeff & Jordan, the Big Brother team, are the first to depart at 3:21am. The clue tells them to travel by bus to Peurto Varas, Chile – once there, they have to drive to a hotel with a lake, take a boat to a beautiful little island surrounded by volcanoes to find their next clue.
-Team Big Brother gets to the bus station but it doesn’t open until 5am – Jeff is not happy that all the teams will get on the same bus by then. And all the teams do end up at the station.
-Brandy (the dark short-haired one) says she had been calling team Big Brother “Barbie & Ken” and saying they were not very bright but she recants that in light of their first place finish on the first leg… then they show Jeff & Jordan with a dog in the station and he thinks it’s so weird that the dogs there speak Spanish. (What? That dog SPEAKS? That’s incredible! HAhahah!)
-Dan & Jordan (the brothers) don’t like the cowboys – they’re very independent and Jordan says he’d be surprised if they’re around for much longer.
-The cowboys think they’re underestimated – people see the hats and think they’re country bumpkins – Cord says wearing a hat’s an honour – “If I can’t wear a hat somewhere, I don’t think I want to go.”
-Carol wants to align with Joe & Heidi; she thinks he’s a strong competitor. She approaches him at the bus station and they seem game once Heidi confirms Brandy speaks Spanish.
-All teams are on the bus to Santiago. At the next station Joe & Heidi are the first in line at the counter to buy their connecting tickets and they hold spots for Carol & Brandy. The Detectives did not take too kindly to that. “There’s no holding spots!” The rest of the teams are peeved too and it gets worse when Joe & Heidi and Carol & Brandy get the only 4 seats on the earliest bus out.
-Lou says, “He sneaked us – He’s a sneak” – the second bus leaves an hour later.
-Another 4 teams get on the second bus and Granny team gets on a third – Three other teams decide to see if they can find other ways – taking buses to other cities and connecting – the clue doesn’t say they have to take a direct bus, just that they have to take the bus. The Cowboys found connections that should get them there hours before the direct bus - Big Brother and Miss Teen USA also going with connecting buses through Temuco.
-Carol & Brandy think its pretty cool that all the other teams are behind them… I wouldn’t be so sure.
-The 3 connection teams get to Temuco and the Cowboys find out Big Brother & Miss Teen USA’s bus leaves 1/2hr earlier than theirs so they go to the counter to see if they can switch buses. They find out the other team’s connecting bus is actually leaving from a different terminal that is 10 minutes away by taxi (it’s now 6:20pm.) They decide to keep this information to themselves, giggling like little girls – How sweet would that be [if they missed their bus.] Cord – “Oh my gravy, I’m keeping this under my hat.”
-Big Brother & Miss Teen USA can’t find their bus at the terminal, they ask at the desk and find it’s leaving from the other terminal – they all hop in cabs and scream off at 6:32pm to the other terminal and they have missed the bus. So they hop back in their cabs and scream back to the first terminal again to try and catch the Cowboys bus but they miss that one too – Oh my Gravy! (That’s my new favourite saying.)
-Brent – “Those cowboys are the most magical people ever.” Yeah, they kinda are.
No more buses out tonight from Temuco, they get tickets for the next bus out at 1am.
-Jet & Cord’s bus arrives in Peurto Varas – they are the first team there by hours. They hop in the marked car and start out for the hotel where the boats are.
-Big Brother & Miss Teen USA get on the 1am bus which is supposed to get them to Peurto Varas by 6:45am, still earlier than the first direct bus.
-Cowboys get to the hotel and find the marked path to the boats but there is a sign that it doesn’t open until 7:30am, so they snuggle down in the car to wait. Jet – I wouldn’t say snuggle. Cord – Oh my gravy (love that.)
-Joe & Heidi and Carol & Brandy arrive – think they’re the first teams there but actually 2nd & 3rd.
-Big Brother & Miss Teen USA get there next – so 4th & 5th – Caite is driving because Brent can’t drive a 5 speed (I would mock him but I can’t either – of course if I was going on the Race I’d learn – this happens every season.)
-Jet & Cord have their plastic bag covers for their hats (it’s pouring rain) and they head out on the trail at 7:30am. They get on the boat and head for the island.
-The second direct bus arrives and those 4 teams hit the cars – Dan & Jordan also can’t drive stick – either of them really (well in a car anyway ;) – trying to go with the e-brake on… oh boy.
-The Cowboys get to the island – get the clue to the DETOUR – Llama Adoration or Condor Consternation.
In Llama Adoration they must enter a paddock full of llamas, choose one and dress it for a festival by putting a blanket on its back and a scarf around its neck. Once the unruly beast is adorned correctly, they will get their next clue.
In Condor Consternation they have to dress like a bird, putting on fake feet and a 16ft pair of wings with a huge condor head attached – they must then take flight (jump off the dock/platform) and soar to a marked buoy in the water. (It looks ridiculous.)
The Cowboys decide to dress the Llamas (good choice) and they head back on the boat. They pass the alliance teams in their boats and see they don’t have as much of a lead of they would like – they’re going to have to step it up.
-The alliance teams both also decide to dress the Llamas, it’s still raining and Heidi’s freezing, she doesn’t want to jump in the water.
-Miss Teen USA gets to the island (Big Brother got a little lost looking for the hotel) and they decide to do the Condor. Ha, that’ll be entertaining anyway.
-Cowboys get to the Llamas and head into the paddock. Jet says the first two llamas they approached seemed like they’d be problematic, then one just ambled up to him, seemed mellow – this was the one. They put the blanket on it and scarfed it with no problem. (This is one challenge where their experience dealing with animals was advantageous.) They say they are Llama Whisperers.
They get the next clue and wonder if the other teams know who is in the lead yet – this tickles them.
-Carol & Brandy approach the llamas like city slickers, talking to them like they understand – “oh, you don’t look happy.”
-Joe & Heidi also trying to dress a llama, Joe thinks this one likes him but it spits at Heidi and she shrieks and throws the blanket at it as it runs away – much to the local’s amusement. They try another one and as Joe puts the blanket on it, it kicks him in the leg. Heidi seems shocked – how rude. That one won’t do either.
-Big Brother gets to the island and they want to fly too but don’t quite understand how they can fly… (oh my gravy, these two are ‘pretty’.)
-Miss Teen USA gets to the condor thing and Caite says, “OMG what have we gotten ourselves into.” (Haha, seriously, what where the producers smoking when they came up with this one?) They put on the feet then climb up the platform and put on the flimsy condor wings – it looks like a big black garbage bag with a condor head attached to it. They start flapping the ‘wings’ then run off the platform – Splash! There was no flying just a straight plunge into the freezing water – and a swim to the buoy to get the clue.
At least they don’t have to try again until they ‘fly’ out to the buoy – cause that would be game over.
-Back on the island Father/Daughter gets the clue and they also decide to fly (really?) Lou & Michael (the detectives) are going to do the llamas – Lou is good with animals and he looks like a llama (big bushy moustache… yeah, I can see it.)
-Back at the llama pen – Joe & Heidi finally see one of the llamas is lying down and they go gently drape it with the blanket and scarf – hmm, well he did get spit at and kicked, I guess they’re allowed to take the cheap out. They get their clue. Carol & Brandy get one of the llamas dressed right after and they head out too.
-Back at the island, the Lawyer/Moms get the clue and decide to dress the llamas.
-Big Brother gets to the condor and it’s just as ridiculous – Jeff says, “At least we go out with some dignity.” She doesn’t laugh – “That’s a joke.” “I know.” (Yet somehow I don’t think she did.) There is no flying – Splash! They get the clue and head out.
-The brothers Jordan & Dan are lost (the Lost Boys) – driving around, can’t find the hotel where the boats are.
-Granny & Shannon finally get off the bus in Peurto Varas – wow, they are really behind. Shannon is hoping one of the other teams doesn’t drive a stick. (You are in luck there.)
-Lost Boys drive down to a dead end and don’t know how to get the car in reverse so one of them gets out and pushes the car so they can turn it around…(shaking my head.)
-The Detectives are having no luck with the llamas – the Lawyer moms show up and just chase the things when they run and get it done. Throw on the blanket, chase, throw on the scarf, chase, grab scarf and tie on the run. They get the clue and the detectives are frustrated they passed them. “This is torture.”
-Lou finally gets a couple branches and they use them to shepherd one of the llamas into a corner – Lou holds it there and Michael dresses it – they get the clue and are off.
-The Cowboys get to the farm where the next clue is and it’s still pouring rain – ROADBLOCK – Involves gathering all the ingredients to bake Kuchen, a German influenced pie. One team member must gather a baker’s dozen eggs, milk a cow for a cup of milk and pick up butter, sugar and a sack of flower then take it all to the kitchen where the baker will give them their next clue.
-Cord is doing it for them – he starts with the cow and milks it easily – he takes off his plastic bag hat cover to collect the 13 eggs in, then he picks up the sugar, butter and flour and heads it all into the kitchen. Just like nothing he’s done (the cowboys are magic.) He gets a piece of the pie and takes a bite – “don’t tell Jet I got some of this.” Back in the car Jet asks him what Kutchen is and he says, “Oh my Gravy, I couldn’t tell ya, it looked good though.” Impish grin. Jet - “Did you eat the pie?”
-They got the clue to the Pit Stop; they have to drive back to Peurto Varas to the Gruta de la Virgen, a park named for the Virgin Mary in the shadow of the cathedral.
-The next 2 teams get to the farm – Heidi & Carol are doing the detour. Neither of them have ever milked a cow before – Carol got kicked in the hand and Heidi almost got peed on, neither is very impressed but they get the milk.
-Brent & Caite show up and he’s doing the gathering for them – she keeps screeching encouragement and the other teams glare at her.
-Big Brother shows up and Jeff’s going to do the gathering for them since Jordan doesn’t know what a baker’s dozen is (surprise.)
-Dan & Jordan (the Lost Boys) finally get to the island and decide to do the llamas.
-Granny & Shannon are in the boat right behind them. Granny is almost too calm, she is just focusing on being positive and enjoying the beautiful scenery (BUT YOU’RE IN A RACE!) She’s definitely the Tortoise in this race. They also decide to do the llamas.
-Monique (I think) and Baseball Dad are collecting the ingredients at the farm – she almost gets kicked in the head by her cow – whoa!
-The detectives come up to the farm and decide that can’t be the right place and drive right on by, “we’ll have to keep our eyes open for signage”… arrghghhh!
-Back at the Llama pen, Jordan is playing to the crowd of locals, stripping off his jacket as they cheer, but then Granny tortoise shows up and they get serious and quickly finish. Shannon lassos a baby llama with the scarf and they finish and head out too.
-The detectives are still lost; they drive back into Peurto Varas and decide to ask for directions.
-Dan & Jordan get to the farm – Jordan is doing the collecting for them and he gets it done quickly. His cow relieves itself right after he’s done getting the milk and he tells it they wouldn’t have gotten along so well if she’d done that when he was down there.
-Granny Tortoise gets to the farm and she’s going to do the gathering for them. (Okay.)
-Big Brother is lost in Peurto Varas looking for the pit stop. They stop for directions and see the Detectives, Louie & Michael, let them know where the farm is and Michael realizes they drove right past it – he’s very aggravated!
-The Detectives head back to the farm and Michael runs into the kitchen, finds butter and slips on the floor and falls down – that’s not right. He heads out trying to find the pantry.
-Grandma Jody trying to milk a cow, she’s almost up to the line on the cup when her cow KICKS HER IN THE HEAD – Ouch! She realized she was alright and just picked up a new cup and started again.
-Michael runs into the barn and starts milking, he gets done quickly and heads out still looking for the pantry. Granny Tortoise checks her cup, not quite enough, goes back – ITS ENOUGH ALREADY! (Can you tell she was driving me nuts?)
Here’s how they finished:
1) Jet & Cord (The Cowboys) – win a sailboard – Cord says they went a bit Lone Ranger on this one and it felt good when their decisions worked out.
2) Joe & Heidi
3) Carol & Brandy (came in about the same time – this alliance is working so far.)
4) Brent & Caite – (Miss Teen USA) proud of themselves – she wishes the other teams would realize she’s not stupid and stop making fun of her.
5) Monique & Shawne (Lawyer/Moms) – harder than anything they ever imagined.
6) Jeff & Jordan (Big Brother)
7) Steve & Allie (Baseball Dad & Daughter) – They did the Condor drop as well – Hilarious.
8) Dan & Jordan (the Lost Boys)
9) Louie & Michael (the Detectives)
10) Jody & Shannon (Granny Tortoise) – ELIMINATED – Shannon is so proud of her Grandma – carrying the sack of flour and getting kicked in the head. Jody says she’s proven she can still do physical things and intends to keep it up. They're off on their next great adventure.
So, with Jody & Shannon leaving the race that means, Carol-Anne D, Jeff T, Laura H and Esther B are out of the pool.
Look at it this way, now you can root for whoever you actually want to win.
Preview of next week - The 'dating couple' Carol & Brandy interrogate/confront the Cowboys about their success and then get at each others throats while trying to do the challenge... Ooooh, looks juicy.
Have a great week everyone.
Coleen
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